


Come Honeysuckle or Heartbreak

by Anguisette90



Series: High Water [4]
Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Coercion, Diplomatic Relations, Drama, Dresden-Style Diplomacy, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Harry's A Country Boy At Heart, I Ship It, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, Ladies Love Country Boys, Loss of Control, More Blood and Violence Than Most People Probably Want in Their Porn, Orgasm Control, Rage, Shit's Really Going Off The Rails Here, Torture, why am i like this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:27:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anguisette90/pseuds/Anguisette90
Summary: For any other men out there (or I guess anyone dating a woman if you want to be PC about it) let me give you a word of advice: never, ever, ever, for any reason should you ever utter the phrase “You’re being crazy” to your girlfriend. I don’t care what she has said or done. I don’t care if she’s full-on Fatal Attraction, boiling your kid’s bunny, standing over you with a knife while you sleep, speaking in reverse in dead languages, babbling nonsense and rocking back and forth in a straight jacket, there are some words and phrases that you should just never say around a woman and “You’re being crazy” is one of those things. In fact, the crazier she is, the dumber it is to point it out. Case in point – one Molly Carpenter.Spring has finally arrived, and Harry takes the whole family on vacation to celebrate. Of course, he's Harry, so no one can be too shocked if he has a few surprises up his sleeves (or in his pockets) right? Just like how no one is surprised when a "peaceful, diplomatic discussion" with The Fomor meets a less-than-peaceful end. Harry and Molly can survive almost anything, of course, but in the aftermath, they both start to wonder: Is the same true of their relationship?
Relationships: Molly Carpenter/Harry Dresden
Series: High Water [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595575
Comments: 19
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Ebenezer wasn’t home when we pulled up in front of the familiar old ranch house. From the looks of the inside, he hadn't been in a while. Or maybe he just hadn’t bothered to dust. No sooner had we stepped in the door than the old rotary phone in the kitchen started ringing. I let it ring twice, picked up, hung up, and when it started ringing again, picked up on the third ring. “Just me Sir. I dropped by for a visit but I take it you’re out of town.”

“Damn Council’s keeping me busy. Too many problems and too few wizards lately. You bring company?”

He already knew I had. Ebenezer McCoy took his home security very seriously and I'm sure he had spellwork set up to let him know exactly how many people had entered his property and exactly how many of us were human, probably from a few miles out knowing him. But since he asked it was only polite to answer. “Yeah, just a few people. Needed a break from city life for a day or two. Is that alright?”

“You avoiding some kind of trouble?”

“No trouble. Just a vacation. It's been a long winter and I thought some fresh air and trail riding would do us all good. Plus someone was disappointed that they didn't get a pony for Christmas, so I thought this might make up for it.”

He laughed softly. “I'm sorry to miss you. Make yourself at home, stay as long as you want. I'll warn the stable hand you’re there so there's no confusion in the morning.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“You didn't say it was McCoy's place when you invited us out here,” Thomas said, leaning in the doorway. I’d gotten it in my head to take Molly and Maggie to the ranch some time ago, hopefully, to introduce them both properly to Ebenezer but also to share where I came from. At the last minute, I’d invited Thomas and Justine as well because, well, might as well have the whole family together, right?

“Does it matter?” I shrugged. “He’s not here anyway.”

“He hates me. And the feeling is mutual. Also, _you_ may be able to trust him to keep your relationship secret but he owes me no such loyalty.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing he’s not here. You two can have his bedroom. Molly and I will take my old room. Maggie and Mouse have the pullout.” He looked like he wanted to argue more but decided it wasn't worth the effort and walked away shaking his head.

“Where are you taking me?” Molly asked with a laugh, holding my hand tightly. The makeshift blindfold I’d made wasn’t perfect but she played along and kept from peeking.

“Patience, we're almost there,” I told her. I was consciously aware of the way my entire body relaxed as we entered the barn. The sweet smell of hay was so thick you could taste it on your tongue, which made sense since the loft was full of it. Under that was the sharp earthy smell of the horses themselves, almost like a natural cologne. And of course, the less pleasant aromas common to barnyard animals were present underneath it all, but Ebb maintained his stables well and it showed. All together it was almost too familiar to me.

How many times had I laid in that hayloft, breathing in these same scents with shuddering breaths, hiding from the world and the weight of guilt and shame and more responsibilities than a sixteen-year-old kid should ever shoulder? When I’d woken in tears from nightmares of flesh melting off bone, of monstrosities stalking my every step unseen and untouchable, of Elaine’s ghost, asking how I could kill her, why I didn't save her, I'd come out to the barn and climb up into the loft. With hay bales stacked high on all sides, I could curl up in the middle, feeling safe and hidden and secure in the knowledge that no one but the horses and the occasional barn cat could hear me sob. If I showed up for breakfast the next morning with sprigs of hay in my dark hair and smelling like a horse, Ebenezer never mentioned it. At the time I thought he didn't notice but now I suspected he was just letting me deal with it in my own way.

“Okay, here we are.” I pulled the blindfold off and Molly looked around with a bemused expression.

“A barn? You had to put a blindfold on me to take me to a barn?”

“The barn is just the first stop. Wait here.” When I led the horse out of her stall, Molly gasped like I knew she would. I couldn't blame her. I’d done the same the first time I'd come to visit Ebb and he'd showed her off to me. She was a pure white mare, no pigment to her mane or coat, and beautiful pale blue eyes. She looked like a unicorn that had lost its horn. “Her name is _Sneachda_.”

“’Snow’,” Molly smiled. “How creative. Is she friendly?” Hesitantly she reached out her hand to touch her nose and Sneachda nuzzled gently against it. “Oh! I guess so.” Her laugh was like the tinkling of wind chimes and it warmed my heart to hear it. 

I breathed a mental sigh of relief. I had been pretty sure the horses wouldn't spook, but Molly _was_ at least partially sidhe and animals could sense that better than humans. I wasn’t entirely sure how they'd react but I wasn’t about to admit that out loud so I just said, “I hope so, she's your ride for the day,” as I tied her lead to the post and set about getting her saddled and ready to go. 

“My ride?” Molly asked in surprise.

“Yeah. It's a long hike to get to our destination. I thought we'd ride there so we can be back by dinner.” I glanced at her over my shoulder. “Unless you'd rather not?”

“Oh. No. just, um. Well. I haven't ever, y’know, ridden a horse before.”

I smiled. “Wow really? You never rode over the vast plains of Chicago with the wind in your hair?” She gave me a flat look and I laughed. “Relax, I know you're a city girl. Sneachda is very docile. She's good for beginner riders. And Ebb only breeds Missouri Fox Trotters. They've got a smoother gait than most horses so it shouldn’t be too hard on you.”

“’City girl’,” She scoffed. “Listen to you. What’s that make you, a hillbilly, Tex?”

“’Round these parts they call me Hoss. But I reckon a pretty lady like you can call me whatever you want.” I said, effecting a southern drawl. “And yer lookin’ at a bonafide, gin-u-wine country feller, born and raised. Or raised anyway.” I dropped the accent. “I did some of my best growing up on this farm. Under my suave urban sophisticate exterior lies the heart of a farm boy, you know.”

That earned another laugh. “Well shucks, Hoss. I’m glad I have a regular old cowboy to show a city slicker like me the ropes. I hope I don’t break a nail.”

I could tell she was nervous, but the old mare behaved herself well, barely even moving when Molly swung up to settle into the saddle. I gave her the reins and walked her through the basics while I still had Sneachda’s lead fastened to the bridle, just in case. Of course, she took to it like a fish to water. Molly might have never ridden a horse before, but the Winter Lady had and the knowledge of what to do and how to do it seemed to be instinctive for her. Satisfied within reason that she wasn’t in imminent danger, I brought out my faithful steed. I mean, okay, he wasn’t exactly _mine._ I was just borrowing him for the day. But I had been there when he was born, just a few weeks after Ebenezer had taken me in, and I’d ridden him religiously as soon as he was old enough to ride.

Like me, he was getting on in years now. Unlike me, he wasn’t showing his age much. He was impressive, over 16 hands high which made him taller than Murphy, tall enough to bump his nose against my face and muss up my hair on his way out of the stall. He and Sneachda were a study of contrasts next to each other, with his smoky black coat and jet black mane, round dark eyes gleaming. He was powerful, imposing, like someone hadn’t had the heart to break the news to him that he was for working the fields and trail riding, not someone’s mighty warhorse. Of course, knowing my grandfather, there was every chance he _had_ been someone’s warhorse at least a time or two. “Molly,” I said, walking him over. “Meet Kit. Kit, Molly’s very special so be on your best behavior okay?”

I might have just imagined it, but it seemed like he stood a little taller, presenting himself for her inspection. Molly switched her reins into just her right hand and extended her left to stroke his head. “What a handsome fella.” She arched an eyebrow at me. “Kit?”

“Ebb let me name him. I watched a lot of Knight Rider. He’s all black.” I shrugged. “Kit.”

“You are hopeless. Bob the Skull. Mouse the eight-hundred ton Foo Dog. Kit the majestic stallion. You’re not allowed to name things going forward.”

“He likes it. Don’t you, Kit?” Kit snorted. “Eh, what do you know. You ready to go for a ride?” He cooperated while I got him saddled but once I had one foot in the stirrup he decided he wanted to start dancing in circles. “Hey. Hey! Son of a…would you. Urgh. Enough out of the peanut gallery!”

“No comments here.” Molly declared, fighting back her laughter. “Just admiring the work of a skilled horseman, Hoss.”

I finally managed to swing my other leg up over my moving mount and land in the saddle, glaring down at a now suspiciously still horse. “That is NOT being on your best behavior.” He snorted again.

It took us all of about five minutes to get into the swing of riding together. It had been a little while since I’d ridden (if you discounted my almost literally breakneck race across town on the back of a horse-shaped Goodman Grey, which I certainly did) but it all came back to me. Molly was nervous when we left the barn and headed out into the open air but of course, she did fine, and soon we were charging full steam ahead, side by side down the trails Ebenezer had cut in the countryside for that exact purpose. At first, we wandered without aim, just to get her used to it and to make sure that Molly actually enjoyed horseback riding. Once I saw the grin split her face, I knew I had her and I leaned down over the saddle horn. “Alright boy, you know where I want to go. You still remember the way right?” Kit tossed his head with an impression of irritation and took off.

“Harry, are we supposed to be going this way?” Molly asked as we dodged around trees and fallen logs.

“It’s fine, just follow me. We’re going to follow this deer trail for a while and then we’ll cut through a little bit of brush and we’ll be at our destination. Just keep a good grip on your pommel and stay alert.” She did as I’d asked, and with the exception of a thorn bush that came up on us too quickly to avoid getting a sharp smack in the face we made it through okay. I slowed us down to a walk as we went through the brush, careful not to let either horse get injured. I heard the creek bubbling away as soon as we got near and it took a lot of effort to keep both Kit and myself from running headlong to our favorite spot. “Patience,” I whispered to us both.

When we broke the tree line and came out into the glade, the sun was high overhead. It was unseasonably warm, even for the end of March and I was glad I had an undershirt beneath my fleece work shirt. I swung down off of Kit’s back and helped Molly down as well. She looked around in wonder. It wasn’t a very large glade, just a patch of grass beside a babbling brook when you got down to it, but it was bathed in sunlight, the rays sparkling off of the water which collected in a small pool (just the right depth and size for a gangly teenage wizard to successfully skinny dip in after a long hot day of farm work and riding) before continuing on over the rocks to flow to points unknown. It had always been beautiful – with the addition of Molly, staring wide-eyed around her with a tender expression on a delicate face, it was perfect. “Wow.” Was all she said. I kissed her lips, taking her by surprise.

“Very wow.” I agreed. I let the horses go – they knew better than to wander into the woods and would be content to graze and drink from the stream for however long we stayed. Molly wandered the glade, trailing her fingers over the surface of the water, across the boulder on the far end, kneeling down to inspect the tiny wildflowers growing here or there. While she did, I set up for the main attraction, pulling all of the supplies out from my pack. When I was done, a thick blanket was spread in the middle of the grass with everything we needed for a picnic. Molly gave me another bemused smile when I called her over.

“What’s this?” She asked, sitting down cross-legged opposite me on the blanket. I handed her a can of Coke.

“Well gosh, I thought even a city girl like you would be familiar with what a picnic is,” I replied, digging out the paper plates.

“Yes, goof, I’m familiar with picnics. I meant why are we having one?”

“Our first date didn't uh, didn't exactly go as I planned.” I could feel my face flushing. “So I thought maybe for our next one I’d try something more…me.” I looked around us. “It’s a beautiful day. We have some time for just the two of us, no Winter business, Maggie’s occupied, it just seemed like the right time.”

She shook her head. “There were so many things I was prepared to find out about you, but I never imagined you’d be such a hopeless romantic. It's a pleasant surprise every time.”

“You know me, I like to keep everyone on their toes,” I said, too embarrassed to meet her eyes.

“I like it better when you have me on my back.” She quipped around a mouthful of sandwich.

I snorted. “You like it whenever and however I have you.”

“As long as you have me.” She agreed.

“I’ll have you as long as you’ll let me,” I replied. It was her turn to snort.

“There you go again, taking my perfectly innocent sexual innuendo and turning it into something sweet.” She rolled her eyes. “We’ve been over this. You’ve had me since the first time I saw you. Always have and always will.”

“Good.”

We talked about everything and nothing over lunch. It was nice to have some alone time that didn’t involve looking over our shoulders for danger or listening for the tell-tale sign of doggie paws and tiny feet. When we were done eating we packed the remains and lay side by side on the blanket, her head next to mine, our hands entwined, and watched the clouds overhead. Every so often Molly would point out a shape and I’d usually disagree about what it looked like, and come up with something wildly incorrect just to make her laugh. She laughed a lot that afternoon, we both did. It was the kind of afternoon that was so perfect you half-expected the sky to fall down just to balance it out.

Molly had followed my lead and stripped out of her socks and shoes, stretching until her bare toes were buried in the grass. “I want to stay here forever, just like this.”

“Just like this? Might get old after a while.” I turned my head to watch her. Her eyes were closed and she wore a look of supreme happiness. It looked good on her.

“Not likely.” She made a contented hum. “I should sun myself more often. I almost feel warm for once.”

“Mm.” I agreed, fidgeting in my pocket, fishing out what I was looking for. “Do you think these might help?” The midday sun sparkled over the studs in my open palm. Molly rolled over to get a better look and her eyes widened a bit.

“They might.” She admitted. “I thought you didn’t want me to wear them anymore?”

“Today’s an exception.” My stomach did flip-flops but I kept my voice steady, casual, normal. “We need them.”

“Why would we need them?” She asked, sounding almost afraid of what the answer might be.

I let my voice drop low, and as sultry as I could manage, with a grin that even _felt_ wicked, said, “For dessert.”

I watched desire flicker to life in her eyes. Those two words were enough to get her engine cranked, started and running at full power in no time flat. “I see. And you’ve got a sudden craving for plain vanilla, is that it?” There was something dangerous hiding under the surface of her words. Fortunately, I saw my error and hastened to correct it.

“Nothing of the sort. You, my dear, are far too fine a delicacy to ever be plain anything.” I plucked up one of the piercings. “But I thought I might give you a refreshing take on the familiar, something that might highlight the _natural_ flavors of the dish.” Before I could think about what I was doing, I popped the stud through my earlobe and, when I was bracing for it, the ungodly burn was at least tolerable.

“No, Harry, do you not remember the last time we tried this?” Molly asked, exasperated. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, I’d rather you didn’t try to kill me again too. That’s why I brought the rest of the piercings.” I jiggled my hand slightly. “Your mantle will try to stop me if my Knighthood is blocked. But if your mantle is blocked as well…”

“It might not freak out.” She finished with a frown. “But that’s a might. It might not be enough to stop her at all.”

“So, we’ll find out. Put in a couple of the piercings, and we’ll see how it goes. If I need to, I’ll take my piercing out and defend myself and we can try again.”

“You are seriously insane, Harry.” She shook her head. “Why? I’m all healed up. You’re not going to hurt me. Let’s just–”

I shifted so that I was on my side looking fully at her. “You can argue this if you want, but in a moment I’m going to strip out of these clothes and lay naked in the grass because right now with this piercing in I can feel a million aches and pains but they don’t matter nearly as much as the way the sun feels on my face. I’m warm. Hell, with this fleece on I’m starting to sweat a little. Now, I can lay here by myself and be perfectly content. Or you can put those piercings in, join me on this blanket, and together we can get so sweaty, filthy and hot that we have to go jump in the creek to cool down.” I shrugged a shoulder. “Your choice.”

She chewed her bottom lip and slowly a grin beat out her worried frown. “Fine. Give me those.” She started putting the studs in her left ear. “But I’m taking as few risks as possible. I’m putting them all in from the start.”

“At least start with just the ears.” I protested. “You’re already risking iron poisoning just by using them.”

“Relax.” Her eyes rolled so hard they practically jumped out of her skull. “I think I’m more qualified to know what is and is not going to poison me than you are.” She made quick work of it, nimble fingers fitting metal into flesh with practiced ease. In the end, she _did_ stick to just the ears because I hadn’t brought enough for more. There weren’t noticeable changes with each piercing but once they were all in, the end result was a striking difference. Molly Carpenter was a woman of remarkable beauty, even with her mantle turned off. She rolled onto her back, limbs outstretched, smiling serenely. I understood completely. Winter kept us safe from pain, and fatigue and cold – and also from true feeling, true energy, and true, beautiful perfect warmth. I was feeling like the human embodiment of a soft, fluffy blanket straight from the dryer just about then. Molly looked like she might have been having a religious experience.

As gently as I could, not wanting to disturb her, I stood up and stripped out of my clothes as I’d said I would. Every sensation felt new, the grass tickling my feet and ankles, the breeze tossing a few stray hairs back and forth across my face, and the sun beating down, an ever-present embrace. It took a few seconds before I had the presence of mind to be self-conscious. I mean, I’d watched Molly slowly become more human, the harsh jutting bones of her face becoming round, her body filling in just a bit. On her, it looked amazing. But humanization on me? I sucked in the gut I was sure I had, tried not to look squinty in the bright light of day, and hoped my scars still made me look rugged instead of just old and damaged.

“Someone promised dessert and this view is only making me hungrier,” Molly called, wiggling out of her jeans. I smiled and knelt beside her, helping divest her of the rest of her clothing. She shivered in the light spring breeze, with a smile that lit up her whole face. “This is so perfect. I was wrong earlier, I want to stay just like _this_ forever.”

“You’ll get no objections from me.” As always, I wanted her but it was a different want, a softer need. The fire inside me was a bonfire, bright and strong, but contained. The darkness was still inside me, the anger and chaos that so often fueled my actions, but I'd forgotten how easy it was to push that aside before my mantle. There was no urgent edge to my desire - we had hours yet before we'd need to head back and I had all the time I could want with her. I trailed my hands along her sides, down her arms, over her breasts, hips, thighs, every inch of her body. Each touch was a new sensation, enhanced and full of life, almost like there was an electricity between us. Even with the mantle tamed, the familiar surge of a practitioner’s aura, her raw power, against my own was a tangible jolt. I took my time memorizing her, relearning every curve and swell of her body. “You are just so goddamn beautiful,” I told her and watched her glow with the compliment. It was easy to compliment Molly, both because there was so much to truthfully compliment and because she treated even the smallest of acknowledgments like they were lavish praise. 

“You're rather handsome yourself. For a country bumpkin.” She winked and it drew a genuine laugh from me. It felt good to laugh. Although not nearly as good as it felt a second later when I brushed my lips against hers in the softest, sweetest kiss I'd ever had. Her supple mouth yielded gently under mine, a tender give and take of pressure and love exchanged. When I released her, she was still smiling with her eyes closed and breathing hard. I kissed a line straight down her throat and chest, not stopping until I'd gripped her hips, my head nestled between her thighs. Her hands took up their familiar place, fisted in my hair, when I found my target. It didn't take long before her strained voice was breathing quiet curses and choked gasps.

I patted the side of her leg reassuringly, grinning ear to ear. They say your tongue is the hardest-working muscle in your body. Most days I think that's probably not true but it might have been for me that day. When her legs started shaking and her cries became loud enough to scare the birds out of the trees nearby I picked up the pace. She was starting to sound broken, desperate. Each time she called my name it was a plea to keep going, to get her where she needed to be, and I was happy to oblige. Even without super strength, she threatened to rip chunks of my hair out but I kept going until I felt her orgasm take her. As her back arched up off of the blanket, I held fast to her hips, supporting her body. She was breathless and her eyes were wet when she collapsed back to the ground with a single wordless cry, but she looked at me with a lopsided smile that made the whole world feel like a nicer place.

“Possibly the best dessert I've ever had.” Molly grinned as I moved to lay beside her. “Is that a sundial or are you just happy to see me?” She leered pointedly at the obvious evidence that I’d enjoyed the proceedings as well. With anyone else, I might have been embarrassed but this was Molly, my Molly, and I knew what she wanted.

“As if a man could listen to you saying his name like that and not get hard. Do you have any idea the things you do to me?”

“Do _you_ have any idea the things I _want_ to do to you?” She quipped.

“I've got a few theories.” I admitted, “And I’ll have you know that was just the palate cleanser.” With considerably more effort than I was used to applying but less than I’d expected I lifted her up (‘Gah! What are you doing?!?!’) and pulled her on top of me. “This is dessert.”

Her smile faltered. “Are you sure about this? If I spaz out and attack you again, without your mantle you could get seriously hurt.” She braced one hand on my chest. “I appreciate the thought but it’s a bad idea.”

“Molly, there's nothing sidhe about you right now. I'm confident we’ll be fine. And if not, it takes two seconds to get the piercing out and…no offense but I think I could take you in a fight.”

“If it goes like last time maybe you _will_ take me in a fight.” She replied, wryly.

“It won’t.” I insisted. “Just…come on Molls, don’t you want to know what it’s like, even just once, when we’re both just…us?”

The words struck her somewhere deep, and I think it hadn’t fully dawned on her until then exactly what I’d been offering. Us. Just us with no mantles, all of our flaws and all of our emotions, sensations, body heat, everything that made us human. She swallowed. “I…yes. Of course, I do.”

“Okay, then stop worrying and trust me.” I rubbed at her back until she started relaxing against me. Once she was less tense I turned my hands to rubbing the rest of her. Her nipples already stood at attention as I rolled them around between my fingers and her breathing quickened again. She ground herself down against me, her sex slick and hot against my erection and I grunted. “That's it. Come on, Molls.” She rolled her hips, falling into a rhythm until I was worried I might cum just like that before I ever even got inside of her. I decided that was fine if it's what she wanted. We could try again later or not at all. Today was about her, more than anything, and as long as she was content –

Molly took one of my hands off of her breasts and brought it up to my ear, touching it to the piercing. “Are you ready?” She panted, looking conflicted. A flash of nervousness hit me. What if I was wrong? What if we underestimated or misunderstood how the mantles worked? I found the back to the piecing, bracing myself to take it out if necessary, and nodded.

She took a deep breath, repositioned her hips and then…we both gasped, just watching each other for a minute before I started nervously laughing. “I guess we have our answer,” I said quietly as she moved atop me. Molly nodded, her face strange. “Are you okay?”

“Never better.” She breathed. “It's. You're. We're.” She struggled to find the words she wanted.

“Yeah.” I agreed. It was. I was. We were. Something so simple, not so far off from anything we'd done before, but it felt completely different. I pulled her upper body down against me as well so I could kiss her lips and we moved together, slow, lazy pumps of our hips, each movement like liquid fire running through my veins. “I love you,” I whispered, holding her close to me, our bodies writhing together.

“I love you too, Harry.” Her eyes burned, wet with tears. “Is this real? Please tell me this is real.”

I slapped her naked ass hard enough for her to yelp and she laughed. “Yeah, see, definitely real.” I didn’t begrudge her the question though. It felt so good, so perfect. It made me think of my very first time, when it felt like the very secrets of the universe were being revealed to me, like at any moment my body might be converted to pure energy because surely this flesh prison I resided in couldn't hold all of the beautiful pressure and rapturous pleasure I was feeling. It was almost too much. “Stars, Molly.”

“Mm. Harry.” She stroked my face tenderly, brushing the stubble. She looked strained but happy, overwhelmed in the best way possible. “ _My_ Harry.”

“Umph. Yours.” I agreed. I was getting close, and it took more focus than it should have to make coherent words come out. “Right here. Right now. I’m all yours. Only yours. My Molly.”

She made an inarticulate noise and we picked up the pace, sweat-slick bodies sliding against each other. Her mouth found mine and we gave ourselves over to the moment completely, a tangle of limbs and passion, crying out obscenities and prayers and each other’s names. We ended up on the grass, her on her back and one of my arms cushioning her head, holding her as close to me as I possibly could. We'd left words behind us in the dust, both panting and gasping, unable to draw enough breath for anything more.

I was trying to choke out a warning, or an apology, to let her know I couldn't hold back any longer when she cried out, completely ceasing to breathe and her body went rigid. Her eyes met mine, sparkling with adoration and love. Her lips made no sound but I watched her form my name and it was too much. I made one last deep thrust and together we went over the edge.

“I was wrong again,” Molly said quietly afterward. I was laying on my back and she’d rolled over to curl up against my side, her head on my chest.

“About what?” I murmured. The sun had shifted while we were occupied, flooding the glade with orange light, filtered through the surrounding trees.

“That. I want to do _that_ forever. Forget what I said before.”

I chuckled. “I don’t know if I could do _that_ forever. But if I could, you bet.”

“I didn’t realize it would be so…”

“Different?” I suggested.

“Better. So much better. So much more.” She shifted against me. “Is it always like that, when you’re both human?”

Ow. Right, she’d never done the deed with anyone but me and I’d always had my mantle before. “Yes and no. Yes, sex without Winter is…more. I didn’t even realize how much I was missing until now. But no, it’s not usually _that_ good. That’s just you and me, babe.”

“Oh.” She flushed, tucking her head to hide what I'm sure was a satisfied smile. She heaved a happy sigh. “This is perfect. How did you know it was here?”

“I told you, I'm a country boy. I used to roam these woods for fun.” I closed my eyes, letting the late afternoon light settle on my eyelids. “This was kind of my…happy place, I guess you'd call it. I came out here to practice difficult spellwork, or when Ebenezer would start to piss me off, sometimes just when I needed some time alone to think, reflect.”

“Your quiet place, all for you.” I nodded. “Pretty romantic spot for a date though.”

I opened one eye to glance at her. “I’ve never brought anyone else here before. Not Susan, not Karrin. Just you.”

“Oh.” She was quiet for a minute. “ _Very_ romantic spot for a date, then.” She kissed my cheek, and I had to remind myself that it wasn't wrong when her lips weren’t cold like usual, that this is how she was meant to be.

“I used to…I spent a lot of time thinking about bringing a girl I loved here.” Of course, at 16 I had one love and at the time I thought she'd betrayed me and that I’d killed her along with Justin, which made it a bittersweet thing to think about. Someday I’d need to talk to Molly about everything that had happened with Justin and Elaine, beyond the highlights she'd received as my apprentice, but today was not that day. “It never felt right with anyone else, until you.”

“…Thank you. For sharing this place with me. For sharing yourself with me.”

“Thank you for being you, for being so right for me.” She leaned up to kiss me at the exact same time I moved to do the same to her and we met in the middle, smiling. Gradually the kiss deepened until she climbed on top of me, pressing the full length of her sunkissed body against mine. Her arms slid around my neck and her kisses trailed down my chin, my throat, my chest. After a minute or two of that, she started to writhe against me and it felt so good I almost missed the frown on her face. “You okay? Are you hurt or…?”

She stopped and looked at me almost warily. She opened her mouth, screwed it up in consternation, licked her lips and tried again. “I'm fine. It's just…do you…do you _want_ to do this?”

“Of course, but only if you want to,” I said slowly, trying to puzzle through what was wrong.

“Okay, you just don’t…I mean, you aren’t…am I not…as good like this?”

I had a momentary bout of confusion before I caught on. While the mind was eager, the most relevant part of my body was…semi-eager at best. “Heh. Molls, you’re amazing at all times in all ways. Most men just need a little time to, err, recharge.”

Molly eyed me suspiciously. “You never have before.”

“Never with you, because I’ve always had Winter to uh, help out, I guess.” A horrible thought dawned on me. “Probably because it’s my job to…Hells bells. That’s disturbing.”

“But now that I’m not the Winter Lady, you don’t want…” Poor Molly looked like she was about to cry, unable to finish her thought and I was quick to correct her.

“No, Molly it’s not you. You are perfect.” I ran my hands along her sides, over the swells of her breasts, her hips, coming to rest by cupping her ass. “It’s just that right now I’m nothing but a normal 40-year-old guy. I assure you no one could get a stronger reaction out of me right now. Well, probably the White Court, but without magical or supernatural influence,” I shrugged, trying to hide my embarrassment and disappointment that my inability to perform had made her second guess herself. “We’ll just need to be patient. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just didn’t know…I didn’t know that was a thing. Nelson never…” She blushed. “It’s fine.”

I actually laughed when she refused to meet my eyes. “Nelson was, what, 17, 18, when you were with him last?” She nodded. “This is one of the downsides of sleeping with an old man like me. When I was a teenager I needed maybe five minutes and I was ready to go. Now, we’ll just have to find a way to busy ourselves for a little while.” I brought my hands slowly back up her body, tracing lightly over her silken skin. Gently, I pulled her closer so that I could take one of the stiff rosy buds of her nipples into my mouth.

“I just, ah, if I’m not, mm, good enough you can, umph,” I covered her mouth with mine, fiercely, savagely, as if I could wipe the words out of her mind with my lips and tongue. When we broke away, the uncertainty in her eyes had diminished, the fire of her desire burning bright.

“Remember Lesson One, Grasshopper. You’re mine.” That drew a small smile. My fingers at her nipples probably weren’t hurting anything either. “There's no one I want more than you; your heart, your mind, _and_ your body. Never doubt that, Molly. I love _you_ , not your mantle or your powers.”

“I love you too.” She gave me a crooked smile. As before, our kissing started out slow and rapidly escalated until we ended with her body convulsing around my fingers, and every part of me ready to go.


	2. Chapter 2

Molly was still astride me, catching her breath, when I flexed my hips, rubbing myself against her opening and she snorted. “What happened to patience?”

“Fuck patience,” I growled with perhaps more force than I intended. “Women are like the Energizer bunny, you can just keep going and going and going.” I angled myself to enter her and she moved slightly to take me in. I spent the better part of the next hour demonstrating for her that while I might need longer to recover post-orgasm than her teenaged ex (which, really, why was I suddenly absurdly jealous of the kid that hadn't even managed to round all the bases to slide into home with her?) age had brought me two things – experience and stamina. The first time her orgasm took her, she wasn't surprised when I kept right on going. After all, we didn't always finish at the same time. But as her second started building she caught my eye and when I grinned at her she gave me a goofy grin back, understanding.

“Harry,” she panted when she recovered enough to talk from her second and I was still moving within her. She was gripping my arms to steady herself. “I…my god.”

“Sorry, what was that? Did you say ‘harder’?” I was half-incoherent myself, to be honest, my fingers digging into her back, my body drenched in sweat. I was barely holding on, nothing but pure stubborn will keeping me from joining her. But I needed to last. I needed to prove to her that I could still fulfill her carnal desires as regular old Harry. Or maybe I was proving it to myself. Either way, it sounds stupid now but at the time it was important. I drove harder, faster, angling up to hit right where I knew she needed it. She rode me in time like a rodeo bull.

Molly was just making noises at that point, cries and disjointed syllables. Her skin was slick in the late afternoon sun, warm and glistening above me. Her head was rolled back, eyes shut tightly as if in pain, but she was still moving with me. I was surrounded by the scent of her mixed with fresh grass and earth and somewhere on the breeze the faint smell of honeysuckle and ripe berries. It was intoxicating and I lost myself in it. My own breathing was harsh and ragged and my body ached with the need for release but I couldn't, wouldn't, not until she was ready. I started counting by prime numbers and it wasn't until I heard Molly laughing softly that I realized to my chagrin that I was doing it out loud. 

I expected her to comment, to tell me to let go even, but she didn't. Instead, she sat up straighter, bearing down harder and somehow taking me deeper in. We both cried out with each thrust, wordless, primal sounds of need, until finally, I brought her to shuddering, screaming completion yet again and with her muscles contracting into a wet hot ecstasy around me I spilled myself into her.

“I was really worried for a second that you were going to try for a fourth time, and I thought ‘this is how I die.’” Molly whispered, sprawled across me in a boneless heap. We both laughed.

“You could have told me to stop.”

“Why on earth would I do that? My heart might have given out but damn, what a way to go.” We both laughed again. I expected to feel exhausted, or at least tired, but I was full of too many endorphins to be either. Her hair was draped partially over my face and I picked a piece of grass out of it.

“You look like a mess.” I murmured, and it was true. Her hair was mussed and filled with grass, dirt, and debris. Her back was filthy from our first round and her toes had dug into the dirt and mud.

Some women would have been offended, but Molly sat up enough to look at me with a wry smile. “Oh yeah? Maybe like I just got fucked silly in a field?” She suggested, stretching out.

I grinned. “Something like that.” I squinted up at the sky. “We should probably get cleaned up if we’re going to make it back in time for dinner.”

“You first. I don’t think my legs will support me right now.” I gently shifted her off me so that I could stand and then I leaned down and scooped her up. “Hey! Put me down!” She protested, all giggles and smiles.

“Nah. This sounds like more fun.” I strode confidently toward the stream and it’s familiar pool, not even hesitating for a moment before I stepped right in.

**_Cold_** _!_ The thought consumed me entirely, my vision actually blanking out for a moment. The cold of the water burned against my legs, which were hot from the sun and the afternoon’s activities and it was like I’d stepped into a vat of acid. I yelped, a very undignified scream of both surprise and pain. It was a deep pool and even at the edge of it I’d stepped into water that came above my knees. I almost dropped Molly in the process and she ended up on her feet in a circle of my arms.

“Fuck, it's colder than Mother Winter’s tits!” Molly stood rigid, hugging herself.

“Really hope that's just a colorful expression and not something you know from experience,” I said between gritted teeth. “I don't think it's _that_ cold. We're just not used to feeling it at all.”

“If you say so.” She said, teeth chattering. I started walking deeper into the small pool and Molly yelped. “No, what're you doing?”

“Going into the middle, so I can wash the grass and dirt from my hair.”

“No. No no no no no nononononononono!” The further I walked us into the water the shriller her protests became. When the water came up to my hips she wrapped her legs around me, floating, and proceeded to scramble up me like a cat up a Christmas tree as we sunk deeper. In the center, the pool came to my shoulders, and she had her legs wrapped under my armpits, my face buried in her abdomen.

“You understand that water is a necessary component in washing right?” I laughed.

“But it’s so cold!” She protested.

“Somewhere our boss just got a sudden surge of irritation and disappointment and doesn't know why.” I looked up at her. “You'll adjust, I promise.”

Molly eyed the water warily, took a deep breath and pushed off of me, dropping herself into the water until she was completely submerged. She came up sputtering and swearing. “When I catch pneumonia, it's going to be your fault.”

“You’re a wizard and sidhe, you're not going to catch pneumonia.” She glared at me none the less, pale hair plastered to her skin, framing the curves of her body beautifully as she floated in front of me, one hand on each of my shoulders to keep her elevated. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

“Yeah? You like purple lips and blue skin?” She was shivering considerably, but her skin had not changed colors in any way. “I’m turning into a popsicle.”

“Would that make you a Molly-pop?”

She shook her head and turned her face to try to hide her smile, but it still came through in her voice. “I can see the ironic headlines now: Lady Winter Dies of Hypothermia, Frozen to Winter Knight.”

“Don’t you think you might be exaggerating juuuust a bit?” I teased.

“Me? Never.” She grinned at me. “It’s been so long since I could tell a real, honest to goodness lie. It feels good to be able to exaggerate… unlike this freezing water which will surely be the death of me.” She draped one arm across her forehead, pretending to swoon in the most melodramatic way possible. “Unless of course, you could think of some way to warm me up?”

“Mm. I have a few potential solutions.” It was satisfying on a primal level to know that it didn’t take any more than that quick exchange to get us going, even without Winter’s influence. Let’s face it, I’d never lacked for a sex drive (maybe the sex to go with it, but never the drive for it) but part of me had worried that without her mantle, Molly might not be as eager. Those fears were soundly put to rest that day. Smooth slick skin glided under my hands, covered in goosebumps but still a stark contrast of heat in the cold stream. Her mouth burned like fire against my clammy body, tasting and teasing my neck and chest, her hands below my waist. We ended with her pinned against the rock, the waters rushing around us while we cried out our love for each other. Afterward, we laid there together for a while, my chest against hers, our legs still submerged, the sun beating down on us both. “So? You warm enough yet?”

I could feel her body jiggle against me with her laughter. “From my head to my toes.”

Slowly and reluctantly we dragged ourselves out of the water and onto land. We got dressed with equal enthusiasm, though I couldn’t help but be proud of the way Molly was grinning ear to ear the whole time. She breathed in deep, savoring the springtime air, her face upturned to the gentle rays of the setting sun and only after a long moment of quiet peace did she start to take out the earrings. I took out my own and collected them from her, putting them back in my duster pocket. My knuckles brushed against the solid shape of the box I’d had tucked away in that same pocket for weeks now and I considered showing it to her but… well it had already been a perfect day, hadn't it? No need to complicate things.

I helped her back onto her mount and hopped into my saddle as well and together we headed back to the ranch. When we hit the open plains and fields, Molly surprised me by nudging her mare until she was racing past me, leaving the echo of her laughter in her wake. Of course, Kit and I weren’t about to let these two women beat us in a race, not here on our home turf, and I gave him his reins so we could leave them in the dust. It wasn't fair, of course. We knew the lay of the land better, and while I would never be a show rider or anything, I was the more experienced of the two of us. Honestly, I was impressed that they were even close behind us when we made it back to the barn. “Jerk.” She panted, beaming as she pulled up alongside me. “Don't you know you're supposed to let a lady win?”

“That sounds like an astonishingly sexist attitude to have, Ms. Carpenter,” I said in mock offense. “Women are just as capable as men. If I let you win it would be an insult to your entire gender.”

The glare Molly trained on me could have leveled buildings. “Are you really lecturing me about gender equality? _You_? Unbelievable.” Our laughter was a soft, muted thing in the shelter of the barn and it continued as we removed saddles and tackle, and brushed down the horses. I felt more carefree than I could ever remember, practically giddy, and Molly obviously felt the same. We held hands, swinging them lightly back and forth between us as we walked back to the house.

“About time,” Thomas called as we came through the door. In the entire time I'd lived with Ebenezer I had never smelled anything nearly as wonderful coming out of that kitchen. “I was worried we'd need to send a search party for you.”

“I _told_ you they’d be back for dinner,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes as we came around the corner. “They only miss dinner when it’s for work stuff. And only cause their boss is a stupid jerk who doesn’t care about dinner time or bedtime or anything else.”

Thomas choked on air for a moment, looking sidelong at me. I shrugged. “She's a big kid, she can form her own opinions. If she wants to call the Queen of Air and Darkness a stupid jerk, that's her prerogative.”

“This is how it starts, you know.” Thomas gestured toward Molly with the wooden spoon in his hand. “If you don’t nip this in the bud now, it's only going to get worse. It's too late for Harry, he's already set in his ways, but it's not too late to teach the kid that she doesn’t need to insult everything that so much as looks at her as a defense mechanism.”

“Don’t look at me.” Molly threw her hands up in defense. “I love the little Squirt but she’s not my kid. I don’t call the shots.” Well, that soured my mood pretty quickly. I mean, of course she wasn’t Maggie’s biological mother but I guess I’d just assumed we were both on the same page about, well, about us both being Maggie’s parents. We’d been sharing all of the responsibilities, like helping with homework and getting her up for school, all the day to day stuff. Was it just that I wasn’t paying attention? Maggie didn’t call Molly ‘mom’ but that seemed normal. I think. Elaine and I hadn’t called Justin ‘dad’ and that was the closest experience I had to having a step-parent. Or a ‘dad’s girlfriend’. Crap. “Harry? You okay?” Molly squeezed my hand.

“Oh. Oh yeah!” I lied, forcing a smile. “Just wondering how much longer the chef is going to starve us out. I’m Hungry, with a capital h.”

“Of course you are.” She said with a smirk, kissing me soundly. “You worked up quite an appetite today.”

At the stove, Thomas snorted. “I’ll just bet he did. As if you didn’t help.”

“What did you guys do to get so hungry?” Maggie asked suspiciously

In unison, Molly and I replied, “Horseback riding.”

“Aww. I want to go horseback riding!” She exclaimed, excitedly.

Thomas laughed so hard I thought he might die, something which I wouldn't have been too broken up about at that moment. “I'll take you out tomorrow, sweet pea,” I assured her.

Dinner tasted even better than it smelled and everyone ate to their heart’s content. Afterward, I dug out the board games and we had a very cutthroat session of Monopoly which ended in a crushing defeat at the hands of Justine. By the time Maggie went to bed, I was longing for sleep myself. The twin-sized bed was a snug fit for the two of us, especially compared to the behemoth monstrosity of a bed she had at home, but neither of us complained.

We laid on our sides, my back against the wall and hers pressed tightly against the front of me, so close her hair stirred from my breathing. It was a strange feeling, sharing my old familiar room with its old familiar walls with someone else. Overhead the exposed beams of the ceiling still held the same dark whorls and knots that I’d stared at for countless hours, tracing shapes and patterns that weren’t there to distract me from things I didn’t want to think about or didn’t want to remember. These walls had seen me in some of my darkest hours – certainly what I thought would always be my darkest hours at the time – and some of my most hopeful as well. I could remember how that splotch had looked like a grumpy old man to my watery vision the night I’d cried so hard I’d made myself sick. It had been Elaine’s 17th birthday. And that dark spot that looked a bit like a rabbit, if you squinted in just the right way? It looked exactly the same as it had on the night Ebb first told me he was proud of me. I hadn’t really expected the wood to shift with time, but it was an oddly comforting reminder that some things remain exactly the same no matter how changed you are.

“Now that we’re alone, do you want to tell me what had you so upset in the kitchen, earlier?” Molly asked, lightly stroking the back of my hand which rested on her stomach.

I bit back a complaint about not even having privacy over my own emotions. I knew she didn’t want to be so sensitive to the energies around her and she had little control over it, but it didn’t make it less frustrating. I sighed. “Do you really think you have no say in how we raise Maggie?”

“I…” She thought about it for a moment. “Well, she’s _your_ daughter, Harry. I’m happy to give my advice whenever you want it but I wouldn’t…It’s not really my place to tell you how to be a parent.”

“…Because you’re not her mother?”

“Yeah.” It was a quiet admission and it sounded like it had cost her something. “I would give my life for that girl if I had to. I love her like she was my own. But she’s not.” My heart broke a little more with each word. I didn’t need her sensitivity to feel her pain. And I realized I’d been wrong earlier – it wasn’t that Molly didn’t want to be the other half of this parenting team, she just thought she wasn’t welcome.

“That’s a bunch of crap,” I said roughly, holding her tighter. “You’re her family. Blood has nothing to do with it.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s for the best. What kind of mother could I really be? The Winter Lady isn't a role model.” She snuggled in closer.

I wasn’t sure how to respond and everything I could think to say was going to come out angry which I knew would be misplaced if directed at her. I wasn’t angry at Molly. I was angry at the situation. “Maggie was an orphan before I brought that knife down in Chichen Itza, well before my deal with Kincaid. Because the people that raised her, who taught her during her formative years, who taught her to speak and read and write, those people were her parents. Not the mother who showed up on rare occasions to visit or the father that, god, I don’t know if she even knew about until she saw me that night. The people she loved, who I can only assume loved her back since they were there, taking care of her, day in and day out, she became an orphan the night they died.

“I love her with all my heart. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my Maggie. And I, I think despite everything she really loves me too. She calls me ‘Dad’ and I can only hope that I can live up to it, that I’m always worthy of the name. But I harbor no illusions that if circumstances were different, if her foster family were still alive, I’d be just another stranger to her even if we met. Maybe a friend, someone to be respected, someone she liked, but not ‘Dad’. Because at the end of the day, family isn’t about whose blood is flowing through your veins, it’s about who loves you and who you love back.” I kissed the top of her head where it nestled in front of me. “Molls, you don’t have to share her genes to be her mom, if that’s what you want. Maggie’s a patient kid, she’ll give you every opportunity to earn the title. And I’m hoping you will because heaven knows I shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house unsupervised let alone try to rear the girl-child by myself.”

I wasn’t sure how much of the shaking was from tears and how much was her laughter at me and I didn’t care. I kissed her head over and over and held her in silence for a long, long time. I had assumed she’d fallen asleep when she finally said, “Thank you.”

“For what?” I murmured, my voice thick with my drowsiness.

“For sharing your life with me. I… I wish I could… I mean, I wish we…” She exhaled hard in frustration. “I wish I didn’t have this cursed mantle that’s for damn sure. But raising Maggie side by side with you is, it’s more than I ever dared to hope for. So, thank you.”

“Bah. I just want someone else to blame when she hits her teenage years and becomes an utter terror.” I said lightly. The shaking was definitely laughter that time.

“I think maybe genetics will have an impact there.”

“You keep it up, I’m going to show you an impact, woman.” I joked.

Molly made a cooing noise, squirming delightedly against me. “I’ll help keep it up all night for you if you want, Hoss.”

“Mmm. How do you manage to make even _Hoss_ sound absolutely filthy?” I asked, tracing the outline of her body with my fingertips.

“That’s easy. I just think of all the absolutely filthy things we could be doing together and let it flow into my words.” She started moving her body back against me sinuously, the full length of my member rubbing against her bare ass with each undulation.

“Is that so, _Molly-pop_?” I asked, following her suggestion. This might have earned a laugh if I hadn’t decided to improve on her advice by _showing_ her exactly what I’d like to be doing to her, instead of just letting my words do it for me. We didn’t manage to get to everything we’d like to do to each other, but we made as much headway as possible in a twin-sized bed and a room with very little soundproofing. I fell asleep secure in the knowledge that I’d done the memory of 16-year-old me proud.

It just wasn’t our day. It was supposed to be a joint mission of diplomacy – Sarissa and Molly would meet with Fomor representatives to discuss the possibility of an alliance. Mab had made it perfectly clear that this was not to happen, without ever saying it in so many words. For instance, when her Lady started spewing profanity so vulgar that it made _me_ uncomfortable at the mere suggestion of diplomatic relations with the Fomor, she just smiled, nodded and suggested that she take me along, to aid in the diplomacy. Look, there is only one way I have aided in diplomatic situations – wiping out and/or intimidating at least 50% of the parties involved. Realizing the implication, Molly flashed Mab a chilling, toothy smile and bowed. “Of course, your majesty. We’ll do our best to make you proud and treat the Fomor delegation with all of the courtesy and respect that they deserve.”

“My darling girl,” She stroked my lover’s cheek and I had to resist the strong urge to slap her hand away. “What a fine Queen you are becoming. I have no doubt that you will do honor to our Court.” Molly was careful to let her face remain neutral at the praise, but as soon as we were away she looked conflicted. She didn’t share and I didn’t ask but I didn’t need to. Molly was the sort of girl who was always eager for praise. Whatever task was put before her, she wanted to not just do it but excel at it. Being the Winter Lady was no exception, especially since Mab was not quick to deliver compliments, but now that she had received praise…did she really want it? Was it a good thing to be good at your job when you were Winter Lady?

She’d taken a considerable amount of time to ensure we were both properly attired for this mission. Her hair was up and braided tight to her head and the design across the front made it look like she wore a crown. She wore a navy blue corset with black pinstripes under a black suit jacket with a tight blue skirt and tall black boots. I would have expected the outfit to hinder her movement but she tested a few strikes to be sure and moved as smoothly as ever. And once she was dressed it wouldn’t do for me not to match. I wore a light blue dress shirt with a tie (yeah, a freakin tie) in navy and black stripes that matched her top. I tried to argue that jeans were blue and therefore fit the motif but still ended up in black slacks. I put my foot down at wearing a button-down jacket. “I’m wearing my duster, and that’s that. Everyone knows I’ll be there as muscle for when things go south –”

“You mean ‘in case’ things go south. We could have a completely polite and mutually beneficial meeting.” I gave her a flat look. “Come now. We are going to make an effort to make sure things go smoothly. The Unseelie Court is hardly going to be responsible for violating the peace efforts of a group trying to become Accorded under our Accords.” I gave her another flat look. “Harry.” She cautioned. “If you’re not going to play the game, I’ll have to put you on the bench.”

“Fine. Everyone knows I’m going to be there as muscle _in case_ things go south. If I don’t wear my duster, they’ll think something is wrong. I don’t go out in public without it and everyone knows that.”

So there we were, standing in the early-May sun in our finery (plus my coat) outside of a warehouse on the coast of Lake Michigan. It was all the way over on the Michigan side but it hadn’t been a difficult trip through the Nevernever. If a warehouse seemed like a strange place to meet for diplomatic relations, neither Sarissa nor Molly showed it. Sarissa had arrived in a pure white cotton sundress and a pale pink half jacket. Her own white tresses were pinned up in an elaborate pile on her head, just a few locks spilling down over one shoulder. She looked like the girl-next-door, pure and chaste and begging for you to tear her clothes off and make her squirm and scream and –

Molly laid her hand on my arm and gave me a meaningful look. There were a lot of things she could have justifiably said or communicated to me in that look – jealousy, outrage, anger – but instead, she just looked patient yet stern. It was a reminder to focus on the task at hand and to keep my mantle in check. With some effort, I did and Sarissa politely pretended she didn’t notice, nodding to Molly and offering a hand to me. I bowed low over it and brushed my lips across her knuckles. See, civilized gentleman right here. I held my hand out for Fix to shake and instead he pulled me into a tight hug. It seemed weird until he whispered quietly, “Look at her like that again and I’ll remove your eyes, Dresden.”

“He’s spoken for, Sir Knight. You hardly need to threaten him.” Sarissa called, prettily. “And looking is not a crime, or surely Harry would need to defend Lady Molly’s honor from your own advances.”

“My Lady,” Fix stammered. “I wasn’t-“

“Distracted by Lady Molly’s enticing display of her ample cleavage the moment we stepped through the portal?” She suggested mildly. “A bald-faced lie. And rude. The Winter Lady went to considerable effort to look nice for this occasion. It’s only polite to appreciate the fruits of her labor, as Harry was appreciating me. Please forgive us this slight, Lady Winter.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Lady Sarissa,” Molly said with a wave of her hand. “Sir Fix was only doing what he felt was his duty, protecting his territory. I know how possessive my Knight can be, right Sir Dresden?”

I gave Fix, still standing in front of me, a weary look. “Is it always like this when you put the two of them together?”

“Personally, I prefer it when they’re at each other’s throats. It’s just fucking weird when they team up to harass a guy like this.”

I clasped his forearm and we bumped chests. “Good to see you, brother.”

It caught him off guard but he responded, “You too, Harry.”

“Hey guys,” Molly called, nodding her head toward the warehouse doors. “We’ve got business to attend to so maybe you could sing Kumbaya and start making out _after_ that’s taken care of?” We both grumbled and took up positions slightly in front and to the side of our respective Ladies. The door slid open automatically and we were greeted by a bloated man with a slight green tinge to his skin wearing ornate flowing robes. One of their sorcerers, no doubt.

Most of the warehouse was walled off from our sight by shipping crates upon entry, but our host (Glablock or Glumluck or something – I was too busy scanning for traps and spells to pay full attention when he said it) led us up a rickety metal staircase into a room with a glass wall that must have served as a manager’s office before the building had been appropriated by the Fomor. We were seated around an oval conference table that looked drastically out of place. It must have been brought there for this exact purpose.

He offered food and drink, invoking the rites of hospitality, which honestly surprised me. Without being told, Fix reached for a chalice and took a polite sip. After a beat, I realized ‘cupbearer’ was probably something we were both supposed to do and followed suit. The chalices proved to contain seawater and I almost choked, but when a few minutes had passed and I felt no other ill effects, I passed it to Molly. The plate was full of squirming tentacles and miscellaneous bits of flesh and I really didn’t want to put any of it in my mouth, so I settled for a chunk of what I’m pretty sure was dried seaweed. I choked down half of it and when it also didn’t kill me, I turned that over to my Lady as well.

Fix and I might as well have been decorative for the rest of the conference. We didn’t speak. We weren’t addressed or acknowledged. We just sat there looking threatening. So I occupied myself with observing my surroundings. From the glass wall, I could see down into one corner of the warehouse below. I had to focus to make out details, but it looked like there were rows of metal crates – no – cages set up along the far wall. Some were empty, some were not. Nearby, fabric partitions had been put up, with beds between each, and distorted shapes, not quite human, occupied them. Some moved, writhed, others stayed still. Most were adult-sized, but a few–

“Sir Dresden,” Molly said sharply. “Sit. Down.” I shook myself. Apparently, at some point, I had stood up to get a closer look out of the window. My fists were clenched, and I’d called power to myself. Huh. I hadn’t consciously done any of that but I stood by it. I’d been given a command though, so I obeyed, returning to my seat. “So sorry for the interruption. Please, continue.”

“Of course. As I was saying, we are aware that there are changes we would need to make, but we are prepared to–”

“Hey Glamdring,” I interrupted. “ _So sorry_ for the interruption again, but could you explain what’s going on in your WWII-era hospital set up down there?”

Glermdrem blinked at me, which was unsettling because he had two layers of lids like a shark. “Excuse me?”

I pointed out the window. “You’ve got things hooked up to IVs in makeshift beds. Hard to tell from here but it looks like some of them are strapped in.”

“For their own safety, I assure you, Mr. Dresden.” Glamlug declared with a too-wide grin. I mean that literally, it was waaaay too wide for anything humanoid, almost like a zipper running all the way around his face.

“ _Sir_ Dresden.” Molly put the slightest emphasis on my title, pointing out Grablock’s omission. “We are trying to have an amicable conversation. If you could refrain from any further wild accusations, we would appreciate it.”

It sounded like a reprimand. If I hadn’t known her so well, I would have believed it. “Of course, My Lady.” I bowed my head. “I don’t know what came over me. After all, we are not in Chicago so they’re not restricted to the Baron’s rules against involving children. And I’m sure the cages are for their occupants’ safety as well.”

“Of course,” Sarissa replied. “Have you ever been in a cage, Sir Dresden? It’s a tremendously secure feeling.” Everyone in the room turned our heads to look at her in surprise. “When I was much younger I could be…willful sometimes. My poor mother tried everything to curb my behavior, to keep me in line. Finally, she put me in a kennel like I was a hound. At first, it was terrible but eventually,” She shrugged one pale, delicate shoulder. “I learned to love the safety, the freedom to let go of my own wants and desires and to just be who I was supposed to be.”

“It’s good that you can carry your mother’s lessons on love and mercy to this day,” Molly said, her face a politely blank canvas. I tried to scrub the horror off my own expression and just happened to see the door open exactly wide enough for a small, lean man to slip through. No one was visible but Fix was not in sight and I connected the dots.

“Yes, clearly your mother was a wise woman,” Glibluck said smoothly. “Now, unless you have further questions…?” He looked at me with a raised…ridge where his eyebrow would have been if he weren’t a gross hairless fishy monstrosity. I glanced at Molly who shook her head ever so slightly.

“Uh, no, I guess that’s it.” I slumped back in the chair and tried to pay attention to the negotiations and keep an eye out for Fix through the window. I wasn’t sure what he was up to, whether he was just confirming my observations or if he was planning on doing something. I had an absurd surge of jealousy that Sarissa had allowed him to slip away from the table while I’d been ordered to sit – then realized I sounded like a kid pouting because Timmy's mom lets him stay up until 9, and tried to stuff it down.

Damn but my head was pounding. I hadn’t slept well the night before and I hadn’t had nearly enough coffee before we left, that must be it. I was feeling tired, exhausted even. These chairs were old and not very comfortable and my back was starting to hurt. We’d been here for…how long? An hour now? Maybe two. Two if the clock on the wall was correct. And Fix had been gone for fifteen minutes. I should probably have worried about him, but I reasoned that Sarissa, daughter of the Unseelie Queen herself and Summer Lady, was probably at least in the same league as Molly when it came to veils and he’d probably be okay. Stars, why was I so tired? My entire body felt heavy, almost like–

I snapped to attention. Almost like when I was wearing the iron stud in my ear. I looked over at Molly and Sarissa and knew something was very wrong. Molly’s face was still a perfect mask but her rigid posture gave her away – she was in pain. A pink flush rose high on her cheeks and though her tone still sounded perfectly confident, she faltered here and there as she spoke. Sarissa looked a little green and her hands gripped the table so hard she was warping the wood. Molly broke off in a cough mid-sentence and Gladlurk started smiling. “My Lady,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “It appears that something is irritating your old wounds. Perhaps we should step outside for a moment.” She met my eyes and I saw realization dawn on her.

“Nonsense.” Grublick gave another toothy grin. “We’re just getting started Ms. Carpenter.”

“Sir…Harry…” She choked out and nodded toward him. She hadn’t needed to. I was already on my feet, blasting rod drawn. _‘Ms. Carpenter.’_ How dare he. She was a Queen. Oh, and also he was trying to poison us. He’d pay for both.

And he did when Fix came back through the door and _snicker-snack_ lopped his head right off with a quick Z motion of his blade. He’d tied what looked like a handkerchief around his face and it caused his voice to come out muffled. “My Lady, we need to go. They’ve got iron powder pumping through the vents.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sarissa’s eyes went wide and she stood up, trying to run and instead collapsing. Molly, still coughing up a storm, caught her and just barely managed to support her weight. Slowly the two of them started toward the door together. Once they were around the table, Fix took hold of Sarissa, helping her out the door. “If we hurry, we might get out before his buddies notice something’s amiss.”

I caught Molly and plodded along behind them, growing impatient. We needed to get out, we needed to move faster. Sarissa started coughing as well and we slowed down to a snail’s pace. I don’t know if it was my natural panic and desire to keep the woman I loved out of danger or if it was the Knight's need to protect the Queen, but I was barely able to stop myself from pushing the Summer Lady and her Knight down the stairs in my haste to get out into the open air. Eventually I just growled, “Molls, hold onto me tight, okay?” She nodded hesitantly, and I shifted her arms around my neck so we were standing chest to chest. “Okay, close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“I’m about to do something stupid and I don’t want you to freak out. Close your eyes.” She did as I asked and I took a deep breath then fell backward over the railing of four flights of rickety metal stairs. I wrapped my body protectively around hers and wrapped my duster and shield protectively around us both. The force of impact still rattled the teeth in my skull and knocked the wind out of me, but we survived it. As soon as I could, I got my feet under me, scooping Molly up in my arms to run out of the building. The sliding door was shut and locked, so I blasted a hole through it. My mantle might have been waning after being exposed to all that iron but I was still a wizard, damn it.

I continued until we were well clear of the building and then I half sat down, half-collapsed in the grass. Molly pushed herself off of me and started getting violently sick. She couldn’t even support herself on all fours, just sort of awkwardly pushed up on her forearms, retching. I rubbed her back, feeling like I needed to do something but not sure of what exactly that something would be. Fix laid Sarissa down nearby. Based on the state of his suit jacket, Molly wasn’t the only one getting sick. He looked a little less than steady on his feet but eyed me warily. “It was a trap.”

“Yeah, I figured that out.” I rasped. Rasped? When had my voice grown hoarse? Not good.

“Fishfucker seemed to be the only one of consequence there, but there were a handful of servitors. I'm sure they have backup nearby to take us out just in case.”

I nodded. “We need to get gone fast. I can open a portal to the Nevernever but I can’t get you straight into Summer lands. Can you navigate the Ways without her being…coherent?”

“Harry…” Fix sounded conflicted like it might have hurt him just to say my name. “We can’t…they’ve got kids in there, man. You were right.” My chest grew tight. We had to save them, of course. Of course. But…I glanced over at my girlfriend, trying not to collapse into a puddle of her own vomit, weak and shaking. I looked at my Lady, my Queen, who was in need of defense now more than ever and medical attention. “I know. Shit. I fucking know.” He said before I even opened my mouth. “I can’t leave her either. But, we can’t just leave those kids.”

I swore. “I’m not as messed up as they are but I’m definitely feeling the effects. I might be able to kill all the servitors or save all their victims but I don’t know if I can do both and still come out alive.”

“I’ll help but…look at them. If someone comes along…” Fix didn’t finish his thought because he was suddenly flung several feet away. Sarissa lowered a shaking hand back to the ground.

“I think they’ll be okay,” I called. “Just to be safe, Molls, can you manage a ve–” Both Ladies disappeared. “Great job. Stay put, I’ll be right back, okay? Stay safe for me.” Fix and I fell into a sprint beside each other, heading back for the building and I was glad I’d been running with Thomas and thankful for the muscle and lung capacity I’d earned as a result.

“So, it’s true then?” He asked casually as if we ran into buildings with toxic air to save tortured kids every day. Which, now that I thought about it, might be what he did every day. Who knows what shenanigans the Summer Knight got up to. “You and Lady Molly?”

“I’ve been around too many fairies to answer a vague question like that,” I replied.

“Rumor is you’re sleeping together. I didn’t believe it but seeing you together…you are, huh?”

“And you’re going to tell me you and Sarissa aren’t?” I was irrationally angry and couldn’t figure out where it had come from. Nothing he’d said had been untrue or unkind even.

“Of course. I live to serve my Lady.” He said it without a trace of irony or bitterness. “I just…when I heard I thought maybe you'd lost control. It didn’t seem like you, especially after everything that went down on Imbolc, but today…” He trailed off and shook his head.

“What?” I asked, entirely too confrontational. “Don't mince words. Spit it out.”

The smaller man frowned, obviously mulling over his words, and the effort brought wrinkles to his dark brow. “Now I think it seems entirely too like you – reckless and foolhardy.” He coughed, and I noticed my own breathing was labored now that we were close to the building. “You called her ‘Molls’, no title, not even her full name. And she didn’t correct you. Makes me think you’ve probably done it before.”

The anger changed to nervous fear in an instant but I tried not to let it show. “Lady Summer keeps you on a tight leash, requires you to call her by her title in the bedroom as well as out?” I cajoled.

“Honestly? Yes. And it wouldn’t even occur to me to do otherwise. And you’re trying to make me angry to change the subject. It won’t work.” We reached the hole in the door where a servitor was waiting for us. I turned him into a fishy popsicle and we continued on without missing a stride. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine but you’re playing with fire, you know that right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I insisted. “If, theoretically, it _was_ true then yes, I would be well aware of the danger of the situation. But some things are worth the danger.” I rolled one shoulder then held my hand aloft, pointed at the Fomor agent barreling his way toward us and let loose with a blast of fire. “Like saving kids from the monsters.”

“Heh.” He chuckled quietly, almost under his breath as he took an arm off one of the turtlenecks nearby with almost careless ease. If I’d never fought with (and occasionally against) him before, I wouldn’t have noticed how he was moving slower than usual, his arms straining harder to wield the weapon and deliver the quick, deadly blows he was normally capable of.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, suspicious. I’d never have thought when I first met Fix that I’d want him as my partner in battle, and now that we were batting for opposing teams he certainly wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I found we worked surprisingly well together. It wasn’t as smooth and effortless as it was with Molly, but we seemed to work naturally in tandem, fighting our way through the warehouse.

“Oh, I was just thinking…it doesn’t seem like that long ago when Lady Molly was the kid we were saving from monsters. Rescued her right from the fortress where she's now a Queen. Funny how so much can change so quickly.”

I ground my teeth and resisted the urge to rearrange his with my fist. “Is it, _Sir_ Fix? Cause I gotta say, I fail to see the humor from–” I grunted, using my blasting rod like a police baton to crack a skull. I was starting to grow tired, my limbs heavy and slow to react. My lungs burned like I was inhaling smoke. “–From where I'm standing.” On cue, I wobbled slightly and steadied myself on a nearby wall.

“Yeah, it's not so funny when you're the one watching your friend disappear.” It wasn’t said as bitterly as it could have been, but it wasn’t without the reminder of how he’d lost Lily, and who had been responsible. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Trust me, all the love in the world isn’t enough to keep her human.”

I jerked away from him, stumbling in the direction of the cages. “Winter doesn’t love, Fix.” I tried to keep my voice empty, hollow, but I couldn't tell how it sounded over the thudding of my own heartbeat. “You’re talking out of your ass right now.”

“Whatever. I'm not blind. It's part of my job to watch you, and I've been watching. My lips are sealed, man. I just wanted to tell you, I’ve been there and it doesn’t end well. Even before everything with Maeve and that island…you’re better off just sticking to the job, keep it impersonal. Be her Knight but don’t bother trying for anything more. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

It was my turn to laugh to myself. “Okay. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.”

“I’m serious. Whatever vibes she’s giving you, whatever she’s telling you, she’s a Queen. You’re never going to be anything to her. It’s just sex. Don’t fool yourself.” I knew he meant it. I knew he was trying to just be a good friend. Honestly, it was more than I deserved from him. And for him, it was probably true. After all, who else but Molly and I would be insane enough to get into a relationship, knowing it would mean a slow, torturous death if Mab knew the truth? But I couldn't help myself – I laughed. Hard. 

I shouldn’t have done it. I mean, it was rude to poor Fix who was giving me the best advice he could from his experience. But also I shouldn't have done it because it made me breathe in deeper, which meant inhaling more of the ferrous air. I started coughing and my stomach somersaulted. Not good. Dried seaweed threatened to make its way back up my throat and I swallowed to keep it down. “Serves you right,” Fix said with a grin, but it sounded like ‘is everything okay?’. I gave a thumbs up and he patted my back and fondly said, “Dick.”

The smiles faded from both of our faces as we came around a shipping crate and saw the row of cages up close. My blood began to boil, power drawn around me in an instant. The first one contained a very small, very still form, a little girl maybe a few years younger than my Maggie. Her breathing was shallow but it was there, which was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind completely. “Hey sweetie, can you hear me?” I knelt in front of her but she showed no response. “Hey, kid?”

“They usually drug them or something. She won't be responsive for hours yet.”

I swore. “Okay, well kid if you can hear me, hang on, I'm getting you out of here.” It was harder to call Winter’s ice to freeze and shatter the lock than it should have been, but it was still quick work. “I'll work on these locks and get them out of here. Can you grab the ones they were experimenting on?” Fix looked like he wanted to argue, maybe just on principle, but he shook himself.

“Yeah. Yell if you run into trouble.” He started off toward the center of the building, stumbled and almost fell, righted himself and carried on. 

“You too!” I called after him, but it was all the time or thought I could spare. If there was a pattern to the people they'd kidnapped, I couldn't see it. Many were children or teens but there were adults as well. Some were fey, but most were human (or at least looked human, I didn’t check too thoroughly.) About halfway down the row, my vision started blurring, doubling. My stomach and ribs ached and my lungs burned. Three cages from the end and I couldn't call enough ice to freeze the lock completely. After a few wasted attempts, I tried feeding my rage and anger and felt what remained of my mantle flare into life around me. I had intended to try the ice again but instead just twisted the lock until it popped. Before I had time to point out to myself that I was barely conscious and with this much iron I shouldn't have been able to do that, I did the same to the last two. Cages unlocked, I stood trying to figure out the best way to get everyone out.

The inhabitants had all been just as out of it as the first little girl, so I’d be getting no help from them in their escape. I probably should have gone for those with fey ancestry first, but I am who I am. I started with the kids. I could manage three at a time for the little ones (one on each shoulder and one in my arms) and I hauled them out and up toward approximately where I thought the Ladies were hiding. I repeated the process a few times and passed Fix doing the same with his victims where he could. He looked about as good as I felt, but neither of us wasted time with words. By the time I'd gotten to the adults, I could only carry one at a time without risking tripping and injuring us both. I had to stop a couple of times to get sick and wished fervently that I'd had something for lunch besides seawater and the dried seaweed. Had I ever felt this sick and weak? Probably, but I couldn't think of a single instance at the time.

I dragged the last prisoner out and I had to focus on each step, reminding myself that the end was in sight and then I'd be able to take Molly and go home and die or something. It sounded almost preferable. I blinked in surprise when I saw the whole rescued group sitting up, slowly shaking off the unnatural sleep. “They'll be okay.” Molly croaked from somewhere on the ground nearby. I practically dropped the man I was carrying in my haste to go to her. “I'm…I'll be fine, too.” She assured me before I could even ask. “Better in the open air. Sarissa is already up and moving.” I followed her line of sight and saw she was right, Sarissa still looked sickly but she was moving amongst the prisoners, waking them and tending to any wounds from the victims Fix had carried.

“We need to get out of here. There aren't any more left in there but they'll send reinforcements. You know they will.” But my body had other plans and I ended up collapsing to my knees in the grass beside Molly. She smiled weakly.

“Both of us called for our own reinforcements. If anything shows up to harm us, they're going to regret it.” She gave a thick, throaty cough that worried me.

“Even so. We need to get you to a doctor.” I collapsed forward unexpectedly, and it felt so good I embraced it, stretching out on my stomach, one cheek pressed into the grass so I could look over at Molly.

“I’ll be okay.” She assured me and reached out a hand to touch my cheek. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yep. Just needed to lie down. Gimme a minute and I’ll get us out of here.” I closed my eyes.

She laughed softly. “Yeah, okay, whatever you say, Harry.” I felt her fingers brush my hair back from my face.

“Is Fix up and moving too, or is Sarissa the only one who’s impervious?”

“He’s not…” I felt Molly tense before raising her voice. “Lady Summer, where is your Knight?”

“I don’t know. He’s….” Sarissa started before trailing off. There was just a note of fear in her otherwise perfectly calm voice when she said, “He must still be inside.”

I groaned aloud. I couldn’t help it. “Harry, are you okay?” Molly asked, instantly alarmed as I started to move.

“No,” I growled, bringing myself back to my knees and making sure I was steady there before I kept going.

“Just lay down, we’ll be okay for a few minutes.”

“Yeah,” I sighed “But Fix won’t. When the iron stops my mantle, I’m left a sickly wizard. When it stops his mantle, he’s a sickly, I’m guessing Brownie? Some kind of fey.” I saw the look of realization dawn on her and nodded. “I gotta go get him.” I wobbled when I stood but like a Weeble, I didn’t fall down.

“You’d do that?” Sarissa asked, suddenly beside us.

“He’d do the same for me.” I shrugged.

“Harry, you can’t go back in there. You’re barely standing.” Molly protested.

“Is that an order, my Lady?” I asked carefully.

“I can make it one if I have to.”

“No!” Sarissa cried. “No, please, Molly.” The two girls locked eyes, staring at each other and if I hadn't known better I’d have thought they were soulgazing. After a long moment, Sarissa turned and before I could stop it, she'd kissed me full on the lips. I started to protest but from that simple kiss, life flooded through my body. It was as if I was a flower, blooming in the bright spring sun, my tired limbs suddenly reborn, recharged, and my head was clear. She pulled back and I stared at her in shock. “I don't know how long it will last given that you are a creature of Winter now and that your body is filled with iron, so make the most of it while you can and please bring Fix back to me safely.”

“Bring both of you back safely,” Molly added. “And that _is_ an order.”

I took off, feeling lighter than possible and at least ten years younger. I hardly needed to exert myself to cross the distance back to the warehouse. For not the first time, I thought I took up with the wrong damn Court. My power restored, I didn’t bother weaving around the walls of shipping containers, I just vaulted on top of the closest one and ran along the tops. “Fix!” I bellowed. “Where are you? Hiding from all the hard work?” I Listened, which is the only reason I heard him faintly calling my name from the far corner. “Hang on. I'm on my way.” I leaped from crate to crate (“parkour!”) and landed on the ground beside him. “No offense buddy, but you look like hell.”

Fix was pale, which was quite a feat for him, and had obviously been sick like the rest of us but he was also sitting in a pool of his own blood and missing a few chunks of his body – a hole in his cheek, a chunk out of his left side, another from his left thigh. I didn't want to think about how much pain he had to be in, especially without his mantle to block it. “At least. I don't. Look. Like you.” He gasped between wheezing breaths. I laughed despite myself. “You here. To help. Or to. Finish me?”

It took me a second to realize he wasn’t joking, and that killed the laughter in my throat. What’s worse is my first thought wasn’t ‘obviously I’m not going to finish him off, he’s a friend’ it was ‘Damn the Winter Lady for interfering with the natural order and ordering me to bring us both back safely. He’s weak. I _should_ crush him now.’ I shook my head, banishing the thought. “If I’m gonna kick your ass, it’ll be in a fair fight. I don’t want the Fomor’s sloppy seconds. Can you stand?”

“Not on my own.” He seemed more pained to admit it than he did by the wounds. I offered him a hand and he took it warily, letting me pull him up. I pretended not to notice the almost inhuman scream he made when he tried to put weight on his injured leg, and instead just draped his arm across my shoulders so he was half-leaning on me, half being carried.

“Is there anyone else left in here?” I asked. We had to move slowly and I could already feel Summer’s kiss draining out of me. I wouldn’t be able to make a second trip back in here. Thankfully, Fix shook his head.

“Got the last of them out,” He coughed and spat out what looked like blood. “Killed the last bastard, but not before he got me with one of those urchin grenades they use. Came back to see what was in the crates, in case we needed to dispose of them.”

“Do we?” I asked.

“Probably. Weapons and…” He coughed again. “I think ritual items. But you’re the expert.”

“I’m not stopping to investigate, I’ll take your word for it. Plus, anything these guys want has got to be bad news. I’ll get you out and take care of it.” By this point, there was a fine dust of iron covering everything and I moved as carefully as I could to minimize stirring up a cloud of it.

“I’m not sure I’m making it, Harry.” Fix said quietly. “I can’t see straight.”

“Don’t be stupid, you’ll be fine.” I hefted him up higher, so I’d be supporting more of his weight.

“Mm. Typical Winter. Always lying.” He mumbled, speech garbled.

“Typical Summer. Distrustful even when I’m saving your ass.” He smiled, but it must have cost him too much effort because his good leg buckled and he started collapsing to the floor.

“I’m starting to black out. Just leave me here.”

“Is your entire Court filled with drama queens or is it just you?” I rolled my eyes, and despite his protests of both pain and embarrassment I scooped him up in both arms and started running toward the general direction of the exit.

“I can’t believe I’m going to die being carried off like I’m your blushing bride.” Fix growled between yowls of pain while he was jostled and moved and coughing fits. “Don’t tell Sarissa.”

“Oh, she’s Sarissa now. I omit titles and I’m in love, but you can do it? Hypocrite.” He didn’t respond and I looked down to see his eyes were closed. “Hey!” His eyes snapped open. “Stay with me. We’re almost outside. Lady Sarissa will be able to heal you, we just need to make it there.”

“I’m tired.” He said, and it carried a weight to it that I understood.

“That’s fine. You can rest when we get outside. For now, you need to stay awake.” Even as I said it he started to close his eyes again. I said the only thing I could think of that might keep him alert. “Hey Fix, you were right earlier. About me and Molly? Righter than you know.”

That drew a hint of a smile. “Knew it. Always a sucker for a pretty face. ‘Mm sorry. Sucks.”

“Nah, you’ve got it wrong.” It was a lot of trust to put in someone who was essentially my mortal enemy, but he was a friend first and I was hoping that giving him the ‘surprise!’ kind of shock might keep him from going into the ‘he’s crashing!’ kind of shock. “Me and Molls? It’s a mutual thing. Not just sex, love.”

He snorted. “Winter doesn’t do love.”

“And yet, the White Court burns at our touch.”

“Well shit.” Mission accomplished – his eyes were wide and he didn’t look anywhere close to closing them anytime soon. A distraction from the pain probably wasn’t hurting either. “Can’t believe Queen Bitch is okay with that.”

“Yeah, about that. I’m going to need you to keep this between us because she _doesn’t_ know. I mean, she knows we, uh…”

“Fuck?” Fix supplied.

“Right. But not…she thinks I’m just doing my job. And I didn’t even know it _was_ my job until I’d already been doing it for a couple of months.” I paused, starting to get a little woozy. The Summer magic was wearing off now, and while carrying Fix wasn’t difficult, I was very aware of his weight and it was starting to slow me down. Thankfully the door was within sight.

“Can't ever tell if you’re brave or just stupid.” He wheezed.

“Join the club.” I wanted to keep him talking but my own breathing was becoming difficult now, my arms and legs started to burn with effort, and I just didn't have the capacity to keep moving and still lead a conversation. Turns out I didn't need to.

“Wish I'd been braver.” His look was wistful. “Or stupider. Whichever. Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“When you find a way to save ‘er, lemme know?”

_When_ not _if_. It was nice to know everyone else had so much faith in my ability to do the impossible. “If I ever do, I will.” We made it into the fresh air and both of us took a deep breath. With my last burst of energy, I sprinted over to the Ladies and the assembled former-prisoners. I tried to gently lay Fix down on his back in the grass, but one of my knees buckled and I very unhelpfully collapsed on top of him. After a bit of effort from us both, we got settled side by side in the grass, just drinking in the spring air, sunlight, and cool breeze. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

“Mm?” Fix murmured. Sarissa and Molly were both currently occupied with the human victims, talking softly to them. Probably trying to smooth things over. I sat up enough to be able to see the warehouse. I would have preferred my staff, but we'd “agreed” that it would be too confrontational and we were determined not to start the fight. My blasting rod was too short-ranged. I'd have to just do this one on my own.

I had very little energy to fuel the spell so I drew on other things – on the last little bits of Summer magic in my skin, on my anger at the Fomor for their (admittedly expected) betrayal and for kidnapping and torturing innocent people, on the feeling of comradery I felt between Fix and me in that moment and the fierce pride I felt in us both for saving the day together, on the feeling of sunlight on my bare skin which would now and forever bring the distant memory of a babbling brook and a meadow where my love and I had shared ourselves with each other – I took all of my emotions and drew from that place within that would lend me soulfire. I raised my hand and said, “Fuego.” No yelling, no theatrics, I didn't have the energy for it. But the beam of blue and white flames, almost like a laser, that shot from my palm was brighter and hotter than I'd conjured on my best day. It struck the warehouse and it felt like everything froze for a second before the building just exploded in a fury of light and sound. 

“Mother's breath Harry, you don't do anything halfway do you?” Fix asked with a laugh. I collapsed backward and closed my eyes, smiling as well. My fingers, face, and toes were cold and numb. Not a good sign but I knew the cure, and since I heard Molly say my name in the distance, I knew it wasn't too far away. 

“Hey Fix. If the Queen finds out about us and tries to give me the Lloyd Slate treatment, would you come put me out of my misery?”

“We’re contractually obligated to kill each other.” His words were less fuzzy already, which I took as a good sign. “It wouldn't be my pleasure, but it would be my honor. Yes. I owe you that much.”

Something shifted in my chest, a weight I hadn't known was there until I’d given voice to my question dissipated. “Thank you.”

“I know you would do the same for me if the situation were ever reversed.” He said simply as if it were a universal truth. I considered and decided that, yeah, I probably would and just nodded. 

“Harry Dresden, do you know you are the world's biggest idiot!?” Molly asked, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressing my head against her chest. “No foci, half-dead from exhaustion and poisoning and you don't just burn a building down, you explode it, with soulfire? Your hands are freezing! What did you…” It went on like that at great length, with insults and lecturing and hugging and the whole while I just smiled softly because I knew what she was really saying – _you scared me, I don’t want to lose you, I love you._ What surprised me was when she finally worked herself up so badly that she started crying and pressed her lips to mine, right there, with a bunch of confused onlookers, and with the Summer Lady and Summer Knight beside us.

After a moment she seemed to remember herself but the damage was already done. I saw panic in her eyes and cleared my throat. “Thank you, My Lady, for favoring me with a kiss. I feel my energy returning already. And Lady Sarissa, I am remiss, thank you for the same favor earlier. I have truly been blessed this day.”

Sarissa gave me a knowing look, clearly not believing the fiction I was spinning, but she inclined her head anyway. “It was a small price to pay for the return of my Knight. Truly, I owe you a favor, not the other way around.”

I blinked. It wasn’t every day a Queen of Faerie told you she owed you a favor. I glanced at Molly who nodded ever so slightly. “As you say, Lady Summer. I would bow but I’m not sure that I can yet move again.”

Sarissa gave a tinkling laugh, like the trill of some distant songbird. “That’s quite alright, Sir Dresden.” She clapped her hands and I saw for the first time that they were bloody. I guessed she’d been tending to Fix’s wounds. “Let’s get out of this place. The mortal authorities are bound to be here soon after an explosion like that. Lady Molly, it’s been uh, exciting to see you, as always. We must do it again sometime.”

“Must we?” Molly asked, but her eyes were sparkling and it made Sarissa laugh.

“Yes. We literally must and you know it.” She surprised Fix and I both by embracing her Winter counterpart. “Hopefully less iron and vomiting and blood next time, though.”

“Now there’s something we can agree on. If all your suggestions were that good, maybe we could have peace between our Courts.” Sarissa just laughed again, taking Fix’s arm.

We all went back to our respective Courts, leaving the humans behind. Molly, not quite meeting my eyes as she spoke, let me know that they were all under the impression that they’d been kidnapped by domestic terrorists but had escaped just before the building blew. I probably should have lectured her about using mind magic, especially given her past, and made sure she was aware that just because the Council couldn't behead us for it now, didn't mean it wasn't morally wrong. But I understood. Those people had gone through horrors they couldn't cope with. Molly had, in some ways, given them the gift of a false set of events that were more believable for them. 

She left me in the medical bay to go report to Mab. The “doctor” (in the loosest definition of the word) declared that I had iron poisoning and severe exhaustion which, duh, I already knew that. He told me to expect to feel sickly and weak for a few days, but since I was human he didn't feel the need to do any additional treatment, just let it take its course. When Molly returned, I was sent away despite Molly’s protests that she'd feel better with me there. I tried to find my old lair, but when I got to where I thought it should be the door was locked, warded with a magic not my own. Either I'd forgotten the way to my lair or Mab had given it to someone else, both of which seemed possible. It was a mystery I didn’t really care about solving so I circled back and just waited patiently in Molly’s sitting room for her.

She looked in worse shape upon her return than she did when I left her. Apparently, the iron poisoning had been more severe for her since she was sidhe, which wasn’t surprising, and because of the damage the piercings and, more importantly, the iron dagger had done to her months ago. The medic had given her potions that were supposed to draw the iron out of her body but it wasn't an overnight process and she could expect to feel weak and sick for at least a couple of weeks. Molly was pissed, but since there wasn't really anything we could do about it, we went home.


	4. Chapter 4

The medic had been more or less correct for me. I felt like shit for a few days but otherwise was back to my regular, Winter-Knighty self. He had not been so accurate about Molly, much to her disgruntlement. It had been almost a month since the Fomor had tried to kill us, and while the worst of the symptoms had abated, Molly was still sick and miserable. The poison had brought back her coughing fits for the first few weeks but they’d stopped now and she was no longer tender on her side where her scar was. Her mantle was back and it somehow seemed stronger than before she was injured. She had to be more careful of her moods than ever. Maggie had come home with a story about a disparaging remark her teacher had made, and it started hailing in our living room.

It was more noticeable when we were on missions. We weren’t quite in outright war with the Fomor, but I found that a lot of what Mab sent us to do focused on, incidentally, disrupting their plans. As a result, almost every mission saw us in combat. That was where her increased power really shone. A flick of her wrist had icicles the size of my leg flying at someone, she could scream out an arctic gale, freeze a man’s body so that he couldn’t move but his heart still beat, his lips still moved. She had a greater finesse and seemed more…inspired? In her creative use of it. I’d never say it to her face but it was fucking terrifying.

The downside was that she burned out quicker. Perhaps it was that she was using more power, or just a symptom of her ongoing recovery but she’d go all out in battle and then curl up and fall asleep the moment we got home. I’d gone to talk to the Winter Court’s doctor and he said the “couple of weeks” was just an estimate. They’d never treated a full human with a Queen’s mantle before and they’d never seen someone poisoned in that exact way, so they didn’t really know what to expect. The fact that she was improving, in general, seemed good enough for him. It was decidedly not for Molly, who steadfastly refused my suggestions that maybe a few days of bed rest would be good, or maybe she should go see a different doctor (One with an actual medical degree of some kind? Who hadn’t last studied medicine when leeches were used to align your humors?) or at least to take it slower and let me do the slaying and ass-kicking. No, she seemed determined that if she acted as though she were in perfect health, she somehow would be.

“I’m not saying you’re not stronger,” I said, for probably the tenth time in the last month. “Hell, I think you’re stronger now than you ever were, even on your best day. I just think you’re overworking yourself.”

She laid in bed fully clothed, shoes still on, scowling at the ceiling while I got undressed. “Thanks, Charity.” She sneered. “I’m the Winter Lady. I’m not overworking. I’m just working. You worry too much.”

“Hmm. Okay. So you’re collapsed on the bed because you chose to do so?”

“Of course.” She snapped.

“And are you just going to sleep in your clothes, or are you going to actually take them off?”

“I’ll sleep in whatever I want. What business is it of yours?”

I didn’t let her see how startled I was to hear the ringing tones of the Winter Lady in her voice. “Just wondering if you’d like help taking off your shoes or anything before I get comfortable. Not that you would need it, of course. I know you’re perfectly capable.”

She glared at me for a long moment and I avoided direct eye contact. I’d found it was always easier to not meet the Lady’s eyes since she saw that as a challenge to her authority. The glare alone was enough to chill me to the bone, and not just metaphorically. I stayed still, hovering near where her feet dangled from the end of the bed but not moving any closer until she said otherwise. Finally, she let out an explosive breath and some of the tension left the room. “Yes, please.” She mumbled, all regular Molly again. “I’m sorry, I’m just so sick and tired of, y’know, being sick and tired.”

“I know.” I kept my face neutral. Just because she sounded fine now didn't mean we were out of the woods yet. I undid the buckles on her high-heeled sandals and after sliding them off, I started rubbing her feet. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Mm. _This_ is pretty great.” She closed her eyes, smiling slightly. “I don't deserve you.”

“True.” I started working my way up her calves and she groaned. “No one deserves to be saddled with me, but here we are.”

“Idiot.” She said fondly. Molly laid quiet and still, only making small noises or movements as my hands crawled slowly up her body. When I got to the waistband of her skirt and started pulling it down, she obliged by lifting her hips until I could remove it. When I started to do the same with her undergarments she arched one pure white eyebrow at me. “I normally sleep with those on.”

“I can put them back on you when I'm done if you'd like.” I kept a straight face and she continued staring at me in mild amusement and disbelief. “Think of it as holistic medicine.”

She laughed and lifted her hips off the bed again so I could strip her naked to the waist. I traced a line of open-mouthed kisses from her ankle all the way up to her inner thigh. Between her recovery, our increasingly frequent missions and raising Maggie, we hadn’t been intimate as often lately as we used to but it wasn’t for lack of desire. Now that we had a moment, I knew she would have gone along with anything I instigated, but she didn't look like she had much energy left in her. She was Molly, so she’d never have said anything and she'd have gladly exhausted herself completely, letting me do anything I wanted with her and goading me on the whole time. And as tempting as a session of sweaty, passionate, rolling around in the sheets sounded, tonight more than anything I just wanted Molly to feel good.

I think her gasp was as much surprise as pleasure when I ran my tongue over more sensitive areas. “Holistic you say?” She spread her legs wider to make room for me.

“Mhm.” I agreed with another stroke of my tongue. I’m sure it sounded silly but she wasn’t laughing. She huffed out a breath and I smiled, working my mouth and tongue for all they were worth. In short order, one of her hands was fisted in the sheets, a knuckle of the other stuffed between her teeth, muffling her cries. Her hips flexed up off the bed as her climax took her, then she collapsed back against her pillows, eyes closed, grinning ear to ear. I helped her out of her shirt, then guided her over onto her side so I could unfasten her bra.

“Thank you.” She murmured as I climbed into bed next to her. “Needed that.”

“I thought you might,” I told her, snuggling in behind her. She wiggled back against me, her ass pressed against my groin, and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me.

“What's so funny?” Molly asked around a yawn.

I put my arm around her, fingers resting lightly against her bare stomach. “I just remembered the first night we spent together. Before we were really together. You remember?”

“Of course. How could I forget it?” I could hear her smile. “That was really a dumb idea. I mean, it worked out but, what were we thinking?”

“If I had to guess, you were thinking ‘won't it be disappointing if after all this time he's actually a terrible lay’?”

She smacked my arm playfully. “What about you? I bet you were laying there like ‘I can maybe take retired Michael in a fight but Charity’s still got that mean right hook. Is it worth it?’”

“That's…pretty accurate. Yeah.” I admitted and we both laughed again. “But mostly I remember how hard I had to fight to keep from touching you, how nervous I was that I'd mess things up, ruin our friendship, make things worse for you.”

“I was worried that I'd lose control and murder you. And fighting a losing battle about whether or not it was worth the risk. I mean, I'd waited so long to get you in bed…”

“What changed your mind?” I asked

“Mm. I figured out that Sarissa was sleeping with Fix. I talked to Lea to be sure. Or as sure as I could be. I would have been more…cautious about it. Taken precautions in case I'd been wrong. But _somebody_ jumped the gun on that plan.”

“Even I have my limits on willpower.” I kissed her neck because it was the closest I could reach to her face without moving and I really didn't want to move. I felt her shiver.

“Speaking of. You're all settled in for bed. Don't you want me to reciprocate?” She scooted back against me pointedly.

I kissed her again. “Molls, you are half asleep as we speak. You look like you couldn't move if you wanted to.”

“That's not what I asked.”

“Not tonight, no. I know, I know, everything must be balanced. There's time for that later.” I headed off the objection I could tell was forming on her lips. “Tonight I just want to hold you and fall asleep next to you like we did that first night together, but this time knowing exactly how we feel about each other.”

Molly trapped my arm against her body with her own, twining her fingers with mine. “This is so much more comfortable.” She nuzzled her pillow gently, sinking further into sleep-mode. “Could you have guessed that night that we'd be here? Maggie asleep downstairs. Us cuddled in bed. Our happy little family.”

I buried my face in her hair, kissing her head and blinking my suddenly watery eyes. “No, I couldn’t have guessed. This life is more than I could have ever hoped for. I love you.”

“I love you too, Harry.” She murmured happily, and with that, we both drifted off to sleep.

Happy Molly lasted through the night, even through the early-morning cell phone call letting her know that she needed to travel to D.C. to meet with Sarissa and an assortment of human political leaders to address their overtures toward becoming an accorded entity. I didn’t personally know that the U.S. government was savvy enough to the supernatural world to want in, and wasn’t sure how it would play out if they made a bid for all of the U.S., given Marcone’s pre-existing claim on Chicago, but Molly hadn’t seemed surprised or worried at all. “They won't find the backers, for one. Every accorded entity is aware that it's a bad idea to bring mortal politics into our politics, and if we let one country in we'd have to start letting others in and then their petty politics would interfere with our long game.”

“Which is?”

“Different for every entity.” She waved a hand dismissively and I couldn't help but notice that she had completely avoided anything resembling a useful response. “And even if anyone was foolish enough to ignore the political ramifications, most of them don't view humans as more than children…or livestock depending on the group, I guess. Marcone becoming Baron was a fluke, only possible because, well, you got involved.” The smile she flashed me as she put up her hair, all piled into one tight bun atop her head, was full of warmth and what looked like pride. Absurdly, I stood a little straighter.

She looked like someone’s secretary from a porno and I was sure that's what she was going for. The tight bun was made up of her “natural” blonde hair that I liked so much, and it emphasized her round, high cheeks. Her eyes looked even brighter blue than usual and I wasn’t sure if it was just the grey of her suit jacket bringing it out or if she hadn’t bothered to hide them with her glamour. Not that it mattered, since no red-blooded male would be able to tell you what color her eyes were with the cut of her shirt. It was made of elaborate blue lace, thick enough to leave some mystery but thin enough to let you know that she wasn't wearing anything under it. Her breasts surged out of it like luscious cream mountains and you didn't need my experience to know that the fabric only needed to give the smallest bit before you'd be able to see the start of her rosy pink nipples. She had knotted the chain to her snowflake so that it sat higher up and didn’t obscure the view. Since I’d watched her put it on, I knew the lace top left her midriff bare but with the two buttons on her jacket done up, you couldn't tell. The tight pencil skirt matched the jacket and had a light ruffle of cream-colored lace along the bottom and it stopped just above her knees. 

“How do I look?” It was mostly rhetorical, she knew how she looked and there was nothing in my gaze to make her doubt how I felt about it. But sometimes knowing something isn't the same as hearing it out loud.

“Like I should find a desk so I can bend you over it, hike up that skirt and fuck you so hard your tidy little bun comes spilling down.”

She blushed, but I suspected it was practicing her glamour more than actual embarrassment. It was all part of the show. “Why Mr. Dresden! I can't believe you would suggest such a thing, sir.”

I made an involuntary noise low in my throat and she laughed, making that lace work to keep her ample cleavage contained. She rooted around in a drawer and came up with another prop. “Oh, come on now.” I protested, as she slid the thick glasses that she hadn’t needed at any point before and certainly didn't need now, onto her face. “That's too much. You're just wearing a costume at this point.”

Molly gave me a crooked smile. “Yes, that's part of my job. Every time I leave the house I'm wearing a costume, it just depends on what I need to be that day.” She stood up and started digging in the closet until she found what she was looking for. “Put this on.” She tossed a shirt back at me and I knew better than to argue. “This isn't my first time meeting with this delegation. We have to play to their weaknesses. Sarissa will already have the ‘I'm so young and innocent, of course I'll meet you in your office later for a private conversation, what could go wrong?’ vibe down. She's better at it than I am. I'm better with the ‘I know exactly what you want, and I'm going to make you work for it’ act.”

Privately I thought she was pretty damn good at both. “I've never found that you need glasses for that.” I had expected the shirt to be another button-down but was surprised to find it was cotton, a light grey that matched her outfit.

“The glasses make me look smarter. No, stop, before you say anything. I know I’m smart. You know I’m smart. They know from experience that I’m smart. But subconsciously the human mind associates glasses with intelligence and when I’m working this hard to look sexy I’ve found that most men need a visual reminder that I’m also an intelligent, shrewd, cut-throat bitch.” She shrugged. “It helps me maintain power without having to actually use my power.”

“Sometimes I can’t tell how much of this scary calculation is Winter Lady and how much is just you.” I looked down at the shirt, frowning. It had just enough sleeve to it to be considered a t-shirt in the broadest of terms, and a deep v neck that belonged on a man twenty years my junior and with twice as many hours clocked at the gym. “What is this?”

“Your costume. Leave your duster. I copied the enchantments from it onto your shirt, so you're just as protected and you'll be less conspicuous.”

I frowned harder. “I like the duster, Molls.”

“Your point?” Her eyes had gone flinty behind the glasses and suddenly they didn't look silly at all.

“I'm just not sure why you'd want me to leave it. It’s an expected part of my attire, it's how people know who I am before I even talk.”

“And today, you are the Winter Knight. You are your title before all else.” There was that note of duality to her voice, a faint echo making it clear who was speaking in case the words weren't enough. “Do not forget it.”

I bowed my head. “Yes, my lady.” The cotton of the shirt was impossibly soft and I made a mental note to ask her if they made shirts in this fabric but in a less douchey style when she was in a better mood. “May I ask a question?” She rolled her hand in a ‘go on.’ gesture. “Why do you want me in this particular attire? What is my costume, my role in this play?”

I'm not sure if it was comforting or terrifying that the grin that met me was 100% Molly’s. “Well Harry, there's only so much Sarissa and I can do. Some men are more of a man's man, you know?”

And so it was that I sat in a board room somewhere in our nation’s capital, as little more than another one of Molly’s accessories, one of the many weapons in an arsenal that was no less devastating than if she’d used lethal force. I was given to understand that the assortment of men (and _only_ men, which made me question how much they could possibly know about the nature of the women they were meeting with) were representatives of the various branches of government who also served in a secret department for supernatural affairs. As Molly had said, they wanted to establish the U.S. government as an accorded nation and wanted the support of either or both Courts to do so. The Ladies were more than happy to encourage the idea that their support might be forthcoming (without ever promising anything, of course) if only they could convince Queen Mab and Titania. What could be done to help convince them? Oh, perhaps a show of commitment to keeping the peace, maybe in the form of stopping any movements by Fomor operatives?

It was like being an extra in a perfectly executed play. Sarissa and Molly played to their enemies’ weaknesses and I had to begrudgingly admit that her over-the-top outfit really did work. She wasn’t afraid to flaunt me either. She made a point of telling stories of our encounters that highlighted my prowess in battle, painting me as a great warrior among men and her hand on my arm made it clear that I was hers to command. There was one man, in particular, an older ex-military type from the looks of him, who she was pointing me at. He was perfectly masculine, macho, tough in that way that a lot of men who would never admit they're compensating for something are.

You wouldn't have guessed it at first glance, but after a few minutes, it was easy to see what he felt the need to compensate for. He watched Molly’s fingers caress the bare skin of my upper arm like it was a sex act. She wielded me against him expertly. “My Knight, could you lift the table? One of the legs is unstable.” and “Sir Dresden, I've dropped my pen, could you retrieve it for me?” My favorite moment was an exchange that started with, “My Knight, could you remind me, whatever happened to Lord Tenebris?” I racked my brain to put a face to a name. “The Fomor sorcerer we encountered outside of Quinto when we were rebuilding the road?”

Ah yes. He wasn't worth a name in my memory but I definitely remembered him. We'd been sent on a mission to Ecuador and ‘just happened’ to foil a Fomor plot while we were at it. “Was he the one who sent his goons to hit you with a car?” I knew he was.

“Yes, I believe he was.” Lady Winter purred.

“I hit him with his car and he died,” I said in a voice devoid of any emotion. Her smile grew a little harder, more satisfied, and I had to fight not to smile in return.

She gave me her prettiest frown. “Strange, I don't recall him being run over.”

I let myself smile that time, a wide toothy grin. “He wasn't, My Lady. As I said I hit him. With his car. Repeatedly. Until he was crushed beyond repair and died. And a few times after that for good measure.”

Macho Man leaned slightly closer to me across the table. “Are you trying to tell us that you bludgeoned a man to death using his own car like a club?”

“Nope,” I leaned back in my chair. “A man wouldn't send his goons to do his dirty work, and he certainly wouldn't use a car to try to kill a fine young lady on a mission of peace. I'm telling you I bludgeoned a monster to death using his own car. More like a brick than a club, really. Not a whole lot of finesse to it.”

“Bullshit.” He sneered. “I’ve read your file. You can do crazy shit, but you’re not fucking Superman.”

I glanced sidelong at Molly and she nodded imperceptibly, which was all the approval I needed to have some fun. I stood up, hopped on top of the table, grabbed Macho by the throat and pinned him to the wall behind him in half a heartbeat. “You’re right. I’m not fucking Superman.” I growled. “I’m the goddamn Winter Knight. Call me a liar again and I’ll show you exactly what I’m capable of, sweetheart.”

“Lady Winter,” Sarissa said, a note of trepidation in a far too innocent voice for someone who was raised in Winter’s court. “Kindly call off your dog before he ruins all the good work we’ve done today.”

Molly smirked at her. “Lady Summer, you’re just jealous that mine has the bite to go with his bark, and the balls to use it.” She sounded so much like Maeve for a moment that I think Sarissa had the same second or two of surprise that I did. Lady Molly rolled her eyes. “Very well. Sir Dresden, play nice with the mortals. Come. Sit.” She gestured at my chair. I let Macho go and followed her command, not bothering to hide the very real anger and disdain for being talked about and treated like a dog. “Maybe I should sit on your lap, just to prevent any further violent outbursts.”

“Whatever my lady desires.” I intoned, seething aloud with every word. “I live to serve.”

She gave a rich, bubbling laugh that put her lace top through the paces and slid her way onto my lap, worming one arm around my neck. She leaned her head back on my shoulder to whisper, “You’re doing a great job. Don’t take it personally. I’ll make up for it later.”

“Is that a promise?” I rumbled back.

“You know I can’t lie.” Sarissa cleared her throat pointedly and Molly gave her another smirk. “Yes, alright miss priss. Let’s continue. Where were we, gentlemen? Oh yes, so you can see how these Fomor operatives have been terrorizing civilians worldwide….”

The conversation went on for another hour or so, with negotiations of what the U.S. government would do to prove their commitment to Faerie, with the Ladies assuring that they would pass on the message of how cooperative these fine men were to their Queens. And of course, other players in the supernatural world would take notice. In the end, we received a promise for “tighter security measures” for anyone known to be connected with the Fomor and assurances that they would stop any shipments they could. In exchange, we’d pass along any Fomor intel we gathered as we gathered it (which I later found out was something we were already doing by ‘accidentally’ leaking information to the right people and places, and Mab would be really pleased to save time and effort with an official exchange) and of course we’d continue to give our recommendations to the Queens regarding a potential addition to the Accorded nations.

It was late afternoon when we finally broke. Molly and Sarissa avoided the swarm of men that suddenly surrounded them both by pleading that they needed to use the facilities, and Fix and I both loomed (one of us significantly more so than the other) behind them to make it clear that what our Ladies needed, they would have. They said their farewells and we escorted them to the women’s restroom, standing outside like the dutiful bodyguards we were. “She doesn’t really think I’m all bark and no bite, does she?” Fix finally asked, quiet but irritated.

“I can’t see how she would. I’m sure she remembers the night Maeve died at least as well as you and I do. Don’t take it personally. Most of its an act, for both of them I’m sure.”

“Yeah well, that’s how it starts. But if you pretend to be something long enough, eventually you forget you’re pretending.” He shook himself like he’d felt a chill. “Well, whatever. S’long as _you_ know I can take you in a fight.” He was smiling when he said it.

“Psh. Maybe if you drugged me and tied me up first.”

“Far be it from me to criticize a man’s fetishes, but you’re not my type, buddy.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can guess what your type is,” I said with a pointed leer as Sarissa exited the bathroom and approached us.

“I can be anyone’s type, as I’m sure you are well aware, Harry.” She said, giving us both a half-chiding, half-amused look. It faded when she stood in front of us and she dropped her voice to barely a whisper. “Has Molly truly been ill since the poisoning?” She must have seen the conflict on my face between wanting to be honest with a friend and not wanting to show weakness to an enemy. There was no mistaking that Fix and Sarissa were both. “She’s currently getting sick, and said that she’s fine, it’s just that she’s still recovering.”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Better than she was but still not well. Sometimes she’s so nauseous she can’t eat. Her power keeps fluctuating. One minute she's a one-woman blizzard, the next she's exhausted and weak. Last night we came home from a routine mission and she probably would have passed out fully dressed with her shoes on if I hadn’t…” A flush crept up my cheeks and I cleared my throat. “Helped her undress.”

“I’ll bet you did.” Fix smirked and Sarissa elbowed him in the ribs.

“Has she seen a physician?” She asked me, her face solemn.

“The Court medic originally said a week or two. She won’t go back to him because she insists everything is fine and when I described her symptoms to him a few days ago he said since she was born pure mortal and…” I hesitated then added. “And since she had received a fairly severe injury involving iron back in December that it might take longer for her to heal. It _is_ better than it was but…”

“But you’d like her to see a real doctor to be sure.” Sarissa nodded. “Perhaps we could persuade her to visit us. I know what passes for healing in my mother’s court and I can very confidently say that ours are much more competent.”

“Would we be safe there?”

Sarissa and Fix shared a look. “Lady Molly should be perfectly safe. No one in their right mind would risk the wrath of either Queen, especially if she was in my company. However…” She looked at Fix.

“If you step foot into Summer territory when you’re not part of an official delegation I’m obligated to try to kill you for trespassing. If for no other reason than to save face in front of my Court.”

“Even with your Lady’s permission?” They shared another look. “Ah, right. If you give me permission it would piss off dear old Auntie and while you’re willing to help, you’re not _that_ willing. I understand. Maybe we could find an excuse for an official visit, or–”

“Some would consider whispering to the enemy about my weaknesses and plotting to have me dragged onto their lands as treason, Sir Knight.” The Winter Lady stood in the doorway to the restroom, on a rapidly spreading patch of ice that had not been there a moment ago.

“No one was plotting to drag you anywhere.” I protested. “And it certainly wasn’t treason. You’re obviously still ill, and Lady Sarissa was concerned. That’s–” I was going to say ‘all’ but she cut me off.

“Silence. I’ll decide what is and isn’t treason.” She snapped. “Lady Summer, I appreciate your concern but as I stated earlier, I will be fine. Now, I’ll be taking my Knight and reporting to my Queen. I suggest you do the same.”

Sarissa sighed. “Of course, Lady Molly. Take care.”

Without another word, Molly dragged me through a portal into Winter territory and then we flashed through a series of rifts so fast my head spun until we were standing in her rooms in Arctis Tor. She threw me away hard enough that I actually hit the floor and lay there for a moment. She’d commanded me to silence so I couldn’t respond verbally but I leveled a stony glare at her, my teeth bared in defiance. “Oh, you want to snarl at me, Dresden? After what I just walked in on? You should be on your knees apologizing right now.” I couldn't actually say ‘How would I even do that when you ordered me not to talk?’ or ‘If you’re waiting for an apology you better not hold your breath’ but she knew me well enough to read my expression. “Very well. Apologize.”

I fixed her with a hard look and with as much sarcasm as I could muster said, “So sorry, your majesty.” In a flash she was behind me with her fist knotted in my hair, jerking my head back to look up at her.

“Why don’t I believe you, my Knight?” Her overly saccharine voice sounded so much like Mab that I shivered. I couldn’t help it. At that moment I was afraid of Molly and what she might do. So, of course, I did what I always do when I'm scared – got snarky.

“Because you may be crazy, but you're not stupid.”

“Crazy?” She asked in a shrill tone that really only emphasized my point. She tightened her grip. “I find you plotting with the Summer Knight and the Summer Lady within easy earshot of your own Queen, and you're trying to paint _me_ as crazy?”

“Honey, you don't need my help. You’re painting a masterpiece all on your own.” My breath was fogging in the air as I spoke, the carpet beneath me covered in hoarfrost. “You can order me to apologize or to tell you what you want to hear but you can't make me mean it. No one was plotting against you and if you calmed down and thought about this for a second you'd realize that.”

She pulled me up by my hair until I was standing hunched before her. “I know perfectly well what I heard. Give me a sincere apology now.”

“I'm sorry that you won't see reason.” I wasn’t particularly surprised when she back-handed me, but it did make it really hard to keep my mantle under control.

“Try again.”

“I’m sorry you don't care enough about yourself to go see a real doctor.”

Another backhand and I knew that we'd come too far. Unless she had a change of heart in the next thirty seconds, I wouldn't be able to keep Winter contained. “Try harder. Give me a sincere apology for your actions.”

I looked her in the swirling blue vortices of her glowing eyes. “Fine. I'm sorry I got you into this mess. I'm sorry I let you come with me to Demonreach that night. I'm sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most, that I made stupid, reckless, selfish decisions for me and Maggie and that I didn't think about how they would affect you. I'm sorry I didn’t see you, _really_ see you, in time to prevent you from becoming what you are now. I failed you in more ways than I can count Molls, and for that, I'm sorrier than you can ever know.”

I watched her face twitch, anger and pain fighting for dominance. Finally, she let my hair go so I could stand up straight and fell against me with a loud sob. “Oh my god, Harry. I'm so sorry.” She buried her face in my shoulder. “I don't know what came over me, I just, I heard you talking with them and I was so embarrassed and upset and. Oh god, I hit you.”

The fabric of her jacket was thick and scratchy and I couldn't understand why she would wear it as I slid my hand under it to the cool skin at the small of her back. “You did,” I confirmed.

“I'm such a psycho. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. These power surges and everything are driving me up a wall.”

“Not to upset you again but not knowing what's wrong with you is exactly why I was talking to Sarissa in the first place. I love you, and if this is just something that comes along with your mantle the longer you have it, I can deal with it. But I think we’re both thinking that it’s some side effect of the poison, and I think it's time you see someone with more medical experience than that quack here.”

“Who? I don't know where to find a doctor that specializes in fairy princesses, Harry.”

“If only there were someone intimately familiar with your situation, with training as a nurse, and healing magic, who already offered for you to come to her Court to be examined.” I kissed her head.

“Okay, but I can’t go weakened and sickly to the Summer Court. We can pretend otherwise but I _am_ the Winter Lady. That would be like painting a bullseye on our entire Court. And no matter what she implied, I don’t trust that I would be safe there. She assumes that since she walks unmolested through our halls, her bright and shining court would be the same for me, but I think she forgets that I am not of the blood like she is and that I’m dating her Queen’s number one most wanted criminal.”

I looked at her sharply. “Does she know that?”

“Oh, um. Well, we have a long-standing arrangement where we have a question for a question. We have to answer as truthfully as we possibly can and the questions have to be of equal importance. So like, if she asks me ‘how is the weather?’ I can’t respond by asking ‘what’s the biggest secret you’re hiding?’ and expect a real answer. I needed to know something very important, and…I didn’t expect her to ask something personal, but she did.”

“Heh. She didn’t tell Fix.” I said, trying not to look as worried as I felt.

“Of course not. Just as I wouldn’t share the information that I wanted to know with anyone else. The game we play is a dangerous one but it works. We are both too bound to each other now with shared secrets for either of us to throw the other under the bus.” She narrowed her eyes. “How do you know Fix doesn’t know?”

It was my turn to be flustered. “Oh, well, he may have guessed when we were escaping the warehouse. And I may have confirmed his suspicions.”

Molly pursed her lips, then shrugged. “Ah well. He's probably too loyal to snitch, to his Lady if not to your friendship.”

“I trust him. He's been a good friend to me.” I protested.

“Except for the numerous times he's threatened or tried to kill you.”

I gave her a level look. “If I discounted all of the people who have threatened or tried to kill me for one reason or another, I would be friendless not to mention single.” I saw her blanch but I wasn’t in a mood for apologizing for the truth. “If you won't go to the Summer Court, call Sarissa here.”

“She doesn't like coming back here if she can avoid it. It reminds her too much of childhood, I think.”

“I don't care what she likes. Molly, you need help. You’re not getting better on your own.” We stared at each other, both of us unyielding and angry. I was worried I might be dealing with the Winter Lady again but she looked away first and I sighed. “Look, at least call Butters. He might not be an expert on the fey but he's at least familiar with the fact that you're not entirely human and he'll understand that iron poisoning for you means something different.”

“…I'll think about it.” I gave her a stern look. “Okay, I'll call him when we get home, happy?”

I kissed her head again. “Yes, now go report in so that we can go home.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Oh, I can't report in yet,” Molly told me as if I should already know. “Mab’s occupied. I checked in before we left D.C. We're spending the night here and she'll call for us when she's in.” I slumped, but before I could complain she planted a kiss firmly on my lips. “Relax. I spoke with Karrin before we left. She'll grab Maggie and Mouse from the bus stop and keep an eye on them until we get back. She understands as well as any of us how time works in the Nevernever and said she'd watch her as long as we need.”

We hadn’t talked about it again since the night at Ebenezer’s back in March, but Molly had been more involved with Maggie. It was still hesitant like she was always waiting for either Maggie or me to tell her she was doing parenting wrong, but she was a natural of course. I hadn't known what a relief it would be, what a weight off my shoulders it was, to have someone else to help care for her, educate her and help make the big decisions. Every time Molly would do something to remind me that we were partners in this, like in everything else, it made me absurdly proud and happy. “Thank you.”

“For what?” She asked like she really couldn't understand why I'd thank her. I just shook my head and kissed her soundly. When I pulled away she was grinning with a hint of wickedness that started a slow burn in my lower abdomen. “Of course, you know what this means right?” I arched an eyebrow. “You're mine to command until the Queen shows up.”

My mouth went dry. “Lucky you. Several people have killed for the chance to command me. None of them have found the opportunity to their liking.”

The air grew thick with power, and I felt it caress my face half a second before her fingers did. “But what about you, Harry? Have you ever found it to _your_ liking?”

“Um.” I retorted, wittily.

“When the chips are down and the going gets tough, everyone always turns to you to find a solution, to make the decisions, to fix everything.” Her eyes burned like stars in a too-thin face. “Wouldn't it be nice to not have to think for once? To just lie back and do what you're told?”

That slow burn I mentioned earlier? Raging inferno. “Uh. No offense Molls, but this is the sort of speech that usually proceeds me being offered a coin or to be turned into a hound.” I tried to suggest it lightly but my voice betrayed me by coming out low and husky. Smooth, Harry. She definitely won't suspect this is working now.

“Of course. It's an obviously tempting offer for a man like you. But I'm not Lash or Lea. You trust me, right?”

I snorted. “You're a thousand times more dangerous than Lash or Lea ever could hope to be, and you know it.” I met her eyes. “But yes, despite every instinct to say no when someone asks me that, yes I trust you.”

Her smile widened. “Good. Then take off your shirt.” My t-shirt hit the wall in no time flat. “And your pants.” I dropped them, stepping out to stand in just my socks, boxers, and pentacle. Molly did a slow circle around me, eyeing me up with unveiled approval, trailing her fingers over my arms, chest, shoulders. “As long as I live, I don't think I'll ever get over the sight of you, naked and willing in front of me.”

“Bit presumptuous to say ‘willing’, isn't it?” I taunted, excitement and nerves battling inside of me as I realized what she was planning. “You ordered me to strip.”

“By all means, put your clothes back on if that's what you want.” She paused expectantly and when I didn't move she let out a deep laugh. “Willing enough then.” One hand cupped my face as she caught my gaze. “No need to be nervous. I've got you. I won’t ask you to do anything that I think you don’t want, and if I do you just need to tell me, okay?” My pulse jumped but I nodded. “Seriously. That’s a command. If I tell you to do something and you don’t want to do it, tell me.” I hesitated but nodded again. “Good. Kiss me.”

Smiling, I did as she asked. “Seems like a waste. Ordering me to do stuff I’d do anyway.” I kissed her again, unbidden and felt her smile against my lips.

“I'm going to have so much fun with this.” She stepped back. “Lose the boxers. And the socks.” When I stood naked before her she pursed her lips. “Where to start? Hmm. Give me thirty pushups.” Uh. That wasn’t what I expected, but I dropped down and did it anyway while she watched. Right as I hit thirty she decided to climb up on my exposed back and take a seat. Her clothes had disappeared at some point.

“I think you're a little big for piggy-back rides.” I snorted. 

“Did you just call me fat?” I was pretty sure her outrage was a joke, but since I wasn’t positive I stammered nervously. “Okay wise guy, fifty more, right now.”

“You know that's like, nothing to me, right?” I asked, lifting us both with only slightly more effort than it took for the initial thirty.

“Yeah, but you look so good doing it.” She grabbed a fistful of my ass and I almost toppled us both over in surprise. “You feel pretty good too.” She stretched until she was laying on her stomach on my back, her arms thrown around my neck and head bumping against mine with each rise and fall. I'm guessing she had her legs bent in the air since they weren't in my way. Around number forty, she started kissing along the back of my neck.

“That's distracting, you know.”

“You sounded like you needed more of a challenge.” I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of letting her know that my steadily stiffening erection was definitely increasing the challenge factor, in that I was now struggling to finish my pushups without getting rug burn in very sensitive areas, so I just grunted and kept going while she did everything in her power to distract me.

“Fifty.” I counted out loud, then without warning, flipped over, rolling until I had her under me. “My turn.”

I nipped at her neck until she moaned softly for me. I was just about to find more interesting places to put my lips when she softly whispered. “Stop.” And I froze like a goddamn statue. With an impish grin, she wiggled her way out from under me, making sure to wiggle as much of herself against me as she could. “It’s not your turn unless I say it’s your turn.” She stood and walked around me, out of my range of vision from where I was propped up on the floor. “This won’t do. Kneel.”

“How the tables have turned, eh?” I asked as I complied. She stood over me, a vision of ethereal beauty, not bothering with her human glamour and I was struck silent. She might have still been recovering, but she wasn’t lacking in power. It rippled away from her in thick waves, unsuppressed, unhidden. I didn’t need that command to be kneeling before her in that instant. It felt like the right thing to do.

...Until my mantle started going apeshit and I had to clench my jaw and calculate square roots in my head to remind it that no, we had, in fact, agreed to this, we did not need to rise up and crush her. Molly, of course, didn’t miss a thing and her already satisfied smirking became a gleefully evil grin with just a hint of teeth that, god, there is something wrong with me because it hit me right at my core and made me ache for her. I stared up at a dark goddess, one who held my fate in the palm of her hand, who had total and complete control over me. And despite my mantle’s urging, I found that I wanted to submit. For once in my life, I wanted to stop fighting, to stop worrying and thinking and to give myself to her completely, to let her rule me as no one ever had before. As soon as the thought was through my head I panicked – where had that come from? This was the sort of shit Lara and her sisters pulled. I didn't want – couldn't give up – shouldn't let–

“Harry, look at me.” Her voice was gentle and I turned my head up to meet her gaze. “Do you want this? Be honest, please.”

“Yes.” The word left my lips the instant she was done speaking, my eagerness taking us both by surprise. Oh. Well, okay. Apparently, I _did_ want. Who knew. “I’m not used to…” _ceding control, following orders, trusting in other people._ “But yes. With you. For you. Yes.”

“Alright. Stop me if that changes.” Molly caressed my face with one hand and I leaned into it. “Fuck. A girl could get used to this sight.” I wasn’t quite sure if she was talking to me or to herself. “What do I do with you now?” She tapped one finger against her lips thoughtfully. 

“Whatever you want,” I suggested. She paused, and I sensed more than heard her breath hitch for a second. “Your wish is my command.” I intended it to be cheeky but it came out too low, too gravelly to be anything but a promise.

It was what she needed to hear. I could feel the sudden heat shifting in the room, saw her eyes flicker with hunger. “Take your hand and stroke your cock, nice and slow. Good. Again. Keep going. Don't change pace. Don't cum unless I tell you to. And keep your eyes on mine.” I followed each command eagerly. I wasn’t normally a fan of jerking off but kneeling before her, eyes locked on hers, unable to stop or turn away even if I wanted to, it was amazing. “Tell me what you're thinking.” She commanded, leaning back against the bed, one of her own hands between her thighs.

“I'm thinking I'd rather be the one doing that,” I said, with a grin and a nod towards her. My lips kept moving. “I'm thinking you look amazing. I’m thinking I’m damn lucky. I’m thinking you’re a goddamn goddess and I belong on my knees in front of you, worshipping you.” Whether it was what I'd said or her own actions, Molly gasped, breathing heavier. I wasn’t even sure what I was saying anymore, caught up in a frenzy. “I wish I was better with words because you deserve poetry and hymns, but all I have to give is this, my body, my self, for you to do with as you wish. You deserve so much more but–”

Molly tackled me. “Stop.” She barked as she covered my mouth with hers. She sat on my legs and had taken over the duties my right hand had previously been fulfilling. “You are maddening, do you know that?”

“Not the first time I've heard that.”

“I want your mouth on me. Everywhere. Leave marks.” I did, everywhere I could reach while she was still stroking me off. We writhed against each other, sighing and groaning. “Mm. You feel close. But I haven’t given you permission yet, have I?”

“Not sure I have much control over it.” I sucked hard on one nipple and she made a delightful squealing gasp.

“Not my problem. You have your orders.”

“Molls,” I grunted roughly. “Your options are to tell me to cum or to have me break a direct order in about, maybe thirty seconds if you keep moaning like that.”

“Mm. Okay, I guess I’ll just have to find some way to keep quiet.” I should have known. She found an easy way to keep her mouth occupied alright and it did nothing to help the problem. I fisted my hands in her hair and made an embarrassing array of animal grunts and choked noises as she continued her frustratingly excellent work. I did more math. I thought of cold showers. I thought of nuns and old ladies and the look on Michael’s face if he saw what we were doing. But she was damn good.

“Seriously Molls. I – I can’t – you’ve gotta – Ungh.” Hells bells, I was actually drooling. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts anymore. I knew I was about to fall over the edge, and I couldn’t care what that meant. Distantly, I was pretty sure there’d be negative consequences if I broke a direct order and thereby broke a deal with Mab herself but at that moment I thought Mab could blow me…only, she’d have to wait in line because stars and stones was Molly good at this. I was starting to lose it. I couldn’t make my eyes focus properly. There was so much pressure building up in me, I thought if I didn’t cum soon I’d explode, maybe literally.

“Mol-Molly.” She tilted her head just enough to roll her eyes up to meet mine and umph. I should not have looked because the sight of those baby blues peering innocently up the length of my body with her sweet lips wrapped around my erection was enough to send my body into convulsions. Heat, vibrant and living, flooded my every pore from the tips of my toes to the hairs on my head and I felt like I could float to heaven itself on a cloud of pure ecstasy if I could just get a little more, a little further, almost there…

I couldn’t cum. I literally couldn’t cum, I realized in horror. Even letting go, consequences be damned, I couldn’t do it. I was growing frustrated, over-stimulated and without a means of gratification. Each breath thundered out of me, hard and ragged and I squirmed. I knew how it must feel to be a kinked-up garden hose and I tugged lightly on her hair, urging her away. “I can’t stand it. Molly. Please?”

She stilled for a moment and removed her mouth long enough to ask, “I’m sorry, is something wrong?” Her smug grin demonstrated that she knew perfectly well what was wrong.

“I – eh – Mmmph.” I gestured at my engorged phallus, unable to properly articulate over the hammering of my own heartbeat and the singing of each and every raw nerve ending on my body.

“Is that so?” She asked, with a giggle. “You want release?” I nodded helplessly. “Beg for it.”

I didn’t even pretend to be stubborn. I wasted no time complying. “Please. God, Molls. Please, please, please. I can’t. You have to. Nngh.”

“Holy shit,” More laughter. “I don’t think I've ever seen you this desperate for it.” She pushed me back hard against the ground. “I like it. I like seeing you all undone.”

“Please, Molly. You don’t. I need. Ahh!” With a roll of her hips, I was inside her and it was exquisite agony. She rode me like a rodeo bull, taking her pleasure, her fill of me and each movement, each tremor, each bump, and thrust, it was like fire in my soul. I couldn’t breathe, which was fine because my brain was a jumbled mess of rapture and torture and aching need for satisfaction and I couldn’t have formed words anymore if I wanted to. I didn’t want to. I wanted this to stop and I wanted it to never end. My entire body hummed, buzzed with unspent energy until it felt like my skin was vibrating. I’d never felt so truly alive.

Molly’s lips crashed into mine and her face reflected all of the anguished bliss inside of me. “Almost.” She whispered. “So close. Just.” She huffed softly, chewing on her bottom lip. “Now. Harry, now. Cum for me.” And I did, so hard my eyes teared up and I saw spots for a second. “We should. Always. End missions. Like this.” Molly panted between breaths as she lay collapsed on top of me.

I could only laugh quietly, bringing one hand up to stroke her hair. When I finally caught my breath enough to form words I said, “That was payback for making you beg on Thanksgiving.”

“Our scales must always be balanced.” She agreed, and while she said it playfully I couldn’t help but think that she meant it. She’d promised me that she’d make me pay for making her beg. It had been a slow, hard lesson for me but I was learning – Winter _always_ keeps its promises. It probably should have bothered me more than it did, but I was starting to just accept that this was a fact of life now. I was in a committed, long-term relationship with the Winter Lady and whether I liked it or not, that meant that everything was a balancing act between us. All debts must be paid. All favors returned. All promises honored. It wasn’t a terrible foundation for a relationship, to be honest. Especially for two people who were as fucked up as us.

“That was not a good means of deterring me from incurring further debts, just so you know.”

“I’d certainly hope not. This was just the trial run.” She sighed dreamily, turning her head so she could kiss my cheek, stubble and all.

“’Trial run’?” I asked in disbelief.

She shrugged. “I was pretty sure you'd be into it but I kinda expected you to tap out halfway through. With everything you've gone through, I wasn’t sure you'd be okay. That you’d let someone, or want someone, controlling you. And I…” I nuzzled against her head, waiting for her to finish her thought. It took her a minute but she eventually admitted. “I wasn’t sure I'd be okay. After what I've done…”

I sat up, pulling her with me. “This is nothing like what you did. This was…” _intensely erotic, disturbingly hot, something that I want to do again so badly I'm practically itching for it even though it scares me._ “Consensual fun. I could have stopped you. Hell, you _ordered me_ to stop you. I couldn't have stopped myself from stopping you if I'd wanted you to stop.”

She frowned, the deep furrows of her brow making her look much older. “Unless I ordered you to want it. Or I ordered you to be quiet. Or I gagged you.” She drummed her fingers on my arm. “And I thought about that, Harry. You put a lot of trust in me.” She didn't say it but I could hear the words ‘And I’m not sure I deserved it.’ Loud and clear.

“It's easy to trust someone you know.” I kissed the crown of her head. “I know you. Body and soul.”

“Or whatever.” She muttered.

“Or whatever.” I insisted. “Spirit. Mind. Energy. All of it. I know you. I wouldn't have wanted this with anyone else. I wouldn't have thought I wanted it at all. But with you? You’re the one person in this whole damn world who has always had my back. I trust you completely.”

“Good. Because we’ve got a long night ahead of us and we’re just getting started.” I shivered, somewhere between fear and excitement.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I ached in ways that were too familiar to be entirely comfortable, but I refused to let remembered horrors cause me to break. I hadn't balked at the blindfold. I hadn't even balked at the handcuffs. I had a moment of true terror when she snapped them on and I realized they were thorn manacles, but they weren't steel and I hadn't intended to use magic anyway so I forced myself to stay calm. Being suspended from the ceiling was…interesting. It wasn’t a first for me, but it was the first time I’d let someone do it without protest. She knew what she was doing too, with my feet just barely scraping the floor, so I had to stand on tiptoes to keep my wrists from bearing the full weight of my body. It was an unspoken game we were playing – just a game, I kept repeating in my head – where she wanted to see how far she could go before I’d tell her to stop. I guess she hadn't figured out yet that I was the wrong person to engage in a contest of wills.

I yawned theatrically. “Is this really your best work, Molly?”

The lash licked out between my shoulder blades with expert precision. “Patience my pet.” The words were cool and sensual. “I intend to enjoy as much of this as I can. If I dive in headlong too soon, I’m afraid you’ll call it off and spoil all the fun.”

I laughed. “Sweetheart, I've outlasted worse threats than anything you can dream up. Whatever you want, I'm sure I can handle it.” It wasn't even bravado. I just couldn't imagine anything she would want to do to me that would make me give in. She wasn't looking to _actually_ torture me. She wasn't going to kill me or permanently maim me. It was just a game, right?

_Crick, crick, crick._ Three lashes in rapid succession, all delivered to precisely the same spot. Pain blossomed along my spine, sending that surge of adrenaline I’d been waiting for. My breathing quickened but I didn't give her any other reaction. Another lash along my shoulders, first the left, then the right. No reaction. The lashes came more frequently then, and eventually at irregular and unpredictable intervals. Fifteen, maybe twenty in a row came straight along my spine before finally, I huffed out an involuntary breath with the faintest hint of a groan. Unwilling to lose face, I added: “Hey, that tickles.”

She laughed quietly to herself, trailing the tip across my body, pacing a slow circle around me. When she snapped the whip without warning across the top of my thigh, scant inches away from more sensitive areas of my anatomy, my breath caught. “Oh, you don’t like that, do you?” Molly purred and I could practically see her smirking from her tone. The whip licked out again, even closer this time. “I’ll stop any time you like. You just need to ask.”

“It’ll take more than that to scare me into submission,” I said, much more confidently than I was feeling. “Besides, you don’t want to bring that whip any closer than I do.”

“Don’t I? Now who’s presumptuous?”

“I know you. No matter what you do here, you’re going to want to make sure that at least that part of me is still functioning at the end of this game so that you can use it for yourself.”

Fingers gripped my chin, tilting my face down and lips caressed my own. “Very well, you called my bluff.” It felt like a knife, but I was pretty sure it was one of her fingernails that trailed down my chin, over my Adam's apple, scoring a line of searing pain down my chest. I gasped aloud. “Mm. Something you’d like to say, lover?”

I grinned. “I’ve always got something to say.” I couldn’t tell where she went but I could feel that she’d moved away. It had been like this with each new toy she'd introduced. She’d make me wait as if I'd submit from fear before she even used it on me. She'd started light with a paddle of some kind, and had gradually found out the same thing pretty much all of my enemies had found out – I have a surprisingly high tolerance for pain and can take a beating without batting an eye. From there she’d moved to caning, which had required her to call on Winter before she could hit hard enough to do damage. Then the whip, which honestly was the most effective yet, I just wasn’t giving her the satisfaction of seeing it. I was deep in thought, contemplating whether this kind of party was actually possible now that the mantle blocked most of my pain receptors when something (or more accurately a bunch of tiny somethings) raked lightly across my back and I shuddered involuntarily.

“Do you know what this one is, Harry?” Molly asked, far too sweetly in my ear.

I nodded hesitantly. “Yes.” It was a flogger, and if I had to guess, it was the kind once used for corporal punishment, not the relatively nice, gentle kind used for play. Lea was partial to them. I was very familiar.

“Are you sure you don’t have aaaaanything you want to say right now? Before I start tearing up all that pasty white flesh?”

I thought about it. I did. But in the end, I said, “Typical woman. All talk, no action.” It wouldn’t piss her off as much as it would have Karrin or Anastacia, but it did the job. The first _fwip-thwap_ landed across my shoulders and the world turned red for a second. She gave me no time to recover or adjust before delivering two more hard slaps of metal and, I don’t know, glass? My godmother had made hers out of some kind of thick, thorny vines but this was something entirely different. I convulsed reflexively and wound up flopping around in midair like a fish on dry land. The tendrils wrapped around my left side, biting into my ribs and spinning me. I scrambled to steady myself, to get my feet under me, but every time I flexed one way that metal monstrosity would catch me across the hip, the shoulder, the side, somewhere soft and vulnerable and I'd be pulled in a different direction. After a minute or two I was breathing hard with adrenaline and exertion. It hurt to move, I wasn’t sure if it was blood or sweat dripping down my back but I knew it was a combination of the two trickling down my arms from where the manacles bit into my wrists as I writhed, and oh god my wrists, my shoulders, my armpits even, everything ached and…despite the very real cries of pain I was emitting with each consistent snap of the metal bands, I was grinning fiercely.

I could hear Molly breathing heavier too, but with the blindfold, I couldn't tell whether it was from excitement or her own exertion, and I had no doubt she was working hard for every last groan and cry she wrenched from me. She was moving with preternatural speed, a flurry of blows no human hand could ever deliver, hard enough to rip my tender body to shreds wherever it landed. My world was a blur of pain and yet…I was surprised to find that I didn't want it to stop. This high, this rush, suddenly it wasn't just pitting my will against Molly’s best efforts, it was pitting my will against my own body. I could make this stop whenever I wanted, and unlike the various other times I'd been tied up, tortured and beaten, it wouldn’t cost me anything but a little pride. Hell, whenever I gave in I was reasonably sure I’d be getting lucky. But this was a challenge and I wasn’t just going to roll over and give in. Each stripe of pain peeled from my skin, each grunt that escaped my lips, took me someplace higher like I was being cleansed, remade into something brighter and stronger.

“Fuck, you really are enjoying this, aren’t you?” Molly whispered against my lips in a voice teetering somewhere between bliss and madness. I understood that feeling all too well.

Since the evidence of my enjoyment was pressing between us, brushing against her stomach as she pressed herself against me, worming her arms around my shoulders, I didn’t see any point in denying it. “Fuck, I really am.” Her mouth was hot and hungry against mine, and I thought for sure that she was going to pull me down so she could have her way with me again, but instead, she reached as far down my back as she could go and then slowly dragged her nails (in the loosest terms – they were razor-sharp talons) up my back. Not only did they draw their own lines in my skin, but they caught on each and every wound the flogger had inflicted and I started involuntarily tearing up by the time she was done. It was a ripping, sharp pain, a higher note in the symphony of agony my body had become, and I almost came from that alone.

“Mmm.” Her voice shook as her nails continued their way over my shoulders and down my chest. “Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn't have imagined you like this, so broken and yet still so eager.”

“Eager, yes.” I panted “Broken? Not so much.”

“Maybe not, but you’re close. How much longer can you really hang there? How many more licks from the flogger?” She twirled it in the air beside my head so I could hear the whistling it made and laughed when I flinched in anticipation. Her other hand found my erection and gave me a few lazy pumps. “Should I command you not to cum again? Or maybe keep stroking you until you cum over and over, until you’re raw and begging for surcease from the pleasure?” I grunted and she let go of me with a frustrated noise. “I can't think straight with you looking like this. I just want to get my hands on you and tear you apart.”

“No one's stopping you.” I rumbled, scaring myself a little bit. “Give it to me. Whatever you want to do, do it.”

“You’re giving an awful lot of commands for someone who isn’t in control. I think you may need to be taught manners.” She growled it, but there was amusement under the anger. “I think you forget your place.”

Her power had been steadily building, pooling around her the longer we went on. It ran across my skin like some living thing, sending the Winter inside me into fits, the Knight howling to be let free. Bound, suspended and blindfolded, I wasn’t afraid. We were here in the heart of Winter, far from Chicago and the “real” world and it felt like an in-between time, a night of dark possibilities where anything could happen, consequences be damned. I knew instinctively what she’d want to hear, how to get her to unleash herself on me. I let my head hang, as close to a bow as I could manage. “Then, by all means, please teach me, my Queen.”

The flogger raked my back time and again until I was screaming. As she worked, Molly started asking me questions, her voice building to a fever pitch with each one: “Who do you belong to?” (‘You, my Queen’) “Whose body is this?” (‘Yours, my Queen’) “You deserve this, don't you?” (‘Yes, my Queen’.) It went on like that until the pain was almost unbearable and between that and my throbbing erection it was hard to think. There was a build-up, both physical and mental and I wanted to let loose. I didn’t know how much of it was my mantle and how much was me but I wanted flesh and blood and hard rough sex. I wanted her to pull my hair again and sink her teeth into me, to claim every inch of me as her own. I wanted the heat, the radiating power, the bright, burning monster of this pain, I wanted it all, more, more, more, more, MORE.

Behind me, Molly made a strangled noise of need and frustration and I heard the whistle of the flogger moving away from me followed by a clatter as it hit the far wall. She moved away and I whimpered, scaring myself again. I was eager to see what else she could inflict. I was tensed for pain and wasn’t ready for the feeling of her ice-cold hand around my junk, jerking me off. I gasped out her name and the same hand dropped me quickly and slapped my ass. “Who am I?”

“Lady Molly,” I croaked out, voice hoarse from screaming. The words came unbidden to my lips, as though there were ritual to it. “A Queen of Winter and Unseelie fey, heir to the throne of Air and Darkness.”

Something creaked low on my right side and I had a second to wonder what it was before she wailed into me again, a stinging _crack_ with her bare hand against my left ass cheek. “And how do you address a Queen, mortal?”

“My Lady. My Queen. My Goddess.” She punctuated each of my sentences with another slap. She knew what she was doing, I'd give her that. The human body can get used to a certain kind of pain after a while and she knew she'd need to switch up the way she delivered it for maximum effect. Later, I would wonder if she'd learned these skills for business or pleasure, and when she'd had the chance to practice either, because surely she _had_ practiced. At the time I was just wishing she'd touch me more, whether in pain or pleasure, I wanted flesh against mine so badly it was almost a tangible need. She surprised me with a backhand, my head lolling to one side and she wasted no time kissing along the exposed line of my neck. I moaned. Much more of that and I’d start begging for anything and everything she'd give me. My nerves were overloaded, over-stimulated, my body sang, muscles strained and aching, and –

Something bit into my neck, wrapped around my throat, smooth leathery skin against my own. Suddenly the metallic taste of blood in the air was stronger, the room filled with the smell of damp, dark places, my heart pounding so loud in my ears I could hear nothing else. Everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

I went somewhere else for a moment and when I came back I was curled up on the floor in the Winter Lady’s…sex dungeon for lack of a better word, with my head in Molly’s lap, her hands running through my hair. My blindfold had been removed as had the cuffs. There was a strange noise and it was a moment before I realized it was me repeating “No.” over and over again.

“You're okay, Harry. I've got you.” Molly’s sweet voice was such a comfort, a familiar melody that made me feel safe and secure, I closed my eyes and used it to reorient myself. First step, stop babbling. It took some doing, but I managed. Second step, what the fuck just happened?

“What,” I started, my throat too raw to properly speak. I cleared my throat and tried again. “What happened?”

Her soft lips pressed against my forehead. “Um. I was sort of hoping you could tell me that. I guess I crossed a line somewhere. You seemed to be enjoying yourself but the second I touched you with the vampire glove you freaked out.”

“With the what?” I asked, lifting my head to look at her better.

“Vampire glove.” She repeated, lifting up a leathery black glove that sat beside her on the floor.

“Stars, even _I_ think it’s overkill to make gloves out of them!” I objected, startling at the sight.

Molly gave me a flat look that clearly said ‘you idiot’, waiting for me to realize my error. When I didn't, she patiently explained, “They're not made of vampires, Harry. They're made of cow like most leather. They've got spiky metal bits in the fingers which ‘bite’ into you, hence vampire.” She pushed hair back from my face. “I'm sorry, I just assumed that since everything else didn't phase you…I mean, these things are pretty tame compared to that flogger.”

My heart slowed down to something resembling normal. “It wasn't pain. It was...” My throat constricted and I couldn't get the words out. Molly frowned at me for a minute and then her eyes widened slightly.

“The leather made you think of the Reds and their weird bat skin.” I nodded. “Shit. I'm sorry, I didn't think. Of course with you tied up and blinded and in pain, something cold and leathery against your neck, I should have thought about it.”

I flashed a weak smile at her. “You had no reason to think about it. You couldn't have known.” I thumped my head gently back against her leg. “Sorry to kill the mood. Give me a minute and I'll be good to go. You can string me back up and have your way with me, my Queen.” I said the last with a smile, half-mocking.

She bit her bottom lip. “Tomorrow I'm going to be disturbed by how much it turns me on when you call me that.”

“Let's worry about tomorrow tomorrow. There’s still plenty of tonight left and I know you can't be tired of me yet.”

Her smile was a little sad. “I could never get tired of you. But you've already let me have so much, gone so far. We can take it slower, softer, if you want. There will be other nights.”

I felt myself getting angry at her, stung by the implication that I was weak, that I’d want to slow down because I had one moment of panic. I knew it wasn't what she meant, but it's what it felt like nonetheless. Ironically, the remembered terror of the nightmares I'd experienced with the Red Court had sharpened my desires. One of the best means I've ever found to overcome your fear is to bleed and sweat it out until there's nothing left in you, to turn it into anger and use it to fuel you, push you harder and farther. So, I'd just have to show her what I needed. “Are you a Queen of Winter or just some weak-willed child rendered impotent with sentimentality?”

“Excuse me?” She went zero to bitch in no time flat, and I smirked.

“Do you need me to repeat the question, my Lady? Are you a Queen of Winter or–”

“I heard you.” She snarled. “You know damn well who and what I am.”

“Then prove it.” My fingers walked up her thigh and continued on to casually stroke her delicate pleasure center while I spoke. “A queen doesn't make concessions or wait for another night. Winter doesn’t cease at the first sign of weakness. We take what we want because we want it and we can. A real queen would take control of her property and get her fill.”

“A good ruler uses her power wisely, understanding that sometimes instant gratification is not as satisfying as waiting until the, aah, right moment.”

“Yes, but this moment is ripe for the taking.” I replaced my fingers with my mouth, rolling onto my stomach and she let out a soft cry that only spurred me on. One of her hands was fisted in my hair, the other digging painfully into my already wrecked back, and that too only urged me to go faster, to bring her closer. And, because I am a consummate asshole, when I knew she was right on the edge, so close that desire rendered her speechless, I stopped and looked up at her.

“Is something wrong?” She panted, in a voice so soft and delicate I almost couldn't believe she was the same woman who’d beaten and whipped me earlier. I said nothing, letting my smugly-satisfied smile do the talking. She groaned in frustration, throwing her head back before looking down at me. “Don't tell me, you’re waiting for the right moment?” I smiled harder, unable to respond from the way she'd phrased the question. She rolled her eyes. “Idiot. Fine, you want me to take control? To do what I want with you? Don't cry to me tomorrow, you brought this on yourself.” Her eyes grew hard on the last. Hells bells, why did that send a thrill through my body? “Finish what you started here.”

Oh, this was going to be fun. She hadn't specified how to finish, so I moved to push her back so I could climb on top and give us both the release we needed, but she had other plans. The hand still in my hair yanked my head roughly back into place, her fingernails biting deep into my shoulder to hold me down. I tried to fight both but she wasn't budging and when I snarled up at her the gaze I met held no mercy, no compassion. Winter roared in my head, in my chest, begging to be set free but I held back, and let her force my mouth down to her sweet skin. It took some work to get her back to where I'd stopped, but I've never been a man to shy away from hard work. I tried experimentally to break her grip a few times, but found the closer I brought her, the stronger she was. By the time I had her shuddering beneath me I had frost in my hair, spreading across my back, the only heat around me was the flesh beneath my tongue and mouth, hot and demanding. She cried out her release but instead of slumping back, taking a moment as she normally would, she used her grip on my hair to fling me backward. 

I hit the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of me. “Get up.” She ordered and I struggled to my feet. I almost collapsed again, my limbs feeling bloodless and limp after hanging suspended for so long, but I'd been given a command and I couldn’t do anything but follow it. She moved across the room so fast it would have looked like teleportation without my mantle and tackled me back against the wall. Rough stone dug into my shredded skin and her lips were bruising against mine, one arm across my throat, not quite choking me but effectively holding me in place. The other hand clawed down my side. I couldn't stop myself from thrusting against her as her smooth thigh pressed against my rigid phallus. I needed friction, anything to relieve the tension. “So impatient.” She murmured. She brushed icy fingers low along my stomach. “Tell me what you want so badly.”

“You, my Queen.” I groaned, as her hand moved over my hips and I tried not to shiver.

“Hmm. Beg for it.”

“Please, my Lady.” My voice sounded unfamiliar to my own ears, too low and utterly desperate. “Please, my Queen.” Each touch of her skin to mine drove me a little more wild, her power rippling against me, calling to my own.

“You know what I want, don't you?” She asked, fingers trailing ever so lightly down the length of my cock. It wouldn't have been enough to do anything on its own. In fact, the cold should have been unpleasant. But the _power_. My eyes watered, unable to breathe for a moment, so full of sensation I thought my body might rip apart.

“Yes.” I hissed out because suddenly I did.

“Then give it to me.” She whispered. “Let yourself go.” And because we both wanted it, and my Queen had commanded it, and I couldn't have held back for much longer anyway, I did as she asked. I let myself go and let my beast run free. Pain faded into the background, nothing more than a source to fuel my fire, rage and lust burning in me until they became one thing. I met her eyes and she gave a toothy grin. “There he is. Finally. Now we can really play. You want me? Go on and take me if you can.”

I didn’t need telling twice. I moved in against her until the arm at my throat was actually constricting and gripped her waist, shoving her away from me. I was hoping she’d stumble but of course she didn’t, which didn’t make a difference when I charged at her. She moved out of the way at the last second, holding out one clawed hand to slash across my chest on my way past her. Before I could change my trajectory she ran at my back, tackling me into the wall opposite where she’d previously pinned me. I swept one leg out behind me, knocking hers out from under her, but she clung to my back, fingers digging into each shoulder like a vice.

I turned and slammed us both back against the wall hard enough to rattle my teeth in my head. Lady Winter wrapped her legs around my waist from behind and yanked my head back so she could sink her teeth into the thick tendon running along my neck. Fury surged through me and suddenly I was hurling her over my head, across the room. She bounced once on the stone floor and skidded to a halt in a low crouch. “Come on, my Knight.” She taunted. “I told you to take me. Follow your orders.”

“Happy to oblige,” I said, an almost inhuman growl. I charged her again and rather than make the same mistake, I watched her closely, saw her body shift in the smallest ways. She would duck to the left when I was almost on top of her. She had skill and power, there was no doubt about it, but she still moved like prey, not a predator. She wasn’t afraid, not yet, but she would be. I knew in my bones that I could catch her, take her as she commanded and then some. I would wrap my hands around her lily-white neck, drink her blood and taste her power, fuck her until she screamed for me to keep going or stop. It wouldn’t matter, as long as she screamed.

Right at the last instant, when her limbs were tensed for dodging and she started to smile, thinking she had outsmarted me again, I bobbed to the left to meet her in a full take-down tackle. And there it was. Surprise and the first breath of fear. She had been caught and she knew it. I felt her gather her power, probably to shoot me across the room, and grabbed her wrists before she could aim at me. She was sprawled beneath me on the floor, bare ass on the natural stone with her legs to either side of me. Sometimes things just lined up perfectly. I nudged her knees wider with my own, felt her heartbeat racing beneath my fingers. The air was filled with the scent of her arousal, the sweet note of fear under it, and I drank it in as I penetrated her, finally scratching the itch that had been building all night. “What now, Lady?” I snarled, rutting against her with no regard for her satisfaction or comfort. She was mine by conquest and I could do as I pleased. If she had wanted things her way, she shouldn’t have let herself get caught. “I hear no taunting commands.”

Her lips quirked up in a wicked little smile. “Harder.” I slammed into her with as much force as I could manage, hard enough to bruise. “I said harder, my Knight. Or aren’t you man enough for this command?” I ground my teeth, dropped her wrists to take hold of her hips and pulled her against me with each thrust. “Is that the best you can do?” I casually backhanded her and she drew a sharp breath. Suddenly I was toppling backward. “Was I not specific enough?” The Lady demanded, locking her legs around mine. I was still inside her and she had not stopped thrusting in the movement. “Are you or are you not the Winter Knight? Answer me!”

“I am.”

“Then show me what you’re made of. Make me believe you’re worthy. Take me. Fuck me. Violate me. Take your fill.”

Any vestige of humanity fell to the wayside. The world became a blur of teeth and claws, blood and flesh. We rolled across the floor, wrestling for dominance, and she fought me every step of the way. Our bodies grew slick against each other with blood and sweat. She practically hummed with power and everywhere our skin touched I vibrated with it. I sunk my teeth into the hollow of her throat and she cried out as my mouth filled with her life’s essence, pushing me roughly away, then covering my mouth with her own. Her eyes burned wild and fever-bright, her claws carving patterns into my flesh. We rolled again and she licked a line up my chest, lapping up my blood. Both of us were more crimson than white-skinned, and the black lines and swirls of her tattoos looked even more appropriate in that carnage.

Towards the end, her commands became near-constant, building us both to a fever pitch. I was going to kill her when we were done for thinking she could command me like this, that this was acceptable, but first I’d use her to sate this lust she inspired. “Don’t stop. Faster. Fuck. Faster. Hit me. Harder. Right there. Ahh.” She was pinned against the wall, her legs around my waist as I drove into her. Her hands were fisted in my hair. “That’s it. That’s it. Fuck. Make me yours. Come on. Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon. Hah. Harry!” And then I was cumming inside her as though my life depended on it, as though it was my sole purpose in life, hot desire spilling out of me. She had closed her eyes, breathing hard, and I was debating whether I wanted to take her out swiftly with my hands around her neck or if it would be better to let her struggle. The chase, the fear, the screams. Surely that would be more satisfying. I was distracted from my thoughts by a slow clapping off to our right.

The little Queen startled at the sight of the White Woman in the doorway and the hint of fear that had been present throughout my conquest became stronger, a more potent perfume on her. We disentangled and I stood slightly in front of my Queenling, shielding her from the Winter Queen. I could recognize another predator when I saw one and I would not yield my prey so easily. I started to stalk toward her, chase her off of our territory, but the Lady put one hand on my shoulder. “None of that. Come back to us, Dresden.” With an effort of will, I resurfaced, stuffing the mantle down and putting a tight lid on it. Pain returned in a flood and I would have fallen if Molly’s other hand hadn’t found my waist, holding me steady.

“By all means, don’t stop him on my account.” Queen Mab said, obviously amused. “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“Mother.” Lady Molly acknowledged. Bowing her head slightly but nothing else. I knew she was afraid but she didn’t look or sound it, merely irritated at the interruption. I was uncomfortable on a level I’d never experienced before – from hearing Molly call Mab ‘mother’ to standing naked, grotesquely injured, covered in blood and sweat, my raw, limp dick on display, still sticky from its recent activity to knowing that Mab had just watched us have sex. Basically everything about the situation was something that made my skin crawl and the rational parts of my brain scream in terror. Fortunately, Molly’s grip on my shoulder silently urged me to let her handle this and for once, I felt no desire to open my mouth. “We weren’t expecting you to return until the morning.”

“Yes, yet here I am. And here you are.” She eyed me hungrily. “Sir Dresden, good to see you again.”

“Your majesty.” I bowed at the waist, and the pull of movement on my wounds stole my breath for a moment until I slowly righted myself.

“Oh, Lady Molly, you’ve done an exquisite job. I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you, but it seems we’ll make a Winter Queen out of you yet. Turn, Sir Knight, let me examine you more thoroughly.”

I started to obey, but Molly’s hand tightened. “Stay still.” I did as she commanded. “Mother, you’ve already gone to great lengths to try to make us uncomfortable. You do not need to subject Sir Dresden to further humiliation for your amusement. He has done enough.”

“He certainly has.” Her eyes twinkled. “And what of you, child? Have I humiliated you as well this night? Made you uncomfortable?”

Molly stood a little taller. “And what should I have been humiliated about? I have done nothing wrong, nothing that I am ashamed of. Is this not how the Lady and Knight are meant to be? If any of us should be embarrassed, it should be you for entering my private chambers and being a voyeur to our intimate moments.”

Her eyes were no longer amused. “You have no private chambers. I still sit the throne in Arctis Tor, there is no room I cannot enter, no door I cannot pass through here in _my_ castle. Have you grown so power-drunk off command of one mortal that you forget your place?”

“I know my place perfectly well, Queen Mab,” Molly replied, a slight emphasis on her title. Something unseen passed between them, a shift of energy or emotion, I couldn’t tell but the air was suddenly alive with power.

When Mab spoke again she looked thoughtful. “Perhaps. Perhaps not. You know the consequences should you overstep. Do you know what I witnessed tonight?”

“That depends on how long you were standing there, Mother,” Molly replied, with a lecherous smirk.

“Power, Margaret Carpenter. More power than I’ve ever seen you wield before. What have you been up to, I wonder?” She cocked her head sideways.

Whatever Molly had been expecting her to say, it wasn’t that. “I…I have been recovering from bane poisoning, your majesty. When I am not on a mission for our court, I am mostly in bed. I have not sought out greater power.” She looked at me. “I was taught that pursuing power for power’s sake alone always leads us down the wrong paths.”

“Mm. And have you considered how much power your teacher has amassed since he told you that?” She purred.

“I have. And where his power has led him, as well.”

“It seems to me it’s led him right where you want him.”

“Standing right here. Just in case anyone forgot.” I interjected.

“No, your majesty. With all due respect, no. This is not where I want him. Nor where I want myself. I have made no secret of that.” Molly’s voice was pained. “But I recognize that we are needed, and I am trying to make the best of a…less than ideal situation.”

“So I’m to believe you’ve just spontaneously grown by several magnitudes of power?”

“I would never presume to tell you what you should believe, your highness,” Molly said, bowing her head slightly. “But I have not lied. I do not know what I have done to earn this power, but I am glad to have it if it can help our cause.”

Mab eyed her, clearly weighing the sincerity of her words. “Very well. Tell me how the negotiations went.”

“Of course. Sir Dresden, you’re dismissed for now. Wait for me in my bedchambers.”

“So eager to get him away from me. Why not send him back to his own rooms? They’re just on the other side of this passage, you know.” Mab wore a Cheshire smile and Molly was frowning, partially confused and partially irritated. “Go back to your own bed, Dresden.” Well, I couldn’t exactly argue with Queen Mab herself. I headed for the door on the far side of the room from where we’d entered, hoping it led straight to my rooms and not into a hallway or something where I’d be on display for anyone walking past. It had been a while since I’d been here – would any of the clothes in my room even fit me now? And, bruised and torn up like I was, I was in no condition to fight. I could be walking straight into an ambush.

“Nonsense, Mother,” Molly replied smoothly. “His clothing was discarded in my room, he should return there. Go put on your clothes and wait for me, Harry. I may avail myself of your services yet again this night.” I froze like a deer in the headlights. The Queen had commanded me to go to my own chambers, but Molly had commanded me to hers. I couldn’t do both. Could I choose which command to follow? I found, if I thought about it, I could go in either direction. Mab held rank, but Molly had given the last command. I felt like the rope in a deadly game of tug o’ war and then realized, that’s exactly what this was. Both women had given me commands to demonstrate that they could, and to see where I would go, what decision I would make.

“I don’t like being used as a pawn, for the record,” I growled and snatched up the cane on my way toward the door to my rooms. It wasn’t an ideal weapon, but it would be a serviceable staff in a pinch. I wanted to follow Molly’s command, both because it was where I wanted to be and because if I was going to be given orders, I’d rather they come from her. But there were consequences for defying a Queen’s orders, any Queen, and if I was going to bring down someone’s wrath on me, I’d also rather that come from Molly. It increased my survival odds if nothing else.

“Surely you can see how this makes no sense, your majesty,” Molly said coolly, a note of pleading in her voice. I wondered if she knew something I didn’t, or simply had reached the same conclusion I had, that anything Mab wanted me to do was likely to be a trap. “You have proven your point. He’s followed _your_ command. Now please, let him go to my bed. I will have need of him later.”

Mab was silent for a moment and I almost stopped, almost turned around to look at her and to make sure Molly was okay. But I thought better of it. Mab let me reach the door before she said, “The Lady is right, Sir Dresden. Return to her chambers, if you so desire.” ‘If you so desire’. That seemed dangerous. But I _did_ so desire and it _was_ an order so I turned and trudged back toward the doorway to Molly’s room. Molly had started her report before I left, I think to try to distract Mab, but the Queen’s eyes stayed on me the entire time. I had to pass within arm’s reach of her to exit and I did so tensed, ready for action, the cane still tightly gripped in one hand. Thankfully, she made no move to approach me, but I could feel her eyes on my skin well after I’d closed the door behind me and made it all the way back to the bedroom.

I was still in the shower when Molly returned. Not because they don’t make water hot enough to make me feel clean after Mab’s hungry gaze (although, they don’t) but because the hot water felt sinfully good on my aching everything. I also wasn’t eager to step out of that heat into the frigid air or to try to struggle back into that tight shirt with my back looking more like it belonged in a butcher shop than attached to a human being. I allowed myself about thirty seconds of horror, self-loathing and panic over the night’s events before I shoved it away. The things we’d done had been…insane. But they'd been consensual. They'd been things we both wanted. And I had to admit to myself that the majority of the guilt I was feeling was really just for not feeling guilty about it.

I tensed at the knock on the door. “Hey, just me,” Molly said, poking her head in. “Mind if I join you?”

“That depends. Am I talking to Lady Molly of Winter, right now?” I asked, cautiously.

She gave me a tired smile. “That’s always who I am now, Harry.” But her tone and use of my first name answered my question well enough. She must have taken my answering smile as permission (or, y’know, didn’t care since it was her bathroom, not mine) because she slipped in, shutting and locking the door behind her.

“Do you really think locking the door is going to give us an ounce of privacy after tonight? I don’t think locks or doors or walls matter much to her.” I said gently, standing aside to give her room to enter.

“I know but it makes me feel better anyway. Besides, she’s not the only thing to be wary of in the heart of Winter.” Her lips met mine and we both smiled harder. “I'm so sorry that she just barged in like that.” She wasted no time in scrubbing the blood off her skin, which I was relieved (and a little bit disappointed) to see was almost entirely healed of any of the wounds I'd inflicted.

“She's not your responsibility Molls. You don't need to apologize for that.” I started lathering shampoo into her hair, massaging her scalp when she glanced up at me.

“’For that’?” Her tone was flat. “And just what _do_ I need to apologize for?”

I was too tired for this. “Nothing. Just forget I said anything, I'm out of it right now.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re pissed off.” She accused. “Why?”

I had been willing to let it go, to not say anything, but if she was going to insist on dragging it out of me, I wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. “…You used me for, I don’t know, some kind of power play? I don’t even know what you were hoping to accomplish, other than pissing her off. But I don’t like it. You want to boss me around on missions, pull rank in front of Sarissa and Fix and Lea, fine. You want to play dominatrix again, I’ll gladly comply. But if you ever try to manipulate me, use me to make a point without my permission again, I’ll…”

“Go on, Harry. What’ll you do?” Her voice was too cold, too distant. “You’ll do exactly what I say because you’ll have no choice.”

I let my voice drop, let my eyes become harder. “If you do it again, we’re done.”

“What?”

“I can deal with a lot, Molly. The mood swings, the secrets and plots, and deals, all of the other fairy crap, but not this. You want me to be the Winter Knight? Another piece on the board for whatever’s going on that you’re not telling me about? You’re right. I can’t stop you. I’ll follow your commands. But like I told her, you better be very careful how you command me. Because if you force my hand, I will make you regret it. Every order will be a chore. I will follow to the absolute letter and not a single step more.” Apparently, the bathroom wasn’t wizard-proof, since the light bulb chose to burst at that moment. That was fine, I didn’t need the light. “And if you treat me like your Knight and nothing more, that’s exactly what you’ll get. I will come when you call, and that’s all you’ll see of me. I will take my daughter and we’ll go away. You will never have me willingly in your home or your bed again. We won’t be lovers. We won’t be friends. You’ll be my boss, no more no less, just as she is.”

The room was still, like it was empty, and I was debating grabbing my pentacle from the counter to will some light back into the room when Molly finally responded. “If you don’t want to be with me, then go. I won’t force you to stay against your will.” The words sounded hollow.

“That’s not what I said, at all.” I snapped. “Molly, I love you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love someone else. I don’t ever want to leave. I want…” I swallowed, choked on my own words. “But tonight you played me. You made me choose between your command and hers.”

“And you chose hers.” She fiercely interjected.

“You’re damn right I did!” I shouted. “She’s the goddamn Queen of Air and Darkness. She isn’t a person, she’s a force of nature in a humanoid shape and she scares the hell out of me. Do you think we’d be having this conversation if I’d disobeyed her? No. One or both of us would have been strung up by our toes in a dungeon somewhere. You both put me in an impossible position and I made the best choice I could for my own survival.”

“But you _did_ make a choice.” She said, quietly. “You chose to follow Mab’s orders.”

“Yeah, and if you expect me to apologize, don’t hold your breath.” I reached for my amulet and called up enough light to illuminate the small bathroom, stepping out of the shower. “I’m going home unless you’re planning on ordering me to your bed again so you can ‘avail yourself of my services’ I believe it was?”

I looked at her face and wished I hadn’t. I’ve never seen anyone look so pained and distraught with bubbles in their hair. “Is that it then? After everything, this is how I lose you?”

I sighed. “No, Molls, come on. I’m not…It’s not…” I shook my head. “I’m very not okay with what happened back there. I need you to understand that, and I need you to tell me it’s not going to happen again.” She stood silently, the water from the showerhead running in rivulets down her face, mingling with the tears. In the glow of my pentacle, she looked even more gaunt and alien than usual. She looked wilted, deflated almost, and I swore. “Do you at least understand why I’m upset? Tell me you understand, Molly. Give me whatever justification you want, or tell me you don’t have one, but I need you to tell me that you at least feel sorry you did it.”

“I’m sorry that I upset you.” She said quietly. “And I’m sorry that I took a risk with your safety. It wasn’t a.” She frowned and corrected herself. “It wasn’t _just_ a power play. But it’s what I had to do. I won’t apologize for it.”

“Say it won’t happen again.”

“I can’t, Harry.”

“Say it won’t happen again!” I shouted and she actually flinched.

“I can't.” Her voice broke and she turned away from me, shoulders shaking with silent tears. “Why did I believe you?”

“Believe me?” I asked, toweling off. I was too angry and confused to think, too hurt to really feel much else.

“Nevermind. You’re right. You should go home.”

There was a note of finality to the way she said it that struck a chord in me. “Molly…”

“I should have sent you home as soon as we got back from D.C. You don't belong here. Maybe… maybe a night apart would be good for us.”

My heart stopped for a second and when it restarted it ran double-time. “What? No, come on. Finish up and let's go home together. We're both frustrated and tired and–”

“Exactly. So go home, go to sleep. We can talk in the morning when we're both more level-headed.” She ran her hands through her hair, rinsing it out as though everything was normal. “Don't wait up.”


	7. Chapter 7

I was a mess, in more pain than I could ever remember being without someone dying, and angrier than I'd been in a long, long time. Also, my body hurt just about everywhere. I thought about going to Murphy's and collecting Maggie. I thought about going to Thomas’s and talking about it. Or just drinking about it in silence. I thought about heading to Butters and Andi’s place to have him take a look at my back which more closely resembled raw cube steak than the human body. Maybe I'd just go to Mac’s and get blind drunk by myself. That felt right. It’s what I would have done years ago when my life still made sense. God, had I ever thought my life was complicated before? I wanted to go back to my twenties and shake some sense into that kid. Tell him to appreciate the little problems, like how to pay rent when you’re not getting work or having to take the Beetle in for yet another repair. I laid down in a bed that was way too big and stared at the ceiling.

I could choke, thinking of all the things I hadn’t known. All the things I hadn’t seen coming. All the things I could change. All the people I hadn’t saved, myself included. If I could go back, would I even recognize myself now? Would I believe the twists and turns my life had taken? “Hey kid, just so you know by the time you’re my age you’re working for Queen Mab, dating the Winter Lady who, incidentally, you know Michael’s oldest daughter? Yeah, the six or seven-year-old. Yeah, that’s her. Oh and your bastard daughter with Susan Rodriguez lives with you. Sure she has PTSD and night terrors because you weren’t there to stop the monsters from kidnapping her, but she probably doesn’t remember watching you make her mother turn into a vampire so that you could kill her, so that’s okay. What’s that? Over your dead body? Funny you should mention that. You’re gonna meet a guy named Kincaid…”

Look, even I’m allowed to throw myself a pity party, okay? My girlfriend used me as a pawn against the Winter Queen. She was pissed off that I chose to follow Mab’s orders over hers and when I told her I hadn’t liked it and needed her to refrain from doing it again, she decided we should spend the night apart. What? How was _I_ in the wrong here in any way? I had a right to be pissed off. All of the things I put up with? The secrets and half-truths and all the fairy bullshit? I should be able to draw a line somewhere. But I don’t know why I was surprised. Wasn’t this how it always went? I always put the women in my life first and hoped that they’d give me the same love and respect I gave them. But Elaine had betrayed me, Susan went behind my back, got us both into a world of trouble, lied to me about our child, Anastacia was only brainwashed into a relationship, and Karrin…Karrin and I might have worked if I’d gotten up the stones to start something 10 or 15 years ago when we were both less broken, but I was too damaged for her comfort and she was too damaged for what I needed.

Yet here I was thinking I could make it work with _Molly_? My apprentice? The one person in this whole city who was at least as fucked up as me, which was entirely my fault, and I thought we could make it work? Of course she didn’t want me with her. Look at her behavior over the last month. Clearly she was getting sick of me. Everything I did seemed to piss her off. Maybe she’d finally realized I wasn’t the guy she imagined I was all those years ago. Or maybe she was growing up and realizing just how badly I’d fucked up with her in the past. I mean, she didn’t sound like she held any of it against me, every time I’d hurt her she just blamed herself, but she'd have every right to.

I hadn’t noticed the signs of a practitioner in her even when her dad told me he’d been having electrical issues and she’d been fighting with her mom. I let her get kidnapped by fetches, taken straight to Arctis Tor. I almost let the White Council behead her. I humiliated her so badly that she still ached over it almost ten years later, crushing her spirit. I’d handled her with kid gloves at times, at others lashed out at her, and by no measure did I give her an actual useful apprenticeship. I treated her like a child well into her twenties, only acknowledging her as an adult when I asked her to do something that I never should have asked, never should have burdened her with. And I broke her. I gave her up to Lea’s waiting arms, where her sense of responsibility coupled with survivor’s guilt made her push herself too far. And I was oblivious, talking to her about finding my killer. Then I came back, immediately taking advantage of her hospitality and coming on to her like a creep then turning her down. Oh and let’s not forget, dragging her into my mess so that she was in position to become the Winter Lady.

Of course I was in the wrong. I’d always be in the wrong because every time I’d had a decision to make where Molly was concerned I’d made the wrong one. Every step on the fucked up path that had led her here was my fault. I deserved to let her use me. After all, it’s what I’d always done to her. And she never held it against me. She always wanted to please me, to make me proud. How much of our relationship was based on that? How many times had she said yes to something just because she thought I wanted her to? Fuck. I rolled over to her side of the bed, buried my face in her pillow and screamed into it until my voice cracked. Screaming became tears and I held her pillow to me like I was holding her. At least it smelled like her. Yeah, it wasn't a high point for me, definitely pathetic, but I couldn’t care.

I really hadn’t wanted to fuck this one up. Being with Molly, it was so easy, even when it was hard. She saw me, really _saw_ me, and I never felt like I needed to apologize for being myself, or even like I needed to explain myself. She just knew. And I thought I knew her, most of the time at least. But tonight she’d made me feel like I was just some tool, some pawn for her to use in whatever deadly game she played, no more no less. I couldn’t deal with that. She didn’t need to worship the ground I walked on but I needed her to at least acknowledge me as a person.

I fell asleep somewhere between one twisted thought and the next, torn between anger, guilt, and despair. In my dreams, we fought, sometimes verbally and sometimes physically, or she was running away and I was chasing her, always just outside of my grip. I slept fitfully, but waking up alone was almost as bad as the nightmares so I kept falling back to sleep. I was deep in the throes of a hellish encounter where I lost control of the mantle and could only watch while I ripped her apart when my eyes opened. The room was still dark but I could see the sky lightening to a paler purple out of one window. I thought about getting up and closing the curtains so that the sun wouldn’t wake me in an hour or two when I felt the bed shift behind me. In case I had any doubts who had climbed into bed, a light dusting of snow started falling on me as she drew closer. I held my breath, just waiting to see what she’d do.

Then suddenly there was a ball of ice-cold flesh and soft skin at my back, curled against me. It reminded me of how Mouse used to cuddle up to me when he was still really small. At the time I’d thought he was lonely and needed me but now I think maybe it was the other way around. She shuddered against me, probably crying or maybe just shaking with emotion. She didn’t put an arm around me or reach out to me in any way, she was just pressed against me, her face and knees drawn tight against my back. It was like she wanted to be close, but couldn’t stand to actually make contact. Or, knowing Molly, maybe like she felt she didn’t deserve contact.

I turned, wordlessly, and curled myself around her in turn. She was so huddled in on herself that she fit perfectly in the curve of my body. I threw an arm over her and held her close, feeling her cold breath against my chest. She was frozen, literally. Cold even to my touch. But I held her anyway, not letting her see it affect me. Ice crept over us both and I didn’t care. At least she was here. I kissed her head. “Just be here, Molly. We can argue and hurt and worry in the morning, but for now, let’s just be here.” I said quietly. She didn’t say anything, but slowly the cold receded, leaving behind damp sheets and clammy skin. I’d fallen asleep in worse ways.

I woke several hours later as Molly kicked and flailed her way out of bed, scrambling to make it to the bathroom. I tried to remember if we’d even eaten anything the night before for her to regurgitate and realized we hadn’t had anything since lunch in D.C. Well, maybe she had after I’d left. I hadn’t had much of a stomach by the time I came home. Still, her body was finding something to reject. Since this was old hat by now, I shuffled out of bed, pulled on my robe and went downstairs to put the kettle on the stove. As soon as it was up to temp, I poured a mug of mint tea, put a couple of cookies on a saucer, and went back upstairs. Molly had slumped back against the wall beside the toilet, looking as haggard as someone damned to an eternity of youthful beauty could look. I hadn’t paid attention to what she was wearing when she came to bed, but it was one of my t-shirts. I knelt down in front of her with my offering, and she took it wordlessly.

“Do you need me to get you anything else?” I asked, sitting back on my heels. She shook her head, sipping at the tea. “Is there anything I can do?” She shook her head again, not looking at me. “Do you want me to call Butters?”

“No.” Her voice was hoarse, hardly recognizable. “Later. Promised.”

Right. She’d said she’d call him when we got home. If I called she’d be going back on her word. “Okay. Can you stand, do you need help up?” She shook her head, but let me help her up anyway and we headed back toward the bed. Once she was settled and had started nibbling on the cookies (for some reason the one food she could always keep down) I started getting dressed. “Sooooo. Last night was certainly something, huh?”

“Mm.” She said in acknowledgment, no more.

“I think we both lost our cool a little bit,” I suggested. No response. “Maybe did things or said things we really didn’t mean?” Still silence. “Fine, if you’re going to make me say it first, I’m sorry for shouting at you and for losing my temper. It wasn’t called for.”

“It’s fine,” Molly said quietly, her face still in her mug.

I waited. “Okay. Good…Anything else you’d like to say?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” She looked up at me with the weight of the world in her gaze. “I’m sorry I can’t be what you want.”

“Molly, you’re everything I want. I just –”

“I wasn’t last night. Last night I was the Winter Lady, and it was too much for you.”

“I happened to enjoy quite a bit of you being the Winter Lady. What I didn’t enjoy was you intentionally putting me in a position where I had to choose between your orders or Mab’s.”

“And you chose her, yes, we’ve been over this.” She hissed.

“What, I was supposed to choose you? Is that it? It was a test?”

“If so, you failed.”

“If so it was a stupid test. Mab outranks you. She could kill us both with a thought. Only an idiot would defy her. Of course if she’s giving the orders I’m listening.”

“I was trying to protect you, you idiot!” Molly snapped. “She was sending you to your room because she knew what you would find there. And I don’t know what she’s playing at but it wouldn’t have ended well. So I tried to send you away. But you wouldn’t listen.”

“You didn’t say it wasn’t safe. You said you wanted me to go to your bed like your…” I searched for the right word, and instead my incoherently angry brain came up with, “Gigolo. How was I supposed to know it would be dangerous to go to my room?”

“You told me every day during your rehab she tried to kill you. Why _would_ you think it was safe to go to your room?”

“I didn’t. But I thought it was safer than disobeying an order from the Queen.” I threw my hands in the air.

“ _A_ Queen. Not _the_ Queen. _A_ Queen.” She corrected. “There are six of us, three which you answer to.”

“And two which _you_ answer to, last time I checked. If Mother Winter had hobbled her ass into the room and issued a third command I’d have listened to her first. It’s a matter of rank.”

“And where does your girlfriend rank?”

“I thought the Winter Lady doesn’t date? Aren’t I supposed to be just your Knight when you’re officially the Lady?”

“Harry, I’m always the Winter Lady. How many times do I have to tell you? I was the Lady last night. I’m the Lady this morning. I’ll be her tomorrow morning. And the day after that. And so on, ad infinitum – sorry, that’s forever for the Latin challenged among us – until the end of days and maybe even after. You can’t just choose to be with me when I choose not to use my title. It doesn’t work that way.”

“You’re the one who said we had to keep our relationship from Mab. And you know what, I _don’t_ like it when you’re all Wintery, you’re right. And I won’t apologize for that, because this is not who you are Molly. I don’t know what’s gotten into you but you are not yourself.”

“Oh, you don’t like me when I’m Wintery?” She sat up straighter and her eyes were wild. “You don’t like that I’m not your precious old Molly? Well, maybe you should have manned the fuck up and done something about it before it was too late!”

“What are you talking about?” I asked slowly.

“You think I wanted to be like this? I asked you, I begged you, I tried subtle, I tried overt, fuck I came right out and told you you could take me like twelve hours before we went to your stupid island. All you had to do was say yes just one time, one time before that awful night.” She broke down into tears and I just stood there with no idea how to respond. “I waited for so long Harry. I’ve given up so much because I was waiting for you. Do you even know? Do you understand?”

And I did. She’d been a virgin, and she’d have to be to be the vessel for the Lady. She wasn’t a child when she followed me onto Demonreach that night. But she was still pure. Because she’d been too busy waiting for a guy who hadn’t given her a second glance to go out and live her life the way she was meant to. She’d tried to tell me that before we slept together that first night, that if I’d made my move two years prior when I first came back, things might have been different. But I hadn’t and now… “I’m sorry.” It was inadequate. “You’re right. I never meant for you to have to give up so much for me. I didn’t want that. I didn’t know though. Neither of us did. I’m so sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m just in a bad mood.” She sighed, drumming the fingernails of one hand against the side of her mug. “I won’t say I’m sorry for countermanding the Queen’s orders. And I can’t promise not to do it again. But I can promise that if I ever do it again, it will only ever be for something really important. Something where it’s better for you to listen to me than the Queen.”

“I…” What could I say? I trusted her but…no, no buts. I trusted her and should have trusted her the night before. Even if it seemed crazy. Even if it seemed way more dangerous to listen to her. The bottom line is she knew more than me now and I needed to start trusting her the way she'd always trusted me. “Okay. But I still hope it doesn’t come to that. I don't, that is to say, I wish. I mean, Molly, you know you don't have to command me. If you want me to do something you just need to ask. That's where my girlfriend ranks – you might not always be top of my chain of command, but you're the only person I would choose to listen to if I could. The Winter Queen, the high queen that is, can give me as many orders as she wants, issue every command she can think and I'll do them because I have to. But she can’t make me want to do what she wants. You do. Not because you’re Lady Molly of Winter, but because I love you.” Her look was skeptical but I didn't get to hear her reply because the phone started ringing and I went to answer it.

I hadn’t even finished saying hello when a gruff voice said, “Finally. You’re not an easy fellow to track down.”

“Ebb.” Hearing his voice unexpectedly was an odd comfort, especially after the last 24 hours. “Uh, sorry. Yeah, I didn't think to give you the new number.”

“Went over to see your cop. Figured you’d be there. But she says you’ve got your own place. Gave me your new number.”

“She’s not a cop anymore, Sir.” Molly gave me the stink eye and I hastened to add, “Or mine. And I don’t know if I’d say it’s my own place. I’m living with Molly.”

He was quiet for a minute and I worried the line wasn’t cooperating but when he spoke he sounded careful like he was weighing his words. “I guess that would make things easier for you two with your new responsibilities. Well listen, I’m in town. Wanted to see if you’d like to get together for lunch, grab a cold one?”

“There’s a few things I need to handle here. How about we do dinner instead? You can come over here, meet the family?”

I could hear his smile over the phone. “Let me know when and where and I'll be there, Hoss.” I gave him the address and he agreed to meet us around 4. That gave me enough time to grab Maggie, decide what we were going to have for dinner, persuade Thomas to come, and let everyone know the score before Ebenezer got here.

“I take it you heard all of that?” I asked, hanging up.

“Yep. I sure did.” There was something in Molly's too-sweet tone that set off warning bells.

“…Is that okay with you? I can call him back if you want. Meet up elsewhere or–”

“Nope. I know how important he is to you.” She was brushing out her hair and seemed to be doing it with much more force than was necessary. My keen observation skills told me she might be upset.

“Okaaaay.” Look, I'm no stranger to having someone pissed off at me, especially those of a female persuasion. But usually I can at least figure out where I screwed up. I reviewed that phone conversation several times and didn't find anything wrong with it. But clearly, she did and just as clearly she was going to pretend she didn't, probably expecting me to figure it out on my own, another test. Great. Well, I wasn’t playing into that game. If she wanted to pretend she wasn't upset, I was happy to pretend I didn't notice. “I'm going to go grab Maggie. You coming with or staying here?”

“I should probably stay here and clean since we're having a surprise dinner party.”

“The house looks fine. And Ebenezer won’t care what it looks like anyway.” The frown she faced me with looked so much like her mother I almost cringed. “Fine, but you shouldn't have to clean. You’re still recovering and he’s my guest. I'll take care of it when we get back.”

“I'm fine.” She insisted, but when I headed downstairs and out to the car she followed. I've never been able to keep air conditioning functioning in any car I've owned for more than a day or two at best, but I suddenly understood the appeal. It might have been in the low 80s outside, but with a seething ice queen sitting beside me the car was pleasantly cool. Or as pleasant as it could be, with Molly silently and sullenly watching me drive.

Traffic was a mess and it was taking us forever to make our way across town to Karrin’s. There's only so much frigid silence one man can stand, and while I might be on the upward end of that tolerance curve, I had reached my limit. “Okay, I'll bite. What did I say or do wrong?”

“You didn't say or do anything.” Molly snapped.

“Want to tell me why the windows are frosting over then?”

She huffed in frustration. “You didn’t say _anything_.” I stared at her blankly. “You completely neglected to mention anything about us being together at all.”

I laughed, which was a bad idea, but I couldn’t help myself. “Of course I did. I told him we were living together.”

“And he assumed it was a Winter thing, an arrangement of convenience. And you did nothing to dissuade him.”

“I told him we were living together. What more did I need to say?” I tried not to sound irritated but it was a losing battle.

“Apparently nothing. Apparently, we’re just living together now, I guess.” She folded her arms and stared out the passenger window at nothing, pointedly ignoring me.

I started about five sentences and stopped each of them just as quickly, trying not to lash out in anger. _She’s sick. She’s been sick for weeks. She didn’t sleep much last night. She’s under a lot of stress. You love her. You don’t want to hurt her, physically or emotionally. You shouldn’t even have to tell yourself that Harry, what’s wrong with you?_ Finally, I settled on, “I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for him. Especially since he will be coming to dinner at our shared home tonight, where it will be abundantly clear that we are together in every sense of the word as we aren’t exactly subtle about it.”

She snorted. “In other words, you’re too scared to tell your father figure that you’re dating me, so you’re just going to spring it on him. The exact thing you said we couldn’t do to my parents.”

“Your parents cared. It was obviously going to be a big deal for them. Ebenezer isn’t like that. He’s never cared about who I’m dating, I don’t see why he would start now.”

“Heh. Okay. You don’t think he’ll care who you’re dating. But he might care a whole lot about _what_ you’re dating, and you know that as well as I do.”

“I…” I started to argue then shut my mouth. Shit. She was probably right. Had I subconsciously failed to mention Molly because I was worried he wouldn’t approve? No. That was crazy. Right? Right. But now that she mentioned it, there was a good possibility that he _wouldn’t_ approve. I mean, she was a fairy. I wouldn’t want Maggie to date a fairy. I didn’t even want her to talk to anyone from faerie besides Molly if I could avoid it. “I know that now. But I didn’t think about it earlier. I meant what I said. I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for him. You’re being crazy.”

For any other men out there (or I guess anyone dating a woman if you want to be PC about it) let me give you a word of advice: never, ever, ever, ever, for any reason should you ever utter the phrase “You’re being crazy” to your girlfriend. I don’t care what she has said or done. I don’t care if she’s full-on Fatal Attraction, boiling your kid’s bunny, standing over you with a knife while you sleep, speaking in reverse in dead languages, babbling nonsense and rocking back and forth in a straight jacket, there are some words and phrases that you should just never say around a woman and “You’re being crazy” or any variation on the theme is one of those things. In fact, the crazier she is, the dumber it is to point it out. Case in point – one Molly Carpenter, reformed dabbler in black magic, total basket case (primarily courtesy of yours truly), and clearly experiencing emotional instability as a result of the iron poisoning that she wouldn’t admit to.

“Crazy?” I’ve heard a lot of terrifying things in my life, but the way she said that one word will forever feature in the soundtrack to my nightmares “You want to talk about crazy? It’s _crazy_ that your former mentor still thinks you’re with Karrin after almost a year of us being together. It’s _crazy_ that you weren’t going to correct him about it if I hadn’t been there. It’s _crazy_ that you think you can lie to me like this and pretend like you’re not either afraid of losing Ebenezer’s approval or embarrassed to admit you’re with me. But yeah, go ahead and call me crazy. You haven't even seen crazy yet, buddy.”

_Oooooooh yes I have._ I thought as I glanced over at her eyes. Fortunately, my brain and my mouth did that thing where they communicated and kept me from saying something even more stupid. It was a new and unusual experience for me. I gripped the steering wheel tight, took a series of measured breaths, fought my mantle to keep control and replied, “Look, I'm sure neither of us slept much or well last night. We’re both wound up. I think we should take a minute to calm down.” She sniffed indignantly, but we sat in silence as we drove the last few blocks to Karrin’s and gradually the tense energy that was filling the car receded. As I put the car in park, I felt like I was able to at least open my mouth without screaming or gnashing my teeth. “I'm sorry that I didn’t tell Ebenezer that we were together earlier. I didn’t think about how important that might be. I'll make sure it’s the first thing I tell him when he arrives tonight. I’m not embarrassed by you. I’m not desperate for his approval and even if I was, you’re more important.”

She sniffed again and I realized she’d been crying. Fantastic. “Okay.”

I stared at her, waited a beat and said, “Okay?”

“Okay. I accept your apology.”

“You accept my…” I muttered under my breath. “Great.” I waited to see if there was an acknowledgment that she’d been behaving irrationally or an apology of any kind, but when nothing was forthcoming I just got out of the car and she followed.

We were almost to the door when Molly quietly asked, “Are you mad at me, Harry?”

I put as much ‘are you fucking kidding me’ as I could into my face. “Am I – really – you want to know if – yeah, you know what, I am. I don’t know what your deal is lately but I’m tired of you snapping, taking it out on me and just expecting me to go along with it when you come down. And acting like it was all my fault in the first place.”

“It _was_ all your fault in the first place.” She sniped back.

“That is a bunch of bull and you know it.” I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to air our dirty laundry for the whole of Murphy’s quiet little street to hear. I didn’t want to be the crazy couple that has a public fight. I didn’t want to fight with Molly at all. But it had started sleeting around us and I could feel Winter rising in me, barely in check.

“Oh I forgot, I’m just being crazy right? Crazy psycho Molly. Expecting my boyfriend to admit we’re dating.”

“If the nice white coat with all the buckles fits…”

The door opened. The door to Murphy’s house. The house where I’d lived for half a year with the woman I’d thought was the love of my life. But instead of the petite blonde with the cute button nose that I’d expected to see, I was looking at a tall, dark expanse of smooth naked skin, rippling muscles marked here and there with scars and no less impressive for it. He had jeans on but they seemed to emphasize his nudity rather than detract from it. A broad smile was spread across his face but his large brown eyes held a hint of worry. The primal, Wintery part of my brain categorized this unexpected, half-naked stranger as a threat to my territory. I might have been able to ignore that though if at that moment Karrin hadn’t come running up behind him….or if her hair hadn’t been a total mess…or if she’d been wearing a single item of clothing besides a long men’s t-shirt…If I’d had two seconds to process coherent thought I would have heard her say “Sanya, wait, don’t get involved in Harry’s–” as she hurried toward him and maybe I would have reacted differently.

But I’d already been worked up when the door opened. I’d been on the verge of losing control since pretty much the night before. And my logical rational brain had done the math. One half-naked male in his prime, plus one half-naked Karrin with sex hair equals…and that’s where that rational brain shut off and Winter took over so hard I blacked out for a second. Just a second. Then my fist slammed into Sanya’s face.

Blood immediately started gushing and I felt a surge of satisfaction. I had bloodied the interloper on my territory before he even had a chance to react. The satisfaction was short-lived, as he wasted no time in sweeping my legs out from under me, unphased by what had to be at least a broken nose. I could have taken him still. He was only human and without his weapons, he wasn’t in quite the same league as me. Which, I thought, made it all the more insulting that he dared to touch what was mine, to challenge my supremacy.

Unfortunately, Lady Winter _was_ in my league and she was not pleased with my actions. What else was new? When I tried to get up to defend myself against the human’s attacks an unseen force held me pinned to the ground, like a strong wind. I struggled against it, snarling as the human pinned my arms behind my back. The smaller of my two females was shouting, red-faced and angry but I ignored her. My Lady was not so easy to ignore. “Stay down, Sir Knight.”

“Make me.” I barked.

“That is what she is doing, da?” Sanya asked from behind me. His English was almost unintelligible with the broken nose.

“Yes. She is.” Lady Molly bit off each word. “Stand down, Sir Dresden. I don’t want to have to compel you.”

“Christ, Molly, compel him?” The small one asked. “What is wrong with you? Both of you?” She added looking at me.

“He just punched _Sanya_! If I don’t keep him controlled until he calms down he will tear him apart, maybe literally. Sanya can’t handle him. Neither of you can.” After a beat, she added, “No offense.”

Murphy fixed her cop stare, a ‘that’s it, I’m taking you in’ disappointed frown, in Molly’s direction. “Maybe not in a fight. But there’s more than one way to handle Harry when he loses control.” She took a few steps closer and crouched down in front of me. The scent of arousal was strong on her. She’d mated recently and the knowledge only fueled my rage. How dare she? Hadn’t she been my mate? Somewhere under the anger, there was also a small cold knot of pain, but I ignored it. “Harry? I know you’re in there.” She said quietly.

“He’s not possessed.” The Lady said, scoffing at how ridiculous the notion was. “This is also part of him.”

“That doesn’t mean he can’t fight it,” Murphy replied, but she watched my eyes as she said it. She lowered her voice. “Harry, I know. I know how this feels, okay? I’m sorry. This is not how I wanted you to find out.”

“I didn’t think you wanted him to find out at all.” Sanya chimed in from his position at my back. I snarled.

“Shut up. You’re not helping. If you had just listened to me – ugh.” She shook her head and met my eyes again, maintaining contact. “Harry. I need you to calm down, okay? One of my neighbors is likely to call the cops at this display, and Maggie’s in the back yard. Do you really want your daughter to see you like this?” It was gently said, but effective at cutting through the anger. I closed my eyes for a minute to think. “It’s okay Harry. You can fight it. I know it hurts. I’m so sorry.”

I opened my eyes again and was looking into a pair of sympathetic blue ones, too familiar but also…not the ones I wanted to be looking into at that moment. They were too dark, the beginning of lines that would one day be a pronounced sign of her age crinkling them up at the corners, and a different kind of weight than Molly’s. Reason poured back into the empty spaces where I’d let the anger drain out of me and with it came my old companions; guilt, shame, and a deep, aching pain. “Karrin.”

An ocean of thoughts, apologies, emotions and shared history passed between us at that one simple word, the exhalation of her name on my breath. It held a hundred thousand “What if”s. A million regrets of things said that could never be unsaid, and things unsaid that we would never ever say. Not now. Because that’s what I saw in her eyes, more expressive and clearer than any soul gaze or wizard’s Sight I’d ever had – we were really and truly over. My dark eyes weren’t the ones she wanted to gaze into anymore either. Friends. Maybe something more than friends, because it just wasn’t a strong enough word for what we had. My comrade. My partner. But only platonically. As the moment passed between us I saw her recognition, her acknowledgment of the same, one corner of her mouth quirked up in a half-smile. I smiled in return. “There he is.” She said softly. “Let him up you two. He’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean _obviously_ Harry and Karrin belong together forever and the biggest hurdle for me to overcome writing this fic was the stabbing pain in my heart every time I have to put them in a room together and they're _not_ together.
> 
> But Sanya's a reeeeeeeeaaaaalllllly good backup plan for her, right? It just sort of happened, but now every time I reread something with either/both of them, I can't help embarking on the S.S. Sanya/Karrin. I will sail this ship to the ends of the earth and back.


	8. Chapter 8

The pressure went away and Sanya released me, actually offering a hand up. “I am,” There were a lot of words that I wanted to say about myself as my friend, a man who had charged into the worst of nightmares at my side to help save my kid, helped me to my feet with a sheet of blood gushing from the broken nose that I’d given him. But I just settled on, “So sorry.”

“You should be.” He said with none of his usual cheer and I rocked back. It’s not that he was wrong, just that it was unexpected for him. His grin returned. “You owe me $20.” I blinked. “Karrie says you will hit me when you find out. I say, eh, he’s more likely to use magic. Maybe I will be frozen or set on fire. She says I don’t know you as well as she does. We bet $20. Turns out, she is right. I am happy. I did not want to be set on fire. Is not a pleasant experience.”

“Yeah, and tell him what else I said,” Karrin added, standing beside us.

“Ah, yes. She also says, if you make trouble she will kick your ass and,” He smiled down at her indulgently. “‘Defend my honor from your alpha male bullshit.’”

Murph smacked one fist into her opposite palm. “You’re damn right I did. What’s it going to be Dresden. You want to make a big deal about this?”

“I kinda do,” I cracked my knuckles, rolled my neck and I watched her tense, ready to fight if necessary. “Just to see you fight in nothing but that t-shirt. I’m sure the whole neighborhood wants to know whether or not you had time to put on your underwear before you came running out here to defend your distressed damsel.”

Blushing is an understatement. Karrin turned the color of ripe tomatoes from head to toe. “Speaking of. Let’s take this inside so that I can still look Mrs. Porchetzski in the face when we pass on the street in the future. I’ve already got enough of a reputation.” She looked up at Sanya. “And maybe we should call Waldo?”

“Is not my first broken nose, _yagodka_. It will not be my last. I just need ice for it.”

“I think we can help with that, right Molls?” I turned toward her and she wasn’t there. “Molls?” Murphy nodded toward the other side of the street where Molly was briskly walking away in the opposite direction of our car. I swore. “You two go inside. I’ll be in in a minute.” I jogged over to Molly. “Molls, I know how this looks but-“

She had dropped her glamor completely, white hair blowing in an arctic breeze that came from nowhere. When she turned to me I saw her eyes were so pale they were practically white as well, the sort of pale blue eyes some albino animals get, a haunting icy shade. “Enough!” Small hailstones pelted me with the force of her voice. “I am so done, Harry. I can’t even stand the sight of you right now.”

“I’m sorry, I just lost it. You know better than anyone how it works. I was already upset and seeing him there, my mantle became…territorial.”

“Oh of course. Your mantle.” She sneered. “Well go ahead. Run back to your ‘territory’. So cute. So tough. So smart and perfect and wonderful and normal and not crazy like your goddamn girlfriend, right? Maybe Sanya will share.”

“Molls, I-“

“No!” The Winter Lady shouted and I was blown back a few paces, shards of ice cutting my face. “Don’t ‘Molls’ me! You were jealous! I could feel it, Harry. You forget and you lie but I can always feel it! Even when you claim to be with me, claim to be mine, you’re still jealous that your precious Karrin would dare to be with someone else. Well, I’m not living like that. I spent too damn long watching you and her, wishing you would look my way, for you to still look at her like that.”

“There’s nothing between Karrin and me, Molly. I have promised myself to you over and over again. You said you knew I would never be unfaithful. I’m not. I don’t ever want to be. I had a momentary lapse of judgment in the middle of a bad day. Will you please just calm down so we can get Maggie, go home, and put all of this behind us?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For me to just forget? You said you’re mine, but you don’t listen to me. I told you to stand down and you fought me. Karrin tells you to calm down and suddenly it’s smiles and staring into each other's eyes and everything’s okay.”

I stared at her and knew I had a major decision to make. How I responded was vitally important. I could argue, I could say things that would hurt her, I could give her reassuring lies. I had a lot of options. But in the end, I settled for honesty. “It had nothing to do with whether it was you or Karrin talking to me, Molly. It was what she said, and how she said it. You talked to the Winter Knight and commanded me to calm down.”

“You _are_ the Winter Knight. Just as much as I’m the Lady. And that means you should follow my commands just like you would follow Mab’s.”

“I did. With great resistance and unwillingness. It’s the only way the Knight will do anything he’s commanded to do. But Murphy didn’t talk to me as the Winter Knight. She spoke to me as a person. She appealed to my rationality. She invoked Maggie. It isn’t _who_ was talking to me, Molly. It was who she was talking to and what she said.”

Molly closed her eyes and hugged herself tightly, white locks floating around her with little regard for actual physics or gravity. After a beat, she said, “Right. Because she’s not a monster.” She didn’t sound angry anymore, just defeated. “I’m sorry Harry, I can’t…I can’t deal with any of this right now. I just, I need some time to think and…I’m sorry.” She disappeared. I don’t know if she veiled herself or if she stepped over to the Nevernever or what but she was there one second and gone the next, leaving me standing on the sidewalk bewildered and alone. How the hell had everything gotten so screwed up in such a short span of time? I yelled in wordless frustration before storming back to Murphy’s to collect my daughter and figure out my next steps.

Sanya and Karrin sat at her kitchen table, talking in hushed voices when I came back in. One of her tiny hands covered his where it rested on the table. I thought about how comically small she looked next to him and with a pang realized it couldn't be nearly as ridiculous as we'd looked. I couldn't help the jealousy that stirred in my chest unbidden at the sight of them together in a moment of quiet intimacy. I just wanted to go home, find Molly and enjoy little moments like that with her. I wanted to stop fighting. I wanted to stop hurting and just go back to the comfortable life we had together.

But instead, I cleared my throat as I walked into a kitchen where I'd once spent every morning drinking my coffee while Karrin went through her forms **,** and where I was now a guest at best and the asshole who had punched her boyfriend (boyfriend? Or maybe just friends with benefits. Karrin didn't like labels. I decided the less I thought about this the better I'd feel.) at worst. “Sooooo. Molly won’t be joining us. And it’s come to my attention that perhaps I did not react, uh, as positively as I may have liked just now.” I stared at my feet with a grimace.

“You think?” Murphy asked with a snort.

“I'm sorry. Molly and I have been…going through something. She's still sick and I think it's making her mantle bug out or something. And then mine reacts to hers and…and it still wasn’t okay. I know that. Are you…you gonna be alright?” I forced myself to look at Sanya’s face even if I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“What, this?” He gestured toward the ice pack pressed against his face. “This is nothing. In my country, we are made of stronger stuff than you Americans.”

His smile was infectious and I found myself grinning back. “Damn. I'll just have to hit harder next time.”

“You go ahead and try it, big guy. I've got a nail gun with your name on it.” Murphy said with a gimlet eye.

“Relax Karrie. What is a broken bone or two between friends?” Sanya told her returning his hand to hers.

“You hate being called Karrie.” I pointed out, and Karrin flushed again.

“It-It’s different when he says it.”

“Is the accent. Ladies love an accent, Harry.” He told me, but everyone in the room knew it wasn't the accent at all. Or Karrin and I did. Sanya worked for God with the capital G and was still an atheist so, I wasn’t sure that I trusted his observation skills. I looked back and forth between them, wondering how long they'd been together and, more importantly, how I’d missed it. I guess it had been a while since I'd seen Sanya but Murph and I worked together a lot. Maybe my observation skills needed work too. Or maybe I just needed to talk to her more. I'd never asked about her love life and she’d never volunteered anything.

“I know it might not seem like it, but I _am_ happy for you two and whatever this is.” I addressed both of them but I watched Karrin as I said it. Her shoulders dropped, her posture eased and the smile that had been playing at her lips finally stayed and reached her eyes. It warmed something in me to know that at least it had still mattered to her what I thought. “Anyway, I've bothered you enough for one day. Let me just grab Maggie and we'll get out of your hair.” They shared a look. “What? What happened? Is Maggie okay?”

“Maggie’s fine, Harry. She's playing out back with Mouse. I think they're digging a hole to the center of the earth right now. “ Murphy said, swiveling slightly to look out the back window. I couldn't see Maggie from where I was but it looked like she could. “It's just…maybe you should leave her here for a while longer.”

What a strange thing to say. “Nah, I appreciate it but we've already strained your hospitality. Ebenezer is coming over for dinner tonight and I really want him to meet her.”

“Karrie is being polite,” Sanya told me, and I noticed the way he squeezed her hand when he said it. A lump started forming in my throat. “You should leave her here, at least until you have sorted out your business with Molly.”

“What?” I looked back and forth between them. Sanya didn't look away but Karrin wouldn't meet my gaze. “I appreciate the offer but we can work through our problems with Maggie in the house.” Neither said anything and cold dread filled my stomach. “Oh come on. No matter how perfect you are, every couple fights sometimes, and that includes people with kids.”

“Yeah but, Harry, not every couple has the same…energies you two have to deal with when you fight. And…” Karrin looked like she might be sick, staring at her hands on the table. “Well, you two aren't just arguing, are you? Your fights get physical too.”

“Sometimes, but that's Winter, it's not…I mean neither one of us is abused or anything. And we'd certainly never do anything to hurt Maggie.” I stood in total disbelief at the awkward silence filling the room. “Karrin…you know I would never hurt Maggie. I’ll never let anyone hurt her. After everything, you have to know that.”

“I know that you'd never intentionally hurt her or let anything happen to her.” She said slowly. “But...I haven't seen you lose control like you lost it today since, well, since that night on Demonreach. And Molly wasn’t far behind you. Sanya came out because we heard you two arguing and it was sleeting around you. Your face is bleeding and it wasn't when you crossed the street to talk to her. I don't know what's going on with you both and I'm not going to ask. It's none of my business. But until it's sorted,” she set her jaw and finally met my eyes with fierce determination. “I'm not letting you take Maggie. It's too dangerous.”

“That's ridiculous!” I started toward the back door to call for my daughter. “We're going home. Now.”

“No. You're not.” Murphy moved to block my path. “I'm sorry Harry, but you're not taking her. Not like this.”

My voice was low, barely more than a growl. “And just what do you think you can do to stop me?”

The unmistakable sound of a sword being unsheathed rang through the room. Esperrachius almost glowed in the light coming in from the kitchen window, and Sanya held it with a casual ease that would have fooled anyone not familiar with his fighting prowess. “There is a great deal we _can_ do. But not so much we wish to do.”

“No, you just wish to hold my daughter hostage, to keep her from me.” I snarled. “Think about what happened to the last guy that did that.”

“No one is holding her hostage,” Murphy said. “We’re just trying to keep her safe. I mean, look at you right now. You’re threatening your friends, willing to go up against a Knight of the Cross. This isn’t you.” She took hold of both of my wrists, pushing my clenched fists down to my sides and I let her. “Neither of you would intentionally hurt her, but I’m not willing to risk her being collateral damage. You would never forgive yourself if something happened, neither would Molly. So go. Come back later tonight, or tomorrow, or however long it takes for you two to get your shit together. We’ll keep her safe until then.”

I wanted to scream. I wanted to fight and shout and claw my way through them both to get to my offspring. But her calm, reasoning voice was enough to make me realize that those thoughts and desires were only proving her point. What if I lost control again in front of Maggie, scarred her for life? What if Molly chose to blast me with another ice shard storm and Maggie got caught in the cross-fire? I was still angry, but I directed that anger where it really belonged – towards myself. I clenched my jaw over harsh words that my friends did not deserve, chewed them over and finally spat out. “Thank you.”

With a great deal of effort, I turned and started walking. I didn’t stop until I reached my car. If I stopped I might go back and I didn’t know what I would do if I went back. I don’t actually recall driving. Hopefully, I hadn’t run any red lights. I couldn’t recall parking the car. Couldn’t recall checking in with security, walking up the stairs or knocking on the door. But I suppose I must have done those things, because I remember looking up from my shaking hands into my brother’s face as he opened the door and the way my voice trembled when I quietly said, “I think I need help.”

Several half-clothed women were lounging about in his living room when Thomas and I entered. He didn’t even give them a second glance before telling them to get out. When they stared in confusion, he shouted it again. “Get. Out. _Now!_ ” And all but Justine hastened to obey.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, coming to her feet. Because I am a gentleman, and she was my brother’s girlfriend, I didn’t even notice that she was in nothing but her birthday suit. Nor did I notice exactly how appealing that sight was or consider how time had only ripened her curvaceous figure.

Thomas gave me a sideways glance. “My sweet, would you mind running to the store? We're almost out of Merlot, I think.”

She kissed his cheek. “You could have just said you want privacy.” She chided without any real heat. He turned his head to catch her lips with his.

“I could have. But we _are_ almost out of Merlot.” She smiled at him and my chivalry was again put to the test as I emphatically did not notice her shimmy into a little black dress, a move which displayed intriguing hip gyrations and a good deal of bouncing, jiggling flesh…or so I'd imagine. I can't know for sure of course because I would never have looked, even for a second.

“Have it your way,” she said fondly. “But I'm taking the Bugatti.” Thomas laughed softly as she ghosted out of the apartment.

“You didn't send her out for my privacy, did you?” I knew what his answer would be, but I asked anyway.

“Wasn’t sure what kind of help you needed. Historically, dangerous things follow you. I thought she'd be safer away from here until I know what we're dealing with.” He passed me a beer, grabbed one for himself and plopped down on the couch. “So what's the dangerous thing of the week now?”

I couldn't stop my face from contorting into a sickened scowl. “According to Karrin, it's me. And I'm afraid she’s right.”

Thomas took a pull from his bottle. “What happened?”

“A lot. I clocked Sanya, for one.”

“Ah. Guess you finally figured that one out.” He tilted his beer at me in salute. “I told her to tell you before you caught them. But you know Murphy.”

I blinked at him. “You knew?”

“Yeah. He was making eyes at her at your birthday party last year. He insisted on taking her home. I ran into them in a bar a couple of weeks later and they looked pretty serious. She asked me not to say anything. I wasn’t sure if it was still going on but,” He shrugged. “It seemed like more than a casual fling. I'm not surprised.”

I grunted. “I broke his nose.”

“Good for you. I’d have done the same thing. It’s bad enough to sleep with a friend’s ex, even worse to keep it a secret. Major bro code violations going on there.”

“No, I lost control, Thomas. I would have killed him if Molly and Karrin hadn’t stopped me.” I flexed my hands. “Karrin wouldn’t let me leave with Maggie. Said Molly and I are too dangerous for her.”

“Oof.” He took a long drink and made it look so good I did the same. “Just for punching her boyfriend?”

“Well…” I drained half the bottle. “There may have been additional factors.” I laid out the last day’s worth of events, skipping over the exact details of our rendezvous in the dungeon, just describing the conversation with Mab and Molly and our ensuing fighting. When I finished, Thomas stood without a word, walked to the kitchen and came back with two glasses of whiskey.

“Beer is not strong enough for this. I don't know how to say this nicely, so I'm just going to say it.” He gestured for me to drink and that was all the encouragement I needed. “Molly is a fucking psycho.”

“That's not fair. I've been-“

“You've been your usual stupid self. She is insane.”

Honestly, I had been thinking the same thing but I had worried that maybe I was being self-absorbed, too arrogant to see how this was my fault. “You think so?”

“Yeah. I mean, you've been kind of a dick but she's been off the wall crazy. I can see her getting irritated that you didn't think to mention that you’re dating to McCoy, or at you being jealous over Sanya and Murphy, but not on this scale. This is some next-level jealousy out of nowhere.” He frowned in thought. “Mab said she’s grown in power. Do you think she’s involved in something that’s messing with her mind?”

“It’s possible, I guess but,” I shook my head. “I don’t think so. She seemed just as confused and surprised as I was at the accusation. It might be something effecting her without realizing it though.” I ran through a mental list of things that could cause erratic behavior, compared against things that could affect you without your knowledge or consent and didn’t come up with anything likely. “I don’t know. She’s still dealing with the iron poisoning. The first time she was fully recovered in a few weeks but now, I mean it’s been over a month and she’s still not doing great. And the doctor said she might have power fluctuations.”

“I mean, there’s another possible explanation, right?” I waited for him to explain. “I’d never say it around her but, maybe she’s just on the rag?”

“Ugh. There were so many better ways you could have said that.” I thought about it and shook my head. “Nah, suffice it to say that I would have noticed that during several recent activities.”

“Yeah, but Justine always switches into bitch-mode a few days before.” He shrugged. “Just an idea.”

“I’ve never noticed any significant behavior changes before. But I guess if the iron poisoning is already messing with her mantle, and her hormones or whatever are out of whack, maybe it could be compounding into full-on psycho?” The whiskey burned its way down my throat into a warm puddle in my stomach. “I’m not sure that’s it either. She’s been erratic for weeks, it’s just been steadily getting worse.”

“Have you tried talking to her? Outside of an argument?”

“She says she’s fine. Just tired, or stressed or not feeling well.” I swirled the amber liquid, watching my ice cubes clink against the sides of the glass. “She needs to see a doctor. A real doctor.”

“So take her to Butters. Or hell, take her to a regular doctor.”

“That’s great until they try to use a steel stethoscope on her skin, or give her an IV of something and make it worse,” I growled in frustration. “She’s supposed to call Butters today, but I just don’t know if he’s going to be able to do anything. We might just have to let this run its course.”

“You’re welcome to hide out here in the meantime. Wait until she’s more stable.”

I looked at him like he had two heads. “No way. I’m not going to abandon her just because she’s messed up right now. She’s stuck by me through all of my shit. I’ll handle whatever she throws at me, and do whatever I need to to be there for her. She’d do no less for me.”

“That’s very noble but-“ Thomas stopped midsentence. Out in the kitchen, there was a persistent vibrating noise accompanied by a female vocalist screeching over hard rock instrumentals. Thomas’s brow furrowed and he glanced over at me. “My cell. I wasn’t sure if a salt circle would do enough to shield it from you but it seemed like the best option.” The noise continued and he frowned harder. “You know what. I should really take that. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be right here,” I said to his back as he hastened for the kitchen.

“Thomas Raith.” He answered, all business. After a beat, his voice dropped into a lower tone, each word sounding like something delightfully sinful as it rolled across his tongue. “For you, I have all the time you need…of course, my pet…” He peered around the edge of the doorway, tilting the phone away from his mouth. “Sorry, Harry. I might be a few. Just make yourself at home.”

He didn’t need to tell me twice. While he disappeared into his bedroom with the phone, I raided his fridge. It seemed a little rude to get up in the middle of our conversation about my life falling apart to go have phone sex with someone, but Thomas was who he was and there was no changing him. So instead, I helped myself to all the fixings for a turkey sandwich and sat back down with nothing to do but think.

I couldn’t control Molly’s emotions or behaviors. I couldn’t stop my own mantle from responding to hers. So what could I control? When faced with a problem (i.e. my girlfriend has lost her mind) it can be easy to get so focused on the problem that you never find a solution. But years of professional wizardry and PI work have helped train me to focus on potential solutions. What can I do about the situation? What impact can I have? What can I constructively do? I couldn’t solve the problem of Molly overreacting. But I could control my own actions.

Molly didn’t want to fight any more than I did. I knew that. She loved me just as much as I loved her. I knew that too. So the only conclusion I could draw was that she didn’t want to overreact either. She didn’t want to hurt me any more than I wanted to hurt her. And it didn’t matter what the cause was, it just mattered that she didn’t want to be like this either. When I put it in that frame of reference, my solution, my answer to the ‘what can I control’ question became obvious – apologize and move on. It didn’t matter whether I was right or wrong, whether she was freaking out over nothing, who’s fault it was, because that’s not what she was really upset about. She was upset because she was upset. And if I argued or pushed or called her out on it in the moment, it was only going to make it harder for her to control her emotions. Just like outside of Murphy’s when I’d lost control – Molly’s anger and fight for dominance made it harder to retain my sanity. It took soft words and compassion, an acknowledgment or understanding, to allow me to calm down and admit that I’d overreacted. I’d been doing the same thing to her – expecting an apology in the middle of an argument, goading her on, being harsh and angry.

An apology, even when I didn’t feel like I was in the wrong or when she was blowing it out of proportion was a small price to pay if it would let her calm down and come to her senses. My wounded pride was nothing compared to holding her again. I needed to find her and apologize, to listen to her concerns and do what I could to address them, to make her feel secure and loved and valued. And maybe…well, we’d see how it went when I found her. I started planning what I would say while I waited for Thomas to finish up. He wasn’t as long as I would have expected, and when he came back out I just said, “I need to go find Molly.”

Thomas gave me a sly smile. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“I don’t know if I should start at the house or Arctis Tor.”

“Start at the house. I’d bet she’s gone home to wait for you.”

“You’re probably right.” I agreed, already halfway out the door. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Depends on the favor.”

“Come by for dinner tonight. Give me an hour or two to sort things out and then stop by. Oh and grab Maggie and Mouse on the way? Karrin will know you won’t let her near us if we’re not safe.”

“And what if you’re not safe when I drop by?” He asked.

“Then drop her off with Michael and Charity or take her back to Karrin’s or hold onto her for a few hours or something. But we’ll be fine. I have a plan.”

“Harry, I have nightmares of all the times I’ve heard you say those four words.” He sighed. “Your plans rarely go according to plan.”

“Yeah,” I grinned. “But they always work out in the end. See you in a bit.”

I had barely pulled the keys out of the ignition before getting out of the car. Molly was home, I could feel it. I should probably have been nervous or conflicted, tensed and ready for action, hell I probably should have conjured a shield just in case. But I was ready to get this over with, to stop fighting and get our lives back on track. I vaulted over the steps entirely, barreling through the door full of energy. I found her in the living room standing by the window and I wasted no time getting to the point. “Look, Molly, I’m sorry, I know you’re going through a lot and –“

“Harry.” She said quietly, trying to get me to stop talking, but I kept right going.

“-I haven’t been as supportive as I should be. But I swear to you that there’s nothing between Karrin and I but friendship anymore. It was stupid for me to get jealous when I’m so lucky to-“

“Harry.” She tried to protest, more emphatic this time, but if I stopped now I’d lose my nerve.

“-have you. I don’t want or need anyone else but you and Maggie. Molly, with you I can see a life that I never saw with anyone else before. It might not be normal by any mortal standards but Hells Bells is it great. I wouldn’t change this for –"

“Harry!” She shouted and I finally shut my mouth. “I thought you should know, Harry, I um. I’m,” the word she mumbled next was hard to make out. I mean, I thought I’d heard it but I couldn’t have possibly heard her right.

“You’re what?” I asked, breathless.

Her voice was tiny and scared, barely more than a whisper when she said, “pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a monster. I deserve your rage. Yet, I'm not sorry. *ducks and hides*
> 
> Three guesses what a large portion of the next part is about. If you ragequit here, I understand. Not sure why you're still reading tbh. If you decide to keep going on this arduous trek of a fic, you can expect a fuckton of drama, several answers to outstanding questions (and several dozen new questions,) an awkward dinner party, and soooo much fluff, like seriously, ultra-saccharine, tooth-rottingly-sweet fluff. 
> 
> ...I just wanted good things for Molly, guys. It just kept snowballing. I was powerless to stop it.


End file.
